Hi, We have been on our Domestic Adoption Journey for 2 years. It seems that this holiday season has been extremly hard. Although I am keeping the faith of a little one coming to us soon, does this get any easier? If you have adopted, how long did you wait before placement/finalization? Thanks for any support in advanced. God Bless.
We waited less than a year from start to finish for our LO and there were 2 failed adoptions within that timeframe as well. We started our search for baby #2 in October and he was in our arms by February.
I think the key to our success was being proactive. We didn't sit around and wait for some agency to "match" us, we got our story out there with friends and family, facebook, dropped our profile off anywhere that would take it, searched for listings online etc... Our oldest was found online. His BM's agency listed her situation online and we inquired and were eventually selected from a pool of 5.
Our youngest was also found online. Met his BM right here on babygaga.
Another big key was being very open on the type of child we would adopt. We didn't care about race, mild special needs, mild drug use, family history. We were told by an agency that because of our openess we'd be matched more quickly then most couples.
Good luck to you. I hope it happens for you soon!
We found our daughter's birthfamily through www.parentprofiles.com. We started the process (had our first meeting with the agency) in January of 2009 and had our daughter by August 2009. The whole process beginning to end took less than 7 months .
Good luck to all of you considering adoption. No two stories are the same but they are all beautiful.
Quoting Adoption is Awesome:" EDIT NOVEMBER 2011 - UPDATED RESOURCES This thread is to provide support for adoptive parents or parents ... [snip!] ... - An excellent overview on the types of adoption scams. Myths about adoption - A nice article about the truths of adoption."
I wanted to share with folks that I was adopted as an infant. My husband and I always considered adoption as an option for our family, but felt it would be a 2nd or 3rd child in our lives vs. the need to pursue it prior. After our 4th miscarriage we signed up with DSS adoption services (free homestudies you can use for private agencies later, if you choose private agencies and mostly free adoptions if matched). To assist in self-promotion of our desire to adopt, I created a website in an effort to attract potential birth parents ourselves. I also sent packets around to various agencies and doctors offices about our desires to adopt. We have always been open about our desires to become forever parents.
After our 5th miscarriage, we signed up to become foster parents. Through this experience and throughout my life I have been open regarding my adoption and how parents can talk with their children about adoption. While a part of the foster parent association for our county, I became a contact person to help families incorporate the concept of their child being adopted and how to approach and discuss such topics with the child as a family. From that I began talking at crisis pregnancy centers and at a private adoption agency. In spring, 2011 we were blessed with a newborn foster child who we hope to adopt one day.
In November, while speaking with a (then) to-be birthmother about adoption and her feelings surrounding her decision and how to search for an adoptive family, we were asked if we would adopt her child-to-be. While a difficult decision and one I never thought I would ever be in the position to have to make, we decided our committment needed to remain to the child we were currently fostering and trying to adopt and instead united another foster-to-adopt family in our community with this birthmom. Their daughter was born in December, 2011.
My point in this is to share that you can self promote yourself in many ways and eventually can be linked with a family looking to place their child for adoption. It just takes openness, patience and time.
Ideas, we did: Create a website (weebly.com offers free versions), create a facebook page and promote it to your friends offering updated adoptive topics etc, register with DSS adoptions (if for nothing less, to get a chance to adopt a child for nearly free and also to get a free homestudy -- savings to you), research the private agencies you choose (some dont reimburse for birthmom expenses if moms back out last minute etc. which can get quite expensive), PROMOTE-YOURSELF. No one is going to be a better advocate than you, for you, to create your forever family. And lastly, trust in God. If this process has taught me any thing it is that things truly will happen in God's time and in God's way. Believe that! I wish you all well!
I am now officially TTA. Done with fertility treatments. Unless I can find 12k for IVF.
Amanda A thanks for your post. I am going to update the resources on the OP.
CLC, i just posted on your other thread...while you are waiting to start the process there are some good books out there. Dear Birthmother is an oldie But a goodie.
I just thought i would introduce myself......I'm Sam.....I'm a mummy to 1 little adopted girl who is now 21 months........trying just now ourselves to become pregnant but doubt it will work.
Adoption in the UK is totally different than in the States..........we were lucky and got the the process quickly.......from start to finish about a year and a half
Quoting Megeara:" Hi there, I just thought i would introduce myself......I'm Sam.....I'm a mummy to 1 little adopted girl ... [snip!] ... than in the States..........we were lucky and got the the process quickly.......from start to finish about a year and a half"
Congrats and good luck TTC. We had three miscarriages prior to adoption and then the fourth pregnancy stuck, so hopefully you will have the same luck we did now that you've adopted!
We've had 3 failed IVF attempts so hopefully now that we have our little girl the natural pregnancy will work but if it don't it don't as got a beautiful daughter and i still look at her at times and can't beleive she is ours :)
Would you consider adopting again?
I have found a birth mother here on BG! Going to meet her on Thursday!
Quoting CLC:" I have found a birth mother here on BG! Going to meet her on Thursday!"
Congrats! We met Jackson's BM on BG as well!
SO we are going to have an open adoption. We plan to get together with the birth family once a year. So when do you tell your kids they are adopted nad who their birth parents are?
Quoting CLC:" SO we are going to have an open adoption. We plan to get together with the birth family once a year. So when do you tell your kids they are adopted nad who their birth parents are?"
We made a life book for each of our boys with pics of their birthparents, background infromation (how birthparents met, decision for adoption etc..) and progressed into how we came into their lives.
My oldest is 25 months and we look through the life book all the time and point to their pictures and tell him who they are. He obviously doesn't understand yet, but we want to continue showing him them. He will probably never meet them as they live several states away, but we hope he'll call them, write them, and facebook them when he's older.
My youngest is 11 months old and we also have a lifebook for him. We are actually going to see his birthmom around his 1st birthday.
Everything I've read says to explain things right away to kids and never make it a "secret". Always be upfront and honest and make them feel special that they were choosen by your family and that his/her birthfamily chose adoption out of love. We also had our kids' birthmom write a letter to each of the boys stating why they chose adoption...we hope to read it to them someday.