Hailey is 8 months old and for the last week she has been FIGHTING taking naps. She is EXTERMLY cranky all day long and has trouble going to sleep at night if she doesn't nap.
I've tried everything I can think of to get her to nap.. Walking the floor, rocking her while feeding (while making sshh..noise that usually calms her). She will start to get sleepy, then wake up and want to PLAY.
She doesn't sleep thru the night yet (she still wakes 1-3 times a night).
She thinks its a game.. She usually gets pick her up after 5 minutes if she won't sleep so she gets "rewarded" for no naps. I get punished in the long run.
So starting today I've tried making her stay in her playpen and then going in and picking her up after 5 minutes, then 10 minutes and keeping up like that to get her to nap..But its been 3hrs and she refuses to nap. She will lay in her play pen and giggle for about 5 minutes then start SCREAMING/CRYING.
My daughter will usually get that way too when she is overtired....I just put her down right when I know she is tired and let her cry for a good 10 mins....then go in and put her pacifier back in and calm her down(without picking her up!!) and then leave the room again. She is usually asleep a couple mins after I leave then. At 8 months they know what will get them picked up and what they can do to get you to come. Definitely dont pick her up when you go in to calm her. She will then know that you mean business and wont pick her up if she cries. Up to you hun, but I'd say...let her cry for a lil bit, wont hurt her at all. :)
It sounds like she is ready for the "ferber method", if you are willing to try it.
I was having the same trouble with Ethan and this method worked like a charm. (We tried it when he was 8 months as well)
Your biggest mistake that you are making is picking her up. If she cries and you come in and pick her up you are letting her know that it is ok for her to cry and not sleep and she is not learning how to put herself to sleep.
They way it works is you put her to bed awake tell her goodnight and leave the room. If she cries, let her cry for 5 mins, then go in her room, pat her on the back, tell her its ok and then leave. DO NOT pick her up. If she continues to cry keep going back in and pat her on the back but gradually increase the time in-between going in her room. Gradually she will learn that crying will only get a short visit from mommy or daddy and she wont get picked up and she will learncrying isnt worth the effort and she will eventually self soothe and put herselfto sleep.
It only took Ethan one night to learn how to self soothe and he sleeps 13+ hours a night and will take at least two 2 1/2 hour naps a day. It is wonderful! (When I finally decided to try this he was still waking up every 2 hours out of habit and naptime was horrible, so I had to do something)
Here is a link with more info on this method:
I read about the Ferber Method in one of my parenting books.. I want to try it..but our walls are so THIN and she can cry for an hour or more even if you don't pick her up.
I really want to try this method...She needs to learn to sleep better..
She only naps for 20 minutes twice a day normally and then can sleep for 4-6 hrs before waking up.
It really pains me to listen to her cry ..I almost want to cry myself but I want her to learn to sleep and its not a game she can play.
Trust me I totally understand. It was hell at first but he needed to be put on a schedule as much as I needed my sleep and sanity. Babies NEED to sleep a lot and it sounds like she is way over tired which in turns makes you and her misrable.
Try it at naptime first. When you put her down if she cries, leave her room and go turn the TV on and turn it up a little louder so you cant hear her as well. Then after 5 mins go check on her and if she is crying, calm her briefly without picking her up, leave her room going back to the TV or whatever it is that will drown out the noise a little bit and then check on her again in 10 mins, and so on and so forth. What helped me is I would turn the TV on but I would have the baby moniter next to me. I would turn it all the way down so I couln't hear him cry, but my moniter has the lights, so if he is making noise it lights up,having the moniter made me feel a little bit better, like I wasn't totally ignoring him.I wouldn't turn the TV up to the point where I couldnt hear it at all, but just enough to where it was taking the edge off of hearing him cry.
Trust me I know how extremely hard it is but you will be thanking yourself later once you are able to get her to sleep longer and better.
I have some questions about this method..
Do I try to put her down for a nap like usual? Bottle and rocking? Then I try this method if it doesn't work?
Or do I lay her down when she gets tired and start this "method"?
