In today’s society, women are used to apologizing. Though they’re doing their best to change that, most of them do still have a natural tendency to apologize for merely existing. Pregnancy is no exception to that. In fact, for some women, pregnancy becomes a time where their knee-jerk reaction to apologize for everything goes into overdrive, even if it doesn’t make much sense.
Maybe it’s the extra space they feel they’re taking up, or the ever-increasing list of demands they need to make just to stay comfortable, but it just seems appropriate to apologize in advance during those nine long months for their strange behaviors. It’s hard not to feel like a nuisance when the world suddenly revolves around them and their needs (hey, it’s nice, but it can be a little guilt-inducing).
They end up needing to apologize to nearly everyone we come into contact with. Their spouses, their co-workers, their pets, definitely their in-laws, and sometimes strangers on the street. They apologize to people who deserve it, and probably lots of people who don’t.
And here pregnant women thought the guilt and apologizing would wait until after birth to begin, when they’re stuck justifying all their parenting decisions and saying sorry to avoid the mommy-shaming. Well, it turns out it starts much earlier, and here’s a list of things you might find yourself apologizing for too the next time you’re expecting.
15 Not Helping Around The House.
Pregnancy is when you’re supposed to kick back and relax, right? After all, your body is hard at work growing a tiny baby from scratch, and that takes a toll on a woman’s body both mentally and physically. You’ve earned those lengthy naps on the couch, but it doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilty.
It doesn’t take long before you’re apologizing to your husband for the fact you’re on your third nap of the day, and it’s tough to explain that finding the energy to get off the couch and waddle to the bathroom five times an hour is hard enough.
Though it seems like watching your husband play Mr. Mom and deep clean the house every weekend would be somewhat pleasurable, you can only take so much before feeling like a lazy teenager refusing to do her chores. Then again, thinking of all the late-night nursing you’ll be doing while he snoozes fitfully after the baby comes definitely helps ease some of that guilt.
14 All Plans Revolving Around Incessant Bladder Needs
This one applies to pretty much everyone who’s lucky enough to spend time in your presence while you’re pregnant. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, the bathroom trips are frequent. In early pregnancy, it’s mostly the fault of your growing uterus putting pressure onto your bladder before it’s grown enough to move out of the way, and in later pregnancy, your growing baby will help by constantly giving it sharp, little kicks whenever it’s full. No matter what the reason though, you will constantly be interrupting everything by needing to find the nearest bathroom.
On a road trip with your gal-pals? Get used to saying, “Sorry, can we make another stop?” as you pass every gas station. In a meeting with your boss? Hope she understands when you have to interrupt with, “Sorry, can you just excuse me for a sec?” for the third time and waddle to the ladies room. And in the middle of the night, you’ll find yourself whispering, “Sorry,” to your pets and spouse as you gingerly shove them off of you to get up to pee yet again.
13 Sleeping All The Time
We already talked about napping while your husband or partner keeps the household running, but be prepared to apologize for the sheer amount of napping you’ll be doing around the clock. An ideal day of following your actual body cues would consist of literally nothing but sleeping all day with incremental breaks of eating.
You’ll end up having to apologize to your employer when you sleep right through your alarm, to your husband when he wants one-on-one time but you can’t keep your eyes open, and to your friends when you can’t stay up late enough to make your 8 pm dinner reservations, among other things. The exhaustion is no joke, and since you won’t have the energy to explain its severity, you’ll find yourself just opting to apologize instead.
If you get lucky, the exhaustion will come and go and give you brief reprieves when you’re actually full of energy. Take advantage of the second trimester, for example, when you might find yourself able to skip that post-work nap to do any of the million things you’d been intending to do before you became Sleeping Beauty.
Ah, cravings. The most stereotypical pregnancy symptom there is. It’s classic, it’s predictable, so you might wonder why on earth you might find yourself apologizing for such a thing.
Well, the first time you wake up at 2 am with a *need* for chocolate ice cream and pickles so strong that you find yourself waking up your husband to send him to the store, you’ll understand where the apologies come into play. You might even find yourself tempted to swipe that sandwich half your co-worker left in the office fridge when your craving for salami and cheese gets so strong you can no longer concentrate (though, in that case, I recommend slapping a “Sorry!” Post-It on his empty lunch bag and disguising your handwriting).
If there’s food around (or even when there isn’t), and one of those pregnancy cravings sets in, you’ll stop at nothing to get it, which might require dropping an apology here and there before you lose all your friends to your incessant food demands.
