If only being a mommy was easy. It’s miraculous. It’s joyous. It’s filled with ooo’s, ahh’s and a few eww’s. Heck, it’s probably the best thing a woman has ever done. But, easy? Nope. No way. And that, my fellow mamas, is why a mommy meltdown is totally justifiable.
Okay, so having a daily tantrum is something a toddler does. Not something that mom should do. After all, mom has been adulting for a few years now and should have a handle on what it means to have self-control. That doesn’t mean mom can’t have the occasional meltdown now and again.
We’ve all been there. mom has been up since 5 a.m. (when the toddler decided to do a full-out belly flop onto her bed, and landed smack on her head), have had exactly two and one-quarter crackers to eat, haven’t had a shower in days and can’t even remember what she's supposed to use that pink stuff that’s hiding in the very, very bottom of her hasn’t been used in two years purse for.
Um, it’s lipstick and it’s the fancier cousin of the everyday balm mom has been sporting. So, when her 3-month-old won’t stop screaming and there are still eight hours until bedtime, no one is going to blame mom for hiding in a corner and crying.
Freaking out, even if it’s just a little bit, comes with the territory. It happens. Don’t stress. That is, mom shouldn't stress even more just because she's had a “mommy moment.” No one’s judging. And if they are – they aren’t part of the motherhood!
15 The Wi-Fi Is Out
Why would the Wi-Fi give you a meltdown? Well, think about how much you use it. Okay, okay – in a perfect world the kids completely occupy themselves with hours upon hours of outdoor play, creative crafts and all kinds of awesome imaginative open-ended activities. They don’t need electronics, and they certainly don’t need anything that the Internet has to offer. And, neither do you.
Hey, you know the drill. No screen time for babies and very, very limited amounts for kids two and over. Yes, there are parents who completely stick to this. Their kids don’t know who Dora is and no clue how to swipe, press on a touch screen or move a mouse. But, your kids aren’t part of these families.
No one is saying that the Internet should rule your kids’ lives. Far from that. But, when it goes out everyone sort of freaks out. Your preschooler is raging and you’re kind of jonesing for a FB break.
The longer the Wi-Fi is out for, the more difficult your day seems. And, that’s when it happens. First your kiddo has a major meltdown. Then it’s your turn.
14 Mommy Is Hangry
You spend your days breastfeeding, making bottles, peanut buttering jelly and making sure that the peas definitely do not touch the carrots (because clearly the world would come to a crashing halt if that ever happened). But, you don’t spend your days eating five-course meals. You’re lucky if you get a stray chicken nugget and half an already half-eaten apple.
It’s not that you’re hungry. Being hungry wouldn’t be so bad. You’re so hungry that you’re kind of angry. You’re hangry. Your blood sugar is dropping and every little thing is getting on your nerves. That fact that your S.O. just got home from work, popped open a bag of chips and parked himself in front of the TV is just highlighting your complete lack of snacks – or food for that matter.
You can feel your blood pressure rise and you let lose.
Maybe if you had a pretzel, a donut or a sandwich you could deal with his lack of help. But, right now you’re a hangry mother. And that means it’s time for a meltdown.
13 The 352nd Why Of The Day
“Why mommy? Why? Why? Why?” If you hear yet another why from your little one you might freak out. Toddlers and preschoolers are notoriously curious. They went to know everything – right now. Of course, your tiny tot can’t always figure out each puzzle that life has to offer by herself. So, that’s where you come in. And that’s where the steady stream of why’s also comes into play.
Yeah, there are times when you think the why’s are awesomely adorable. Your 3-year-old just asked you why you’re so beautiful or why she loves you so much. A warm wash of aww’s came over you, you smiled and everything seemed perfect in mommy-dom.
Fast forward three hours later. In the time since your little one complimented you with her why question she’s managed to ask at least 47 other why’s. She’s grilled you on why the sky is blue, why the tree’s leaves are green, why the cat has fur, why the dog’s nose is pink and why, why, why!
Suddenly those three little letters are turning your stomach and making it more than a challenge to stop from screaming into a pillow.
12 Breastfeeding Isn’t Easy
Breastfeeding, it’s natural. Right? Your cat did it (and managed to feed all six of her babies at the same time). Your BFF had no problems with latch and your MIL doesn’t get why you’re complaining that nursing is so very difficult. Hey, breastfeeding isn’t always easy. Some women have trouble with it. And some have more than trouble with it.
Whether you’re not producing enough milk to satisfy your newborn, your baby can’t latch on or you just aren’t getting this whole nursing thing, not being able to breastfeed may send you into a mommy fit. You desperately want to feed your baby. But, you can’t. Now you’re the one who is ready to cry.
Keep in mind, your baby needs to eat. Yes, you’ve heard the saying “breast is best” no less than a gazillion times. But, what really matters here is that your baby is well fed. If your baby isn’t getting an adequate amount of nutrition from your boobs, it’s time to hit the bottle – the baby, not you!
