The mother community is sick and tired of hearing many things. From shaming one style of parenting to celebrating another, it is easy to wonder just when exactly did parenting become some type of competition. Between defending choices and justifying strategies, the parenting game is a tiring one.

However, what it all really comes down to is doing what feels right for individual circumstances and individual personalities. What worked well for someone can be a total disaster for someone else if the context is different. So it is no wonder that many moms around the world just want to calmly punch someone in the face when they are forced to defend or explain themselves.

This can stem from unwarranted advice, judgemental conversations, or stereotypes which emerge about moms. What it all comes down to at the end of it all is that someone else thinks they have the right to comment or assume something about what a mom is doing.

Which they don’t.

Because who was it that pushed the baby out of their vagina?

The mom. So let them do what they gotta do.

This relates a lot to breastfeeding. Currently there seems to be an online social media debate about whether or not breastfeeding is right. There seems to be new evidence cropping up each day saying it's wrong and harmful, whereas there are arguments defending natural instincts and evolution.

So what is right or wrong? Um, the choice that the mom makes for her baby. Yeah, that one. So stop making breastfeeding moms hear these annoying things!

15 “The Girls Will Never Be The Same”

So here is the thing about pregnancy. It involves a whole lot of hormones and bodily changes. Many of these changes target the breast region. In fact, the breasts are one of the first things that start changing from the point of conception, hence the tenderness which often triggers women to think they may be pregnant.

Now, whether a woman breastfeeds or not, the breasts are never going to be the same. Sure, breastfeeding does have a different impact on them than just pregnancy alone, but whatever happens from that moment of fertilization, those girls are never going to go back to what they once were. And why should they?

Appropriate response: “my breasts have never been the same since puberty.”

14 “The Milk Isn’t Nutritional After 12 Months”

For some crazy reason, the World Health Organization recognises and recommends breastfeeding as appropriate and sustainable up to the age of two. This may just be because breastmilk actually never loses its nutritional value, no matter how old it gets. As long as the girls are still pumping away, nutrients are being created in the those round, watermelons on the chest.

If you choose to continue breastfeeding a toddler, there is nothing wrong with that. You are still providing them with adequate nutrients and proteins, in addition to solid foods. This doesn’t deserve judgement or misinformed knowledge. In fact, many women continue breastfeeding until their child is ready to self-wean, and sometimes this happens at age two or two and a half.

Appropriate response: “still more nutrients than a chocolate bar, right?”

13 “I Still Bonded Fine With My Child”

Well, that is good for any woman who finds a way to connect and bond with a child. Mother’s love and instinct is incredibly powerful, which is why the bond is so very binding and emotive. For many, the hours spent breastfeeding a child is a beautiful way to bond. For others, time spent cuddling and reading together is another way to bond. Some women forge a bond by singing, cooking, playing music, or whatever else they want to do around their baby.

One way that one mom forges a bond isn’t the right way or the only way. It is a great way that helped her bond with her baby, but it is essentially irrelevant to anyone else. Sure, it makes for a good conversation pointer, each mom talking about ways they bonded with their babies. But you don’t need to judge, or be judged, if breastfeeding was part of that bond. Nobody needs that.

Appropriate response: “how did you and your baby bond, then?”

12 “Breastfeeding Is Great, BUT…”

Ugh, there’s always a but. Why does there have to be a but. Why can’t we just acknowledge that ‘hey, that’s great that it's working out for you guys’ and leave it at that. Why must there be a following up statement to obnoxiously discredit the initial statement.

It’s like when people say ‘I’m not racist, but…’ or ‘I’d like to be vegetarian, but…’ and you just know that they’re going to follow it up with something mildly ignorant or offensive. If there is a but, then you probably don’t like the action. If you don’t like breastfeeding, then don’t comment on it or open a conversation about it. Everyone is better off this way.

Appropriate response: “I’d love to listen that explanation, but I have to go breastfeed my child.”