11 When You Can’t Talk About Anything But Pregnancy
You know it’s obnoxious, but somehow you just can’t help it — your favorite subjects are all things pregnancy and baby, and unless all your friends are expecting or already moms themselves, the subject will eventually get old.
Soon enough, you’ll find yourself apologizing for dragging your friends down the stroller aisle of Target *yet again* to check out the one you’ve chosen just one more time before you add it to your registry. Or, for bringing up your various fears around tearing during labor over brunch. You might even feel the need to eventually apologize to your poor partner, who wishes you could still have diverse conversations like you used to — remember the days where your scope of interests stretched beyond whether or not to use cloth diapers?
It’ll take practice and awareness to refocus yourself back in the real world. And who could blame you? What you’re going through is life changing and all-encompassing. It’s no surprise that talking about everything you’re experiencing is so prevalent in all of your conversations. Just remember to take a breather once in awhile and let Stacy tell you about her latest hook-up without interrupting with a random fact about nipple cream.
10 Horrific Gas
No one’s fooled into thinking that pregnancy is completely glamorous. But who knew that thanks to the extra-slow pace of your digestive system while pregnant, something truly funky happens to your body. Gas and burping become a frequent occurrence, and it becomes increasingly harder to be even remotely lady-like about it.
Get used to apologizing (or at the very least, excusing yourself) for all your gaseous interruptions. But beyond that, be prepared that you might clear some rooms with the toxic scent you start producing. You may even take pride in the way you can make a grown man’s eyes water, but you’ll probably still want to say sorry.
Eating the right foods can help keep this at bay, but even the daintiest and most feminine of pregnant women aren’t immune to some truly impressive flatulence. Embrace it and maybe just remember to open a window.
9 The Weight
Even though it’s your baby and your body, you might find yourself harboring some guilt over your added pounds. This tends to come from the pressure to look like society’s picture-perfect example of a pregnant woman (which, spoiler alert, doesn’t actually exist), and you may find yourself feeling apologetic for your ever-expanding body.
Whether it’s apologizing (needlessly!) to your partner for how quickly you may not recognize yourself, or apologizing silently to your bank account as you buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate your changing body, the guilt may be strong. However, that doesn’t make it rational.
You should never have to apologize for your body or for the space you take up. So even if your natural inclination is to apologize and feel guilty for gaining more than you should or for other parts of your body rounding out along with your belly — don’t.
8 Food Choices
Cravings aren’t the only food-related thing you’ll find yourself inclined to apologize for. At some point, you’ll start accidentally dictating what everyone else is eating, too.
Like it or not, a lot of decisions revolve around keeping the pregnant one in the group happy. Choosing where, when, and what to eat is no exception. If the “Prego” wants pizza, pizza it is. If she wants to eat dinner even though it’s only 3 pm, that’s what’s gonna happen. And if she’s hungry an hour later, guess who’s swinging through Taco Bell if that’s what she wants?
So you may find yourself with an urge to apologize over food often. Even though most of your friends will just roll with the punches for things like this, you may still want to toss out the occasional apology for becoming the almighty food dictator. Although, you can remind them that this, too, shall pass.
7 Pregnancy Brain.
Pregnancy Brain, also called “Momnesia” is real. Sort of. According to WebMD, your brain doesn’t actually *change* at all during pregnancy, but many women do find themselves being extra forgetful and distracted.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, but do be prepared to hone those apologizing skills in this department. At work, you might miss deadlines or lose entire hours to just spacing out. At home, you might totally forget to pick up milk on your way home, or about that hair appointment you scheduled. Your partner may have to remind you more than once about a conversation you had, even if you have no recollection. It’s common and, unfortunately, frequent to become a bit of a space case while you’re expecting.
Hopefully you’ll be forgiven for your memory lapses, but making tons of lists or setting reminders in your phone may help. Even if people expect a little distraction during pregnancy, it’ll feel good to prove to them you’ve still got your head screwed on tight (enough, anyway).
6 Doing IT Less
This will differ from couple to couple and person to person, but some women just aren’t up for a ton of sex during pregnancy, even if they previously couldn’t get enough. For most women, their libidos don’t stay consistent, either. Hormones might make you feel super frisky one week, and repulsed by the idea of physical intimacy the next.
Your partner might feel confused or even a bit deflated, and you might find yourself apologizing for your lack of sex drive, or merely for the way it changes with the wind. Any decent lover will certainly be supportive or understanding, but you still may feel a bit guilty for something you have no control over.
