My oldest is right at that age where I’m having to start to really step in and keep a super close watch when others are at the park playground. It seems like I quite often need to intervene these days, whether it’s standing between my sweet daughter and the kid waving a sharp stick in her face (while his mother talks obliviously to someone else or stares at her phone) or making sure the big kids don’t Bogart the slide.

And it’s also that time at which even the sweetest little children are (appropriately, yet sometimes infuriatingly) asserting their independence — and testing their limits.

My point is I’m learning firsthand that whether I’m driving in the car, at home with my kids, or out at the park, I quite often have to channel my inner bitch.

It’s how I protect myself. It’s how I protect my child! It’s one of many tools I’m forced to use to have some amount of control over the chaotic life that is parenthood. And mine is particularly chaotic, with two kids younger than three, writing and editing deadlines right and left, and the fact that I still cling to the dream of getting out of the house at least once a day.

Now buckle up, quiet down, and listen to me – do you hear? Because I’m going to tell you 15 reasons chicks have to embrace their bitchiness to be great moms.

15 When Baby's Being Left Out

I’m discovering this firsthand, like every time I leave the house these days to go somewhere that other children are present. Whether it’s a playground, the beach, or even a grocery store or shopping center, there’s usually another toddler there waving something sharp and dangerous around, often near the vicinity of my little girl’s face. And that is not okay.

And the problem is said waver’s parent or guardian is often not likely to intervene to keep my child out of harm’s way. (I wonder how they react when someone’s waving a sharp stick around their kid’s face…) Many times over the last months, as my oldest has been more and more ready to jump in and play with whomever is there, I’ve had to step in front of her to protect her – or even say something to another child or his mom (who is often distracted talking to someone else or staring at her phone). Plus, kids can be bullies!

14 When It's Moms Turn To Come First

If it means a mom has to decline an occasional invite or two, so be it. If it means she has to lay down the law at home to find the time, well then oh well. If a mama has to somehow channel her inner bi-otch to claim the time to get some exercise, well then that’s just the way it has to be.

Is your little love whining (or screaming) to get to go to the park for the second time that day? Well TOO BAD. Because it’s jogging-stroller time for mom – and quite possibly the only chance she gets to get that heart going and blood flowing all day long.

Do you have to force your husband to sacrifice a precious hour of TV to put the kids to bed on his own so you can finally get out to the gym? Go for it.

13 When It's Time To Be A Role Model

Calling someone a bitch is really just a defensive way of saying that a woman is being all sorts of take-charge, right? That she’s putting her own needs first, standing up for herself, and doing it all in a pretty unapologetic way?

Well here’s why I’m occasionally a “bitch” then. I want to be a great role model for my young daughter.

Let me talk you through a real-life scenario, here. A group of some older kids and some other toddlers were hogging the area of the play structure right by the fun, steep slide at the little park by our house. A kid shouted that “no babies!” could come up and slide (a kid with a pacifier in his mouth…), so what did I do? I loudly and clearly explained that the park was for everyone to share and that my daughter could play wherever she wanted.

The other moms (off talking to each other) still did nothing, so I escorted my brave girl up to the top, through the bullies, and down that gloriously steep slide.

And now she knows that it’s okay to stand up for yourself.

12 When She Just Needs Half An Hour

Is it bitchy to suddenly leave the room in a huff, lock yourself away in a private room, and do, well, whatever you damn well please for half an hour or so?

Maybe, depending on the situation, but moms often know firsthand that if we don’t claim at least a little “me time” to feel rested, well, and sane, all is lost.

And this claiming of time may happen in many different ways. Maybe we put our earphones in or headphones on and just start ignoring everyone for a while. Maybe we point in the general direction of the kids as soon as our spouse comes in the door, then grab our keys, and just go…

Whatever it is you need to do to get the alone time you deserve – even if it requires a little ’tude – so be it.

11 When It's Time To Lay Down The Law

We say do what you need to do to feel in control as a parent. A parent who has a sense of control over her life makes for a better mom with happier and healthier kids now and in the future.

If you feel in control and quite bitchily stick to your rigid family routine, your kids will have the structure they need – a comforting thing for kids in this unpredictable, crazy, mixed-up world.

It’s all about attitude, and if you have to be firm, unmovable, and a hard-ass to ensure everyone’s fed, slept, and dressed at the appropriate times, well then that’s the way it has to be.

If you have to say that no, you won’t skip your toddler’s nap time to make your in-law’s day more convenient, then that’s what you have to do, and you hold strong.

10 When It's Time For Some Peace And Quiet

I think anyone is allowed to be a bitch now and then if they spend many days of the week being screamed at on and off by another person – even if that person is very young and very tiny.

Everyone has their limits, and being a bit bitchy is sometimes how we let others know we’ve reached ours. We’ve had enough, and this is where it ends.

The quickest to snap back, complain, and criticize I’ve ever been in my life is after days (and weeks, and months…) of being at home alone with a testy toddler all the livelong day. Throughout my life, I think I’ve been considered somewhat patient, somewhat kind – or at the very least I know I’m someone who at least thinks about the needs and feelings of others.

But even the most angelic of women have a limit – and that’s a good (and natural) thing.

9 When Mom Just Knows Better

Sometimes we have to shift into bitch mode for the simple reason that we’re tired of others telling us that they know the best way for us to do things.

From your MIL criticizing your outfit choice for junior (he’ll be much too cold wearing that!) to the posts your feed is probably flooded with online, there’s a lot of info coming straight at you telling you how you should be parenting, how you should be eating, what you should be doing, and how you should be living your life.

