When I decided that I was ready to start trying to get pregnant, I knew that I was going to be in store for some pretty big changes. After all, being pregnant and having baby are two of the biggest life changes that a woman can experience.

To prepare myself, I started stocking up on reading material. What to Expect When You’re Expecting, The Girlfriends’ Guid to Pregnancy, and The New Mom’s Survival Guide were just some of the books that I read through (I highly suggest these titles, by the way.)

I didn’t just read through them, I highlighted and bookmarked, too. I wanted to fully prepare myself for what to expect when I got pregnant, as well as labor and delivery. But man, was I surprised, because once I got pregnant and once the baby did come, I quickly realized that it didn’t matter how much reading I did, it’s next to impossible to really understand what it being pregnant and having a baby will be like – until you actually go through the experience yourself.

Turns out that I’m not the only one who found out that pregnancy and giving are filled with surprises. I spoke to 13 other moms, and here’s what they said they wish they knew before getting pregnant giving birth.

12 The Epidural Might Fail You

Many women take comfort in knowing that an epidural will help them get through the pain of labor and delivery. While they certainly do help for a lot of women, they don’t help for all.

“When my contractions got really bad, I decided that it was time for an epidural. I was really disappointed when it didn’t work. It turns out that it wasn’t put in properly and I felt everything! So, I went through having the epidural put in and got absolutely no relief. If I had to do it over again, though, I think I would still get the epidural in hopes that it would work…. I’ll definitely try it again if I have another baby.”

11 Feeling The Baby Kick Is Actually Annoying AF

Sally V told me that she wished that she knew how annoying it can be to feel the baby move, and I can totally relate.

“Don’t get me wrong, it was totally awesome to feel my baby moving around inside my belly. At first, it was almost surreal; but after a while, it got pretty old. Actually, it got pretty annoying. My little guy thought that the best time to be super active was when I was trying to sleep. Every time I’d lie down, he’d start kicking, flipping, twirling… At least that’s what it felt like. It really started to get on my nerves and definitely did not allow me to “save up on my sleep” – as so many people kept telling me I should do.”

10 The Birth Plan Is Useless

Many women have an idea of how they want to give birth; a natural birth at home, a medically assisted birth at the hospital, a hypnobirth… While a birth plan can come to fruition, in many cases, they don’t, like in the case of Trudy E.

“I was all set to have a natural childbirth at home. I was really excited about the whole experience, and we had everything all set up and ready to go. At first, things went according to plan; however, when my labor didn’t progress and the baby’s heart rate dropped, I had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency C-section. I was upset, but I was just glad that we were both healthy.”

9 Prepare For A Crowd Of Fans

Women who are modest are in for a big surprise when it comes to labor and delivery. Not only are they completely exposed, but they are exposed to complete strangers. Brenda V said that she was shocked by how many strangers were in the delivery room.

“There I was, pushing, with all of my bits and pieces exposed, and they were on display for people who I had never seen before. There were four different nurses, and an anesthesiologist, and I just felt like, whoa, why are there so many strangers in here?! Honestly, at the time, I didn’t really care; I just wanted to get the baby out. However, when I think back on it, I’m like, wow, a lot of strangers saw a lot of me!”

8 The Fear Of Childbirth Will Haunt You

They say that misery loves company, which is perhaps why some women feel the need to share their horrifying birth stories pregnancy/labor/birth stories with pregnant women.

Lacy F said that she was absolutely horrified when she was pregnant and other women would divulge detailed stories of their most horrible pregnancy moments, and most of them involved labor and delivery.

“I don’t know why anyone would feel the need to tell someone who is pregnant for the first time their most horrifying stories related to pregnancy and giving birth. One of my girlfriends went into extreme detail about her labor and delivery, which was scary AF, and so did a woman in the waiting room of my doctor’s office! I was terrified when I went into labor!”

7 The Baby Will Make Or Break The Marriage

New mom Susan H told me that she wished she knew how hard pregnancy would be on her marriage. She said that though she and her husband had a very strong relationship, she wasn’t prepared for how much things would change once she got pregnant.