11 Doomed If You Pump, Doomed If You Don’t

Why must parenting, and breastfeeding in particular, be a lose-lose scenario. It seems that if a mom does too much exercise after giving birth, she’s being selfish, but if she doesn’t do enough exercise, she’s not caring for her body. If a mom buys all the latest baby gadgets and clothes, she’s overindulgent and excessive, but if she buys things second hand she becomes stingy. It is a never ending cycle!

So for breastfeeding, if you do do it and you don’t pump, that is totally irresponsible and unsafe. However, if you do pump, then isn’t that just defeating the purpose of breastfeeding? Why should you need to pump anyway, shouldn’t your body only be producing the milk in a demand and supply fashion. Oh, the myriad of the pumping dramas.

Appropriate response: “milk is milk, whether in boob or tube.”

10 “When Are You Going To Start Him On Solids”

When, when when… that is the problem with parenting these days, why can’t we just enjoy the now? It seems that in this constantly fast paced, goal setting society, it hard to focus on and appreciate what is happening in the present moment. This is especially true for pregnancy and motherhood.

New moms are constantly inundated with questions from the moment they announce they are pregnant. When are you going to choose a name? When are you going to set up the nursery? When are you going to choose a school? Wow, has the baby even been born yet?!

With breastfeeding, the best time to start a baby on solids is when they are ready. Plain and simple! Most babies will start showing signs that they are ready. Generally, a mother’s instinct knows the time is right, and it is no one else’s business!

Appropriate response: “maybe when he writes a handwritten petition of complaint against my breast milk.”

9 The Breastfeeding While Pregnant Debacle

Some women are suckers for punishment and while they’re raising a toddler they get pregnant with another one. They do say that two means twice the fun, but they also say double trouble!

Biologically, there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding while pregnant with the next. Socially, some people seem to have issues with it. The best age gap to leave between kids is 18 months. At 18 months up to 24 months old, the first baby may still be requiring breast milk in addition to some solid foods.

This is fine for the body, but may entice some judgemental stares and comments from other women if you are visibly pregnant. What the world should really be seeing is an amazing woman sacrificing her body in two ways at a time to give life to her children!

8 “You Breastfeed In Public?!”

Is it appropriate, or is not? It is unsanitary, or it not? Is it worth the judgement of other people, or is it not? Where is it ok to breastfeed, where is it not?

Perhaps the real, and most important, question should be, ‘does my baby need food?’

Honestly, breastfeeding in public is a very personal and individual thing for women. Some women are just more confident with their body and exposure than others. For instance, some women are fine with getting changed in a public changement and having it all hang loose. Others want their privacy. Some women love getting butt-naked and taking a photo in the wild nature. Others say ‘hell no’ to that idea.

The same goes for breastfeeding. If you feel comfortable doing it, do it. If you don’t, get some privacy.

7 “The Baby Will Be Spoiled If You Feed On Demand”

Ah, the dilemma between feeding a crying baby in need of nutrients and spoiling a baby by feeding on demand. There comes a time in every mom’s life when she can distinguish between the different cries that her baby throws at her. Whether it is a sickly cry, a temper tantrum, or an attention seeking one, she can tell. So she can tell when it is a cry of hunger.

How can she tell? Well, some things can’t be explained by science, rather just by mother’s instinct. There is something about the bond that starts in the womb and is cemented with that first eye to eye and skin to skin contact after birth. This connection is hard to understand, unless you are part of it. If you aren’t part of it, don’t judge.

Appropriate response: “better spoiled than starving!”

6 “Have You Considered The Benefits Of Formula”

Granted, there are a range of benefits to using formula to supplement a baby’s diet. In many cases, formula will be recommended or encouraged by health care professionals if the baby isn’t getting enough nutrients. This can happen when mom isn’t producing enough milk or the baby is having trouble suckling on the teat. There are circumstances yes, which when arise, women will consider the benefits of formula.

