Parents have probably pictured this moment since they found out a baby was on the way. You would bring the baby into your house, introduce them to the family, show them the nursery you so painstakingly decorated, and the baby would give you a small nod of approval.

Next you would continue on a tour through the house and then. After that 10 minutes of time you would... hmm well you would obviously... Say, your house doesn't happen to be a mansion does it? If it is then it may be more of like a 30 minute tour. If it isn't, do you have time to invest in one? No, I guess that's just silly. Ignore that thought.

After the tour...how is this is going to be? Have you thought much past that? Don't worry, that's pretty normal. There are lots of things to consider. Is the baby into board games, does it enjoy music and dancing, or is he or she more of a foodie? I suppose this is your time to figure that out. Below are fifteen ways to describe that first hour home with your precious new baby.

15 Staring Contest

Do you remember when you were a kid (or like last week) and you loved to do staring contests? It's really a quick pick me up to prove that you are better than people at something after having a bad day. It doesn't require a ton of skill, and there is an official winner at the end, which is all that is important. Winning is all that is important and of course that doesn't matter if it's against a baby or an elderly person.

If any of that rings true for you, let me just say you are going to love this. That first hour you are going to probably have some time to practice your best strategies for staring contests. The bad news of course is that the baby likely isn't going to fall for your best stuff. The baby may even show you the ultimate sign of disrespect and fall asleep during the contest.

14 A Blur

Depending whether you got a lot of sleep in the hospital, this point in time may only be a blur. A cute fuzzy blur of a baby next to you or in your arms. You verified it had 10 toes and fingers in the hospital and you probably know if he or she has hair or not. All the main observations are out of the way. You have probably gotten one to two nights to take note of every hair and and sweet expression up to this point. Now you may need to relax for a minute now that you are at home and that minute might make some of this time go in a blur. Don't worry there will be millions of memories made with you and maybe even in this very home that you brought the baby to.

13 Paranoia - Is That Baby Looking At You Funny?

There is a little bit of anxiety that can happen after you arrive home. Is the baby going to cry? If the baby cries, what do you do? Why is the baby looking at you like that? Do you have something in your teeth? Do you smell something? It's not me.

Why are your eyes watering? He or she is just so beautiful, huh? I totally get it. Don't worry there is going to be many years to sob over this miracle that you have brought into your house. Should the baby be sleeping so much? Should you google how much sleep a baby needs? Should the baby be snoring? Oh no, she got that from her dad.

There are just a lot of questions that may run through your head in the first few minutes of the being home. Have those lights always been so light? Has the air conditioning always been so loud?

12 Cow Milking

Cluster feeding is something that you may have heard about. Basically the baby owns you for the first few weeks. That can be pretty apparent in the first hour at home. The baby doesn't want you to get too comfortable at home and forget about who rules the roost now. This may make you feel a little bit like the baby's own personal cow. There are worse things to be, you'll realize as you gaze into the baby's eyes and bond.

From what I read this whole cluster feeding thing can be quite exhausting, so try to also eat like a cow to keep the energy up. Now granted you probably don't have to do that in the first hour. Though I wouldn't blame you in the least if you decided to treat yourself. Cheesecake sounds so good right now, right?

11 Home Sweet Home

I had to do at least one sweet one. You can't be mad at me for that. This is a new life and new beginning. The first hour seals the deal on a new family dynamic. There is a wonder and happiness that can make you remember back to your first time coming home with your significant other after you were married or you first moved into together.

You are starting a family and that is an amazing feeling. This home sweet home is a little more full of love now that you have come back with your bundle of joy. That first hour may be spent in awe as you take it all in. Wondering what your new "normal" will end up being. Even if the sweetest of the first hour quickly dissolves with a high pitch cry or poopy diaper, you'll be loving every.minute.of.it.

10 Baby Sitting Gig

This is definitely going to take a minute to all set in. At first you may feel a little bit like it's a babysitting gig. You know like when you started your own Babysitters club in middle school and had to watch your first baby. Only that baby was not this small. It's all new once again.

The only problem is that the parents are going to be stumbling in at 1 shoving money your way and sending you on your way home. If only there was someone that gave you money after some of those awful nights. I digress - the newness and shock in the first hour makes you feel a little bit like you should be looking for an adultier adult to help you work through what to do with this baby. Don't worry. You have got this.

9 Rental

You know what they say about babies: You break it, you buy it. Hmm, I might be thinking of something else. I mean after all, this one you have already spent the money on. The hospital didn't send a return policy, did they? I only ask because they never did for me and I want to verify they didn't forget anything. They seemed rushed. Not like I would take them up on it, or you would either. I'm just saying it feels like you are renting this little person for a little bit. Things are so new and you are still learning so much when you get them home that first hour. And even after that there is so much to learn.

Like any rental, make sure you get the insurance. Always get the insurance. On the house, the car- everything. They will eventually be little tornados. It's hard to imagine now, but it's true.

8 Promotion to CEO

You have finally been promoted. You have a minion. Once you have offspring it's an automatic step up in the company. This is how you start a dynasty. It's going to be huge. Huge.