“I was so consumed with my pregnancy and myself that I didn’t really focus on my husband at all. I’m not saying that he should have gotten all of my attention, because that’s just ridiculous, but I should have made more time for him. All I did was talk about myself and the baby, and I put his needs last. That was hard on him, and we definitely had our fair share of arguments.”

6 An Easy Pregnancy Doesn't Mean An Easy Delivery

For many women, pregnancy isn’t a walk in the park, but some women luck out and experience hardly any symptoms. Joyce P was one of those lucky women, but she said that she was in store for a surprise when she went into labor.

“I had such an easy pregnancy. In fact, if it weren’t for the bump and the kicks, I would’ve forgotten that I was pregnant. I assumed that because my pregnancy was so easy that my labor and delivery would be, too. That wasn’t the case. I was a week late, had to be induced, and when labor still wouldn’t progress, I had to have an emergency c-section. Pregnancy was a breeze, but labor and delivery was anything but.”

5 Women Might Hate Being Pregnant (And That's Okay)

Pregnancy is a joyous time in every woman’s life; a time when she’s supposed to feel completely elated and overjoyed. Women are supposed to love being pregnant… At least that’s what they say (whoever they are.)

That’s simply not the case for all women. In fact, some women are not fond of being pregnant at all, like Maddie Q.

“I feel bad about saying this, but I hated being pregnant. Not only did I hate the morning sickness and the heartburn, but I hated everything else about it. I hate that I felt so big, that I had to stop doing things that I loved doing, and that my body was basically being invaded by someone else. I love my baby, but I hated sharing my body with her.”

4 Prepare To Be Body And Mommy Shamed

People judgment all the time, but it seems like pregnant woman are constantly being scrutinized. Patty G said that she felt like she was constantly under a microscope when she was expecting.

“I felt like I was judged a lot when I was pregnant; however, the worst was when I was at a birth class. I asked a question about pumping and told the instructor that I didn’t plan on breastfeeding and that I wanted to exclusively pump. Apparently, that was not acceptable to this one woman in the class. She started listing all of the benefits of breastfeeding, like bonding with the baby, and how much easier it is than pumping, and I was like, “Ok, that’s great for you, but that’s not what I want to do.””

3 Say Goodbye To The Friend Circle

Francesca L said that she didn’t realize how much her friendships would change when she was pregnant.

“I had a tight-knit circle of girlfriends, and I was the first to get pregnant. Everything was cool at first, but things started to change. My priorities were obviously different once I got pregnant, and we just weren’t on the same page anymore. I started to see less and less of my girlfriends. We were still friends, but things were just, different. I’m still friends with them, but things definitely aren’t the same as they used to be. It’s hard, because we were so close, but now I feel like we just don’t relate to each other anymore.”

2 Labor Will Feel Like An Eternity

The movies make it seem like as soon as a woman delivers a baby right after her water breaks; in reality, however, that’s not what happens for many women. In fact, labor can last for a long time. Victoria R said that is something she wished she had known.

“I was under the assumption that labor would be pretty quick. I was so wrong! I was in labor for 15 hours before delivering my son via an emergency C-section. FIFTEEN hours! I had absolutely no idea that it could take so long! Even though I labored for so long, things just didn’t progress. I only dilated to 5 cm and they decided a C-section would be the best option.”

1 It's Not All Sunshine And Rainbows

It’s normal for a woman to feel worried when she’s pregnant. After all, she’s creating her baby and there are so many things that can happen that could impact the development. However, many women don’t realize just how much worry comes along with pregnancy.

Janell P said that she not only worried about her baby, but she worried about her own health, and pretty much everything else. “I worried constantly. Was the baby alright? Was I going to be able to get through labor and delivery? Would we be able to provide for our baby? What if I wasn’t a good mom? What if I didn’t know what to do? What if the baby had a health issue? I worried so much that I forgot to enjoy my pregnancy.”