I defintely will start with a naptime try out :) I have the same type of monitor..Mine has lights and sounds :)
I still nurse Ethan before naps and bedtime, but I make sure he doesn't fall asleep while eating. So bottle and rocking is ok, as long as she is still semi-awake when she goes to bed. And even if she does fall asleep SOMETIMES then I am sure it will be fine, as long as she doesn't depend on you to help her fall asleep every time.
Consistency is the key. If you cave one time and pick her up,all your hard work up until then is pretty much useless.
Good luck! I hope it works!
Im curious to see if it worked. Keep us updated. I've always been curious on this method.
Averi doesnt have that naptime problem just yet but she does throw fits from time to time when she's obviously tired. She did it last night before bedtime actually. She just freaked out. Nothing mad her happy, she was tired and wanted to bitch about it. I just let her cry it out. She criedduring her bath and then finally settled down when i cuddled her on the couch. She justgot it out of system. She went to bed right after perfectly, I guess you can say i do my own version of Ferber method. Im not sure when you can actually start the Ferber method though.
Thank you for the advice :)
I think we will start this with tomorrow's nap :)
We use to have a very good schedule until she turned 8 months old and she threw her schedule out the window ;)
I'm so ready for her to learn to nap and go to bed w/out problems.
You just explained my son to the "T" Hes been doing the same exact thing for 2 days now. I have NO idea what to do and i thought something was wrong, like a tooth or something. But he isnt crying he is SCREAMING bloody murder. I have made the mistake of letting Anthony get used to going to bed with a bottle. He will drink all of it usually and turn over to get the bottle out of his mouth, but now he wont go to bed with out one and the last 2 days he wont even take a nap or go to bed with one or a paci or anything. Also the last 2 nights he has been up till 10-1030 and normally we get him to sleep by 9 but he will wake up about 4-5 hours later. He has also been waking up at 630 the last 2 days when normally he sleeps till 8 after he wakes up at 5ish for a bottle. So the over tired thing makes sence, but how do i get him to sleep well enough to become caught up on his sleep? I havent really followed through on that method especially at night just beccause my sister lives with us and i dont want to wake her up by letting him cry so i give in. PLEASE let me know if this works for you.
I'm trying this method as i typing this. I'm in the round of 15 mins at a time...God, i hope and pray it will work! i got to the point that i can be in the same room with my son while crying and i can't hear him anymore. However, when my hubby gets home from work, his the kind of guy that doesn't like hearing our kid cry , so he will pick them up and comfort them. At night when my son crys even when his sleeping next to us, i have to get up and rock, do anything to keep him from crying and fully waken up. my hubby will wake up to and help but i tell him to jus let him cry it out and maybe it will get him tired enough to go to sleep. i never have heard the Ferber Method before, but heard that never pick up your baby every time he cry. i email the method to my hubby at work and i hope he will help me continue with this method tonight. wish me luck! i feel like i need it for support! thanks for listening....
My DS is 8.5 months old now, he is very good sleeper until the 2 upper teeths (the 2 lower teeths no problems at all), he changed his sleeping routine from then.Usually when he wanted to bed, he showed his tireness then just put him on bed with 2 pillows, he sucked his thumb then slept and bottle fed after that (BUT I SOOTHE HIM BY PATTING OR SINGING AND STAYING WITH HIM). I just came back to Australia after 4 months in my hometown, Vietnam so I have to change him back to sleep in cot and feeding when he awakes, the training goes well and start to train sleep by himself with Ferber method, all seemed ok for first couples day and he starts to fight even I read book, let play time before really control him, and end up just picking up and hold him (no rocking), sit down on floor, patting a but till he drowsy and put back to cot He slept 2-2.5hr in morning and 1hr in afternoon now BUT ALWAYS FIGHTING IN AFTERNOON, it takes 2hrs before he can fall asleep by himself or crying and no sleeping at all.
So Am I wrong to pick him up? Can I continue this method and keep consistency?
At bed time at night, he is quite relax and easy to fall asleep by himself