If you’re up for it, try staying intimate in other ways — physical touch is important to stay connected to each other, even if it’s just some hand holding or cuddling. Hugs can give you that Oxytocin-boost you might be looking for too, and you can even keep your clothes on.
5 Hormonal Outbursts
Apologizing for your mood swings might become straight-up necessary. Between snapping at your husband because he ate the 3-month-old Hot Pocket in the freezer that you suddenly decided you *needed* to have at 1am, to sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of a work meeting, you might start to feel like the baby you’re carrying is playing puppet master with your emotions.
Unfortunately, there’s little you can do to combat these insane outbursts, since you often won’t even recognize what’s happening until it’s too late. Only after fifteen minutes of arguing with your partner over the kind of coffee creamer they picked out at the grocery store will you realize that you’re not exactly acting like yourself and there might be some hormones calling the shots here.
Being able to laugh at yourself along the way will help, though. Hang on tight for the emotional rollercoaster ride of your life, and just pepper some “Sorry”s here and there so you don’t alienate all your friends with your 9-month-long PMS symptoms.
4 Not Feeling Well
Pregnancy very well might turn you into “Queen of Cancellations.” The further your pregnancy progresses, the worse you might feel, which might affect your ability to follow through with plans or even get through normal day-to-day tasks.
Your back will hurt, your belly will feel increasingly heavier, and that first trimester nausea might make return appearances here and there. You might not get around to making dinner as promised, or have to cut a leisurely walk with your girlfriends short, among other things. Try as you might to make true on your word, sometimes your pregnant body will have other plans, and you’ll find yourself apologizing for needing to go home and crawl back into bed yet again.
Most people around you will understand that pregnancy is a time when you’ll end up being ruled by that growing baby in your belly. Even with the best of intentions, when symptoms hit, you’ll probably be at their mercy and have to reschedule fun for a later date.
3 Being In Charge Of The Sleeping Arrangements.
If you live with your partner during pregnancy, you might want to apologize in advance as soon as you know you’re expecting, because as quickly as your quality of sleep is about to take a turn for the worst, so is the sleep for whomever is lucky enough to share your bed.
Whether you’ve splurged on one of the huge and infamous pregnancy pillows or DIY-ed your own sleeping fortress made of 6 of your best and favorite pillows, you’re likely to be taking up most of the bed. And if your partner is lucky enough to have any room left to sleep there themselves (instead of being relegated to the couch or spare bedroom), you’ll probably either freeze or sweat them out based on your ever-changing temperature preferences.
Though this too shall pass, it might be something to just get used to. After all, pregnancy tends to culminate in a brand-spankin’-new infant with a host of sleeping needs of his or her own, so maybe you can get your partner to thank you for preparing them for the road ahead (you can dream, right?).
Mentally and emotionally, it can be hard enough to get used to your ever-expanding size during pregnancy. Now add the physical complications of growing larger, and you’ve got a recipe for a lot of apologies.
Your belly alone could be a serious cause of destruction as you knock into tables and furniture you could previously scoot by no problem. And that’s not even considering how much space your growing ta-tas, hips and booty will take up. You’ll probably take out a couple things here and there by mis-gauging how much space you have for those, too.
Now add people to the mix, and things get even more complicated. Squeezing by people in grocery store aisles or making your way to the back of the bus have now become even more complicated as you’re constantly bumping your belly into everyone along the way. You’ll also likely get a serious case of butterfingers, dropping things constantly and needing to ask for help to retrieve them, thanks to your new inability to bend over.
1 Being A Buzzkill
Though you shouldn’t expect your social life and all fun to go out the window once you’re pregnant, you might need to accept that sometimes you might end up choosing to move them to the back burner.
Parties don’t stop just because you’re pregnant, so you’ll probably get invited to plenty of fun shindigs. Nobody ever died from being unable to imbibe, but you might feel seriously left out as you watch everyone pound champagne while you sip endless club sodas. Your friends will start letting loose and gear up for dancing and partying, and you might find that your sober and pregnant self would rather sit on the sidelines.
There’s no need to skip out on the fun, but you might find yourself apologizing to friends as you quietly slink out of parties to go home and relax. Don’t worry though, when you wake up in the morning hangover-free as your poor friends are pounding Tylenol, it’ll almost feel worth it.
Sources: WhatToExpect.com, WebMD.com,
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