11 Diapers, Diapers Everywhere
Do you really have to change one more diaper? Nope. You have to change a zillion of them. Babies are messy. Super messy. You’ve got years until potty training happens, and you’re not sure if you can stomach what your little one puts in her diaper for much longer.
Okay, so every mom has to deal with #2. It happens. And, it’s really not a big deal. But, the constant diaper changes can get to you. That’s not to mention those oh-so-extra special ones that soak through two layers of clothes, require a complete bed change or happen in the middle of the mall.
You’d love just one day of not having to touch a wipe, Squeeze that rash cream or scoop that poop. When it all gets to be too much, you have a mommy meltdown. Despite the tears (yours, not your baby’s) you know what’s going to happen. After the crying (again, your and not hers) is done you’ll have to get back to mommy-ing and change another diaper. Sorry!
10 Nothing Is Clean, Ever
There once was a time when your home was pristine. It may have only been for a brief, fleeting moment. But, it happened. Sometime between living in squalor during those not-so-clean college days and moving in with your S.O., you went from a total mess to neat and tidy. You started lining up the linens, scrubbing the kitchen baseboards and making sure that the end table never collected even the slightest coating of dust.
Now that you’re a mama you have way too many things on your to-do list to worry about the lint that’s gathering under your bed. Between the mountain of laundry that’s creeping it’s way up the stairs and the gunk (it might be spit-up or it could be day-old yogurt) that’s stuck on the edge of what used to be your coffee table, you can’t even imagine what a clean house looks like.
You try to let it all go. But, then it gets to you. If one or two things weren’t perfectly neat and tidy you’d be okay. It’s the combination of every room being cluttered, the massive amount of baby gear that’s littering your hallways and the complete lack of vacuuming that is making you meltdown.
9 A Toddler And A Baby Equal Crazy
Mommy meltdowns happen. They happen when you have a newborn. They happen when you have a toddler. And they even happen when you have a teenager. But, put together that oh-so interesting combo of a toddler and a baby, and you’ve got a major reason to explode.
It’s only lunchtime and you’ve already had to deal with three tantrums, four diaper changes, two cases of spit-up and a brief scuffle between a not so tame 2-year-old and her 11-month-old brother. Whew! We get it. Having two kids under the age of three isn’t easy. The close age, the tempers and just about everything else that toddlers and babies do compounds to make your life just that much more challenging.
No one would blame you for having a meltdown every so often. You’re sleep deprived, aren’t sure where you end and where your kids begin and are wondering if there will ever be a day when you don’t have to hear someone crying at every possible moment. You kind of feel like a crazy person, and we get it.
Don’t stress. Before you know it you’ll have two teenagers who will – well, probably still be making you equally as crazy.
8 No One Is Listening
You’ve asked your 3-year-old to pick up the crayons that she threw all over the kitchen floor something like a zillion times. In between asking her to help you clean, you’ve asked your S.O. to take dinner out of the freezer to defrost and practically begged your 5-year-old to keep the cereal out of the living room. And, what happens? Your requests go completely and totally unnoticed.
Not only are your requests going unnoticed, but you’re starting to feel ignored. What’s going on here? Are you the invisible woman? Are the words that you’re speaking imaginary? Did you lose your voice and not notice? Nope. No one is listening.
You can take your family’s inability to listen in small amounts. But, now it’s happening on a majorly mega scale. Each time your requests go unnoticed, you get just that much more annoyed. It builds and builds until – it’s meltdown time! Now they’re listening.
7 A Totally Not Helpful S.O.
Your significant other is supposed to be your partner. He’s there to help you, hold your hand and do whatever it takes to make everything run smoothly. Or, he’s there to lounge on the couch, spoon lumps of peanut butter into his mouth with his hands and ask when dinner will be ready.
It’s one of those days. The kids aren’t listening to you, the baby won’t stop crying and it would be really, really nice if someone would help you out. You’re rushing around trying to run a no-win race as your hubby plays some fantasy sports game on his cell.
With each and every not so helpful moment, you get more and more annoyed. Your toddler drops his no-spill sippy cup, and (of course) it spills everywhere. Does your S.O. get up to clean the grapey mess? Nope.
The baby clearly needs a diaper change (eww). Does your S.O. pull poop duty? Not so much.
This isn’t to say that he won’t totally take over tomorrow and be the super dad that you know he is. But, right now you’re about to have a completely justifiable meltdown because of he’s not so helpful.
6 Mommy Shamers
Your 3-year-old decides that she wants to play pretty, pretty princess. She grabs your lipstick and paints her mouth (or her entire face) with it. Adorable. You think her face painting experiment is hilarious, sweet and totally postable. You snap a pic, post it on FB and smile at your little one’s creative cosmetic endeavor.
An hour goes by and suddenly you see it – a comment. A majorly, monstrously negative comment. Some other mama is doubting your parenting ability. She’s shaming the way you allowed your tiny tot to put chemical-filled cosmetic products all over her face. Then someone else chimes in. She’s sure your child has been traumatized by the anti-feminist representations you’ve clearly been shoving down her throat.