However, have you considered how inappropriate or insensitive this question is? If you don’t know someone’s medical background or understand the problems they may be going through with breastfeeding, it can be really hurtful to ask such prying questions. Unless it is a close friend or relative expressing concern, this question has the potential to make women question themselves and their choices as mothers.

Appropriate response: “have you considered the benefits of staying out of my breast milk?”

5 The Endless Debate Between Breastfeeding And Not

Many of these debates center around the opinions on whether formula is better or not. Sure, formula is manufactured and chemically produced to replicate the nutrients and proteins that breast milk nourishes the baby with. So technically, yes, it is just as good as breastfeeding. Even better, it doesn’t cause the body any stress.

But, wait a minute. Doesn’t the fact that it is manufactured in a lab raise a giant red flag? Why are we relying on something that science made when the body is making it naturally. Why is that even necessary, unless there is a malnutrition or illness involved.

The boobs are making the milk anyway. If the baby wants to drink it, what is wrong with that? Why are we even debating this, in the 21st century?

4 “Does It Hurt?!”

Ten points and a high five to the person who finds something associated with pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood that doesn’t hurt just a little. Anyone got it? It’s like trying to pinpoint a needle in a haystack, isn’t it?

Of course breastfeeding can hurt. Some days it might hurt more than others. Some days you might not even notice the baby draining the milk out. There are times when the breasts are so filled with milk that they ache and feel tender. Some days the unexpected leakage can cause a twang of pain. These are all just parts of the pain that come with motherhood. Odds are, if you decided to become a mother, you also decided to suck these pains up and get on it with.

Appropriate response: “not as much as these questions hurt.”

3 "Omg They're Leaking!"

Wearing a white shirt while breastfeeding becomes a big old no-no. In fact, any light colours can be saved for better days when there is no more milk in the breasts. Much like avoiding certain colours to avoid those unsightly sweat marks in the summer, there are some shirts that are more susceptible to noticeable leaks of breast milk.

However, if the leaks do happen, so what. Laugh about it and make a mental note to always keep a spare top in your bag or praise your former self for bringing a cardigan that day. It is no big deal, really. So why do some people act like it is the most disturbing and gross thing in the world? For starters, they’ve clearly forgotten that they were once nourished and raised off someone else’s leaky boobs!

2 "Have You Tried It?!"

There are some things that new moms do that seem a little unconventional to people who aren’t in the new mom circle. Sometimes, there are innocent questions from people outside this circle based on sheer curiosity and wonderment for what happens in the life of a mom. Other times, these questions are just weird and unnecessary. This one about trying the breast milk can go either way, in all honesty.

Sometimes, moms won’t mind being asked about this. Sometimes, moms try their own breast milk and are happy to share the description with others. Other moms wouldn’t even think about trying it. To each their own, really. Often, it is out of necessity to try the milk. If the milk has been pumped and warmed up in a bottle, ensuring it is at the right temperature for the baby is best decided by tasting it yourself.

1 “You Might Be Poisoning The Baby!”

Ah yes, the latest argument to arise in the debate of breastfeeding VS not breastfeeding. There have been many claims recently that breastmilk is in fact dangerous because it possesses many toxic chemicals that are passed onto the baby via feeding. Now, no one ever said that breast milk is perfect, but toxic? Maybe not.

Basically, this argument has only one real backing and is evidenced on a single study by a professor named Philippe Grandjean. The argument is there, but there is so little evidence to support the claim. Unfortunately, social media doesn’t need science to go into overdrive. So despite the World Health Organisation, the CDC, and the American Academy of Paediatrics supporting breastfeeding until at least 6 months of age, one uninformed study had the ability to go viral and spread panic over the internet. Do your research before jumping on board this assumption!

Appropriate response: “the planet is poisoning us all.”

Sources: Forbes.com, Popsugar.com, Bellybelly.com