Being pregnant is a joy and a blessing, but it also comes with erratic hormones, tons of weight gain, and a list of reasons to be uncomfortable that can leave pregnant ladies feeling a bit on edge. That’s normal, and unfortunately the comments and actions of others don’t always help us make it through this delicate time of life sane.
Pregnant women may find they get upset about issues that seem small to other people but don’t feel small to them. Questions sound loaded, and everyone in the world thinking they can invade our private space is infuriating. Plus, people feel free to comment on the size of pregnant women, how many children they already have, and to give them parenting advice. Sometimes the remarks come from family and friends, but they are just as likely to come from complete strangers who have no right to even ask questions.
If there is a silver lining to any of the anger a woman feels while pregnant, it’s that she knows what not to say and do to the pregnant women in her life. Living through the rude comments and snide remarks leaves us knowing we never want to be those people.
While mom is still surviving pregnancy and all that comes with it, she can know that many other women are in it with her and equally pissed off about the issues on this list. Solidarity is important, and most pregnant women agree that the following offenses can cause rage.
15 Belly Touching
Women’s bellies often become public domain when they become pregnant, but that’s not actually okay. Personal space is personal space, and even if mom’s body takes up more space, it doesn’t give people the right to touch it without permission. Friends, family, or strangers all need to ask before rubbing the baby belly and understand that no is a real answer they may receive.
Pregnancy means tons of probing and being touched and measured, so mom may already feel a bit overstimulated by all the extra touching her body endures. For women who already weren’t crazy about having their personal space violated, people reaching out to touch bellies is even harder.
14 The Question “Still Pregnant?”
Believe it or not, women don’t usually just drop the baby out of their bodies without knowing it. We also don’t still carry around a large baby bump if the baby is not in there any longer. That’s why we are totally confused when people ask, “Are you still pregnant?” Obviously.
This is usually a way to imply that a woman shouldn’t still be pregnant because her due date has passed. Some people are more concerned about when we birth than we are, and it’s obnoxious. This question also implies we look like we’re going to pop, so how can we still be pregnant? Women grow at different rates, and moms who carry multiples are going to look like they are ready to bust before the due date. Since every woman is different, it’s safe to just assume they are pregnant if they look pregnant and are not holding a newborn.
13 Job Interview Questions That Reference Pregnancy
Technically, employers are not supposed to be able to ask a woman if she is planning on becoming pregnant or if she is pregnant during a hiring interview. That doesn’t keep employers from getting creative about the way they phrase questions, though.
Some women are asked if they would want to come back to work after a baby’s born, implying they wouldn’t be a good investment if the answer is no. Other companies sometimes seem to discriminate based on a woman’s stage of life, assuming if she is in her child-bearing years and married she’s probably not going to be a long-term hire.
Women can have careers while raising children, and employers shouldn’t discriminate based on a woman’s pregnancy. However, a good rule for women is to read up on a company’s maternity leave policy if mom knows she will need it. Some employers don’t allow paid leave to take place until employees have worked for the company for a certain amount of time.
12 Having Birth Treated Like an Assembly Line
There are some great OBs and midwives out there, but there are also some who treat birth like an assembly line event that doesn’t need to change for each individual person. This is unfair and can be dangerous depending on a woman’s situation.
Doctors who demand every patient they have be induced by a certain date or who refuse to read and follow individual birth plans are bad news. Every woman is different, and the needs and desires of every mom-to-be need to be considered. Doctors and midwives should be willing to take questions and give specific answers to mom’s concerns. Telling a woman she has to do something a certain way because that’s just how things are done is not acceptable.
11 Our Husbands Sleeping
The rhythmic sound of our significant others snoring may have been a slight annoyance in the past. When we hit the third trimester where no position is comfortable and we have to get up to pee every five minutes anyway, the sound of the snores suddenly cause rage.
Men may sympathize with us as we suffer through some of the more uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, but that sympathy only goes so far. In reality, they still get to go to sleep at night, rest comfortably, and wake up the next day able to see their feet. Though we love them and wouldn’t wish for them to be as uncomfortable as we are, it can be infuriating to watch them rest so peacefully while we struggle.
There’s not much to be done about this situation except to remind dad that since he is getting so much sleep before the baby arrives, he should be nice and refreshed when the kid actually shows up. That means he can be an equal partner when the baby wakes up the whole household every two hours.
10 Parenting Advice
Being pregnant is like wearing a sign that says, “Tell me all your thoughts!” Random strangers, mommy friends, and people who don’t even have kids will start doling out advice the minute they know we have a bun in the oven.
Advice may be about what to do while pregnant, what to do while in labor, or how to raise the child once he or she arrives. It’s often well-meaning, but any seasoned mom can attest to the fact that parenting advice is almost never welcomed, and it’s hard when it starts before the baby even arrives.
Most women learn to politely nod and smile, but it’s fine to say, “Thanks for the thoughts but we’re not really far enough down the road to think about all of this yet.” Because receiving advice from people whose advice we’d never seek is so annoying, kindly shutting them up before we get upset is fine.
9 Being Asked How Far Along We Are
This question in itself is not evil. Many people ask a woman how far along she is so they can figure out when the baby is due or ask questions about the specific trimester she is in. These questions, like most questions, are much more welcome from people we know than strangers, but moms know they aren’t usually meant to be intrusive no matter who they come from.
The problem is when we answer this question and the response is something to the effect of, “Wow, you’re huge!” or “How are you going to carry that kid much longer?” These are never appropriate responses to any information a pregnant woman offers. Never.