Before you start teaching your little one the proper way to stroke the cat, give an epic maniacal laugh, or wear a power suit remember that you have to start small. They can't possibly catch on to all the subtleties associated with middle management in their first hour. I mean yeah sure, they will probably learn how to sh*t on people pretty fast. No doubt that will serve them well. Don't believe me? Check in with Mr. Trump.

Don't worry you don't have to make douchey kids in order for this to work out. You can teach them to have morals and things. It's going to be a little didn't than the norm, but it has to start somewhere.

7 Dress Rehearsal

You have your own little audience right now. Use it to the best of your advantage. Try out all the new material you can. Don't be afraid to rewrite jokes that fell flat or switch up the order of the jokes. No one said it was going to be easy.

This first hour is prime time time to get the kinks worked out of your routine. If you get a reaction from something in this first hour then you add it into the routine permanently. Put an asterisk by it. If something doesn't get any reaction, bring it back into rotation in a couple weeks once the baby has matured enough.

Try to tickle the corners of the mouth really lightly if you get stuck. This will at least get you a small angelic smile. Is it in response to your routine? I don't know, but does it matter when you see that beautiful grin? It doesn't.

6 Cuddle Palooza

The best festival since Woodstock. The first hour home is the best time to get in some cuddles with this new baby. I bet he or she is plum tuckered out. You also may be a little tuckered out. Why not take a minute and just hug it out as a family. There ain't no party like a cuddlefest party because a cuddle fest party don't stop... for at least an hour. Take a minute and soak up this babyness. I know that not everyone loves the baby stage. I find that very few people don't love a sleeping baby though. It won't be long until you are sleep deprived and have trouble recognizing the person in the mirror. Right now you have a sweet half full tank of energy. That hour can be a fantastic time to get in those cuddles. Not just with mama but get the whole family involved.

5 Body Language Expert Class

You will analyze and watch every twitch, movement and sigh that this baby makes to see if you can discern what they are trying to communicate to you. Was that finger movement a way for her or him to tell you that they love you the most. Sure that was gas, but everyone knows baby only have gas with the ones that they trust most. Hey, that's a good sign that she or he doesn't have their arms crossed. That means that they aren't trying to block you out. That hopefully will last at least until teenage years. This first hour is a perfect time to try out your skills in the field of body language expert to babies. It's pretty difficult to tell if you are wrong, but then again it's pretty difficult for the real ones to know that either. You can get a small jump on trying to learn your baby's signs.

4 Closing Statements

Use this time wisely. It's important to get your arguments in to why you deserve a few extra hours of sleep a night. Why he or she should sleep soundly. This little angel of yours is judge, jury and executioner (of your sleep.) Use this first hour when the baby hasn't decided if they are pleased or displeased with their new space to get them on your side. Give them opening and closing statements. Show them the evidence. Make some graphs about the number of hours you require for sleep. Make some Powerpoint presentations. This is your chance. Don't take a plea deal. You will not accept waking up every 3 hours, you must have a minimum of 5 hours. They are not going to sentence you to hard time of sleepless nights. You need the cooshy 5 hour thing. Prepare and deliver these statements. Please let me know if it works. I mean when, when it works.

3 Therapy Appointment

Two words for you: Free Therapy. You have a built in listener. They can't judge (at least that we know of.) They can listen about everything from your childhood trauma to your first boyfriend to how your current spouse had to hit every pothole on the way home. Take advantage to this free hour. The clock will be ticking for therapy. There is no way you will find this deal ever again. Not even with insurance. You use this to get whatever you can off your chest. Send the spouse to the store for a snack and let that newborn know about everything that is going down.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need to unload. There is no better listener than a newborn. If they start crying you pretend they are sympathizing with you. If they sleep, well that's not the first time someone has fallen asleep during your story.

2 Account Manager

While you have some downtime this first few minutes you may want to calculate the totals that baby is going to cost. You can calculate the diapers, the food, the formula, bath items, the toys, the college costs, the bikes, the roller skates, clothes, the daycare costs and the baby wipes. You can do some research on the costs. Also, don't forget about unexpected injury costs. The first fever, the first cough, the first broken bone, the first stitches, and the first therapy appointment.

This time is probably better spent on cuddle palooza now that I think about. Let's just round up to a billion dollars and move back to the cuddles. Is it interesting to know how much of your income will go out the window? Sure it is, but maybe it's not going to make you feel better about things right now. Who knows? You do you.

1 Dream Come True

There is no telling how long you waited for this beautiful baby to come into your world. There is no telling how long the feeling will last. I mean let's be real this parenting thing has a way of kicking you in the nards sometimes (even if you don't have any.) This is the time to let all the fantasies of perfect parenthood float through your head. They may float through and dance on out of your head as reality sets in. Things don't always go perfectly. Then again there are those times that the heavens smile on us and we nail parenthood. I guess what I'm saying is life is like a box of chocolates... And also some of us are bound to be good parents, right? It's all about that hour of meditation. This hour should prepare you for everything.