Well F that. If there’s ever been a more suiting time to embrace – or even celebrate – being a bitch, it’s in this scenario. If a bitch is someone who stands up, says she doesn’t give a damn, and does things HER way, then a bitch is someone all moms should aim to be.

8 When It's Time To Draw The Line

Young kids of certain ages are literally doing everything they can to get their moms to be bitches. They need us to be bitches. If we weren’t, all would be lost.

What I’m getting at is that kids are constantly testing their limits; that’s how moms then firmly (bitchily, as required) establish what those limits are.

It’s how we keep them safe and alive, at the most basic level. It’s how we teach them social graces and life skills, the better to navigate this world and its people.

When we say no, disallow a certain behavior or activity, or somehow draw a line, we’re being the best moms that we could possibly be.

When moms get an occasional angry “I hate you!” (or, for those with smaller kids, “You’re a stinky butt!), they know they’re doing something right.

7 For Self-Preservation

Yes, I’ve claimed many brave and noble causes for acting bitchy within this article, such as protecting my children, establishing healthy boundaries, and teaching them wrong from right. But here’s where I get real basic with it. Sometimes I and other moms have to be bitches simply to protect ourselves.

The other day I was at story time at my local library, and a toddler boy wedged himself squirmily between my daughter and I on the Very Hungry Caterpillar rug and started mindlessly kicking his foot back and forth – into my leg… while I was trying to breastfeed my baby. A quiet, “Oops… Excuse me…” didn’t do the trick. A firm tap on the shoulder did nothing. Shoving my hand out forcefully to block my quickly bruising thigh was useless.

An intense stare in the direction of the parents sitting in the chairs right behind him? That seemed to do the trick.

6 When There's Just No Time

What requires mom bitchiness most commonly of all? That we quite frankly don’t always have the time to be nice.

Now please don’t use this as an excuse to treat others poorly, always put your own schedule first, or drive like an asshole.

But sometimes, if you need to be a little less like “no, please, you go ahead” and little more “Oh, hell no – I was here first,” well then go right ahead. It’s called standing up for yourself. It’s called getting shit done.

Whether or not I made it out of the grocery store four minutes earlier or later didn’t used to matter much to me pre-kids, but once I had a baby, I found myself for the first time saying, “Hey, I was here first,” to a guilty-faced line cutter – and you better believe I didn’t feel bad about it. (Plus, who cuts in front of a new mom with a baby in tow??)

5 When No One Is Listening

Women are supposed to be kind, gentle, and demure, right? WRONG. And sometimes we have to be what some would call bitchy just to get people to listen to us – just so that someone will take us seriously.

In social situations and at the workplace, alike, we may sometimes surprise people when we stand firm, speak our minds, and boldy (or even bitchily) defend ourselves. But you know what? I think everyone deserves to be listened to, to be taken seriously. If saying something with some attitude, firing back with a quick comment, or getting a little loud does the trick, then great. Grand.

Just because we sometimes have quieter voices and smaller statures than the other gender, it doesn’t mean we deserve to be ignored or walked all over. We’ll do what we need to do to get kids, family, and others to listen.

4 Because It Needs To Be Done Right

Would you rather be unfailingly kind, giving, and gentle – or live your life doing things your way?

A great reason to be a bit bitchy at times is because moms only get one chance to do this whole mom thing, and that means only one chance to take charge and do it the way they feel is right for them.

Embracing this might mean something different for every mom. Perhaps it’s absolutely refusing to run another school fundraiser – because it’s just not worth your time, and it’s someone else’s turn, goddamnit. Maybe it’s deciding you’re not going to pretend to like someone just because your children happen to be friends. There’s only so much time in a day, and you’d rather spend it with someone you can actually stand to be around.

But whatever it is, it’s letting the world know that you have no fear when it comes to making a decision and asserting it, politeness be darned.

3 Because We Can

Sure, there are many environmental and cultural factors that influence our behavior. But we think a top reason to get a little “bitchy” sometimes might just be because we can.

We don’t have to pretend to be anything we’re not. We don’t have to act like we care about something when we don’t!

So how about that? Why should women embrace a little “bad” behavior when it comes to being moms? Because who’s gonna stop them?

The fewer limits we try to confine ourselves within, the more honestly, perhaps, we are able to live.

I’m thankful that the expected code of conduct for women – for people in general – is something more and more open and flexible and beautifully, gloriously free.

It’s your life, and it is what you make of it.

2 Because Of America Online

You know that thing that happens – and you’ll see it anytime you dare to venture into a “Public” comments section on Facebook or a non-private Instagram account – where the minute a human gets behind a keyboard, they can easily become a bully, an idiot, disrespectful, and insensitive to the extreme?

Well this is just one more reason moms may find themselves having to dish it right back – or at least quite sassily defend themselves from such cyber attackers.

Online bulliers seem to be everywhere these days, and with mom shaming and harsh judgment abounding, some moms make the decision that if they didn’t speak up and get a little bitchy right back in haters’ faces, it simply wouldn’t be fair.

With much of our lives – including our parenting – on display on the Internet, judgment can seem constant and everywhere.

1 Because It's A Lonely Journey

Some of us have close friends and family to get us through rough patches. Many of us have spouses or partners to share the nittiest and grittiest details of our struggles with.

But in the end, we all sort of walk this path of life alone. We’re the only ones we can completely, without fail, rely on – and that’s why we sometimes need to get a little bitchy, either to take charge of the situation or just to get through the day.

Yep, it’s all on us. And often, it quite literally is – with a mom responsible for making sure her children survive and thrive and get where they need to go and do what they need to do each and every day.

So we do what we need to do, we act how we need to act, and we don’t get too caught up in behaving how we’re “supposed” to.

Sources: YouTube.com, Instagram