Some women also don’t love this question because people start trying to calculate their due dates. For women hoping to avoid inductions, due dates are usually just an estimate, and they don’t want to have to deal with people asking them why the baby isn’t here if they go overdue. There’s nothing like passing the due date, being hugely uncomfortable, and having people ask where the baby is as if it’s not obvious.
8 People Assuming We Will Be Done After This One
Moms who have more than one child and dare to venture out while pregnant will find that everyone in the world is concerned about their growing family situation. People will ask mom if this is her last pregnancy or if she is trying to give birth to a football team. Though how many children we have doesn’t affect anyone else’s life, strangers on the street sometimes act like it does.
Many women don’t know if they are going to have more kids, so it’s awkward to be put on the spot about it. Even if they do know whether or not this pregnancy will be their last, it’s not really anyone else’s business.
Women with large families are specifically targeted for questions like this. Everyone wants to know when the end point is or if this woman and her partner are trying to rival the Duggars for most children. Again, it’s nobody’s business, but it is infuriating.
7 Breast Milk Or Formula Debate
Before the baby is even born, most women become aware of the fact that there has been an ongoing mommy war for years that revolves around parents making different choices for their children. It’s ridiculous, and one of the biggest issues it centers around is how a child is fed.
Breast milk has been studied and found to be the best choice for a baby’s body, so if mom can and wants to breastfeed, it’s a good idea. However, if she chooses not to or finds she isn’t capable, there is no shame in that. The problem is when people start asking her before the baby is even born if she is using breast or bottle.
6 Scary Birth Stories
There’s something about seeing a pregnant woman that tends to make moms who have already been through birth think it’s a good time to tell the scariest, strangest birthing story in the world. And of course they have to tell it to the pregnant lady, just so she’ll know every scary thing that could happen.
This is horrifying for pregnant women, and it’s also infuriating. Verbal vomit around women who are trying to grow people in their bodies should be controlled, and there’s no reason for someone to tell a pregnant woman about how they almost died during labor or how it was the worst pain of their lives.
5 Celebrity Post-Birth Pictures
All of those celebrities in skinny jeans one week after giving birth are doing a disservice to moms around the world. That is not reality. All a fit celebrity proves by bouncing back quickly is that they have a chef, a trainer, and someone to watch the baby while they work out. Most of us aren’t accustomed to those luxuries.
There are women who bounce back faster than others, but recovering from childbirth is not a competition and everyone has unique circumstances. Since it takes nine months to grow a baby, taking the weight off isn’t going to happen in a week.
Luckily, many celebrities like Chrissy Tiegen are more than happy to admit that all of the help celebrities have is the only reason most of them look the way they do. They don’t encourage women to try to recover quickly, and they’re happy to lift the veil on the post-baby celebrity body to reveal the truth of why it’s possible.
4 Maternity Leave Laws
There are some amazing countries with great maternity leave plans, such as Denmark, a country that consistently ranks high when it comes to the happiness of those who live there. However, other countries offer mothers close to nothing when it comes to paid maternity leave. Unless mom’s employer offers a sweet maternity leave package, women in certain places, even developed countries, can find themselves struggling to find a way to stay home and bond with their babies while still paying the bills.
Even though this is a problem and research points to time for attachment as a major plus for both mom and baby, many countries won’t prioritize the issue and allocate funds to help lighten mom’s load. It’s infuriating to have to fight for time to recover from bringing a person into the world, and many moms fear losing their jobs if they request extra time off to bond with their children.
It may seem like a small complaint, but trying to shave while pregnant has caused many women to feel rage. It’s difficult to even see our feet towards the end of pregnancy, so taking a chance at running a razor across our legs is petrifying. Even thinking about trying to groom our lady bits can bring on an anxiety attack.
It’s perfectly fine to not shave while pregnant, but many women want to go into labor feeling somewhat groomed. Because of this, they will sometimes have their significant others shave them so they don’t hurt themselves trying.
Other rage inducing experiences caused by hormones and big bellies include putting on socks and trying to pick up anything we drop on the floor. Basically, if we have to navigate around or over our stomachs to make it happen, it can make us angry. This is especially true towards the very end of pregnancy.
2 Being Told She’s Hormonal
It is a very bad idea to tell a pregnant woman that she is overreacting or being hormonal. While it’s true that hormones rage when mom is carrying a child, that doesn’t mean hormones are the sole reasons she gets upset. Any of the other problems on this list can set her off, no hormones required.
Assuming a woman’s hormones are the only reason she is acting a certain way excuses everyone else in the world from being blamed for their bad behavior. That’s not fair since women often have very legitimate reasons to be annoyed while pregnant. Plus, if a woman is overreacting due to hormones, telling her that is absolutely not going to help in the moment. Later when she is feeling somewhat normal again, that conversation might be able to take place, but definitely not in the moment.
1 Being Asked About Her Marital Status
Sometimes children are born into a family where mom and dad are married, and sometimes things are much more complicated. No matter what, that is really no one’s business but mom. However, when strangers see that a pregnant woman isn’t wearing a wedding ring, they may have the nerve to ask if she is a single mom.
There’s nothing wrong with being a single mom, but pregnant women do not have to offer their dating history to every person who feels like asking. Acquaintances don’t have to receive the dirty details if mom doesn’t feel like sharing them. Even actress January Jones refused to name the father of her child, no matter how much she was pressured to. It just wasn’t anyone’s business, and Jones knew that.
No matter what the relationship status is, mom has the right to offer an “it’s none of your business” and move on.
Sources: Huffingtonpost.com, Parenting.com, Scarymommy.com, Owletcar.com