After all, why else would she want to be a princess or wear lipstick if not for the immense amount of gender stereotyping that happens in your household?
Here’s the problem: These people don’t know you. They’re anonymous Internet trolls who don’t have a clue who you are. Maybe they saw the picture after a mutual friend shared it or maybe it went slightly viral and they’re a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who happened to see it cross her feed.
Mommy shamers come in all forms, on the Internet and in real life. They’re inability to accept the fact that some people have different opinions or ways of doing things make their insensitive and often hurtful comments meltdown-makers.
5 Toddlers Have Tantrums
Who knew that 2-year-olds ruled the world? Well, any parent of a toddler could tell you that. Toddlers are all about themselves. The little egomaniacs! No, no one is really saying that your toddler is completely self-centered in a bad way. It’s just a fact of their developmental stage – they haven’t developed the ability to take perspectives and empathize yet.
What does this have to do with your tantrums? When your tot doesn’t get her way, she freaks out. And that takes the form of a tantrum. Hey, it’s not her fault. You know that. But, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
You’re in the middle of the mall and your toddler wants ice cream. Right.Now. She’s not taking no for an answer. And, you’re not giving in. So, she screams. And flails. And then screams some more. Everyone is looking. You kind of want to crawl into a hole and cry. But, instead you carry your tot off to the car, crawl in and have your mini meltdown in private.
4 Mama's Had No Sleep
Babies sleep a lot. No, you don’t believe that? A newborn may sleep up to 17 hours in a 24 hour period. It doesn’t seem like it, does it? That’s probably because your baby isn’t sleeping for large chunks of time. She’s up every hour, half hour or (if you’re lucky) every few hours. That means you’re up too.
You’re a zombie. More like a mombie. Your eyes are open, you’re up and walking around, but you are totally out of it. That’s probably why you put the TV remote in the fridge, fed the cat from the hamster’s food bowl and have on two different shoes. Not only are you more tired than any person reasonably should be, but you’re now on edge – all the time.
When you’re going on no sleep, a meltdown is bound to happen. It’s kind of like what happens when your toddler doesn’t nap. She gets extra cranky. Well, so do you.
3 What’s A Shower?
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a single woman who had all the time in the world to take long, long showers every day. Heck, she could even take two showers in one day (one in the morning and one after the gym). She washed her hair, conditioned it and maybe even used some sort of anti-frizz treatment.
That was you then. The now version of you is a mommy who doesn’t have time to shower, let alone anti-frizz her hair. Your shoulder is covered in spit-up, your hair has diaper rash cream stuck in it and you’d pretty much sell your soul to get five minutes alone in the shower. But, that’s not going to happen.
You’re dirty, you’re tired and you’re fussier than your 3-month-old. It won’t take much to trigger a mommy meltdown now. Maybe it’s a chance glance you get as you walk past a mirror or maybe it’s the funky odor that’s coming from – um, you. Whatever it is, the serious lack of showering has put you in meltdown mode. And no one blames you.
2 Bedtime Is Half-A-Day Away
You know what bedtime means. Okay, actual bedtime means that you spend roughly an hour reading stories, handing out sippy cups of water and patting your 4-year-old’s back until she drifts off. But, it also means that you’ll finally get a teeny tiny slice of me time. That’s right. When the kiddos go to sleep, mommy gets to kick back, relax, grab a glass of vino and maybe even watch a rated R movie.
Ah, how you look forward to the post-bedtime fun. But, then you realize that bedtime is still half a day away. There are just way too many hours until you can put the kids to bed. And, that’s cause for a meltdown.
Your day is super stressful and you need a break. Unfortunately, you aren’t going to get one – at least, not for another eight to ten hours. You look at the clock, think about your bedtime glee and fight back the tears. The more challenging your day gets, the closer you get to that completely justifiable “bedtime is too far away” mommy meltdown.
1 Someone Ate Mommy’s Chocolate
There are so few indulgences when it comes to motherhood. Yeah, there’s the occasional end of the night glass of wine. But, you can’t exactly take a swig from the bottle at noon (or at least, you shouldn’t).
So, you have your little mommy treats that you stash away. And one of them is chocolate. You have a secret chocolate bunker where you keep your sweets. Maybe it’s the back of the pantry or maybe it’s behind the kale and spinach (because no one is looking there). Wherever it is, you’re pretty sure that no one is finding it. Ever.
Then it happens. Someone finds your secret chocolate stash. It might be your S.O., your sitter or even your kiddos. Whoever it is, you aren’t happy. You were saving that one lone chocolate square for a very special mommy-treat date. And now it’s gone. It’s gone! Your one indulgence of the day has been swept away by someone who very well may not deserve it. That’s where the meltdown starts.
Hey, we get it. You need something that’s yours – and no one else’s.
Sources: BabyCenter.com, HealthyChildren.org