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K[♥ E&C] 2 kids; Nevada 25704 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" yea but I wouldn't have any help with the baby at all."


You can't judge that, you don't know what the future would bring.

Women do it daily with no help. They survive.

There's other options available to you. You have 10 more weeks to decide, but by then you'll feel the baby. It may make it harder.

Don't worry about the who's and what if's. Ask yourself "Am I ready to be a mother?" "Can I provide for this child?" "Am I mentally ready for a baby?"

It's your decision, it's hard, but only you can make it.

If it were me, i'd at least contact both potential fathers (in the case of the one night stand, contact his family) and let them know the possibilities. You may be surprised in what they say, either in a positive way or a negative way.

K[♥ E&C] 2 kids; Nevada 25704 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" wouldn't matter if I told or not. They'd know. They could tell when the baby is born. They are racist ... [snip!] ... be acceptable.. But that might not appear if I was having his baby. The other guy is african american. There's no hiding that."



Then that's your parents choice, however, lots of people change their tune when it's their grandbaby.

......................... Santa Fe, New Mexico 46828 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" wouldn't matter if I told or not. They'd know. They could tell when the baby is born. They are racist ... [snip!] ... be acceptable.. But that might not appear if I was having his baby. The other guy is african american. There's no hiding that."


If they want to be like that it can really be their loss. And it will be you who will be feeling the pain not them.



Honestly, I couldn't live my life for anyone else. Especially considering their values.

Squishy*Woman Due February 22; 5 kids; Spokane, WA, United States 2056 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" wouldn't matter if I told or not. They'd know. They could tell when the baby is born. They are racist ... [snip!] ... be acceptable.. But that might not appear if I was having his baby. The other guy is african american. There's no hiding that."


Well truthfully if they don't want anything to do with the baby, that is there loss.
You are 20, you can do it on your own if you have to.
I know a lot of mamas that have more than one child and something happens and they are on there own.
I do wish you the best o luck in whatever it is that you chose.

inevitabledisaster18 Due January 1; Nevada 27 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting K[♥ E]+1:" You can't judge that, you don't know what the future would bring. Women do it daily with no help. ... [snip!] ... family) and let them know the possibilities. You may be surprised in what they say, either in a positive way or a negative way."


I want to but I feel I couldn't alone. I want to be ready I don't feel anything but I know once I do I'm not going to want an abortion.

Leila ☺ Benny 2 kids; Chalmette, Louisiana 2057 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" yea but my parents would not support me if it was with the other guy"


Don't even find out .. just accept your friend as the father.

inevitabledisaster18 Due January 1; Nevada 27 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting | Mama Dee *:" Don't even find out .. just accept your friend as the father."


I'll find out at birth without a test really.

inevitabledisaster18 Due January 1; Nevada 27 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting Squishy*Woman:" Well truthfully if they don't want anything to do with the baby, that is there loss. You are 20, you ... [snip!] ... than one child and something happens and they are on there own. I do wish you the best o luck in whatever it is that you chose."

thanks I know I can I guess it's more of a worry if I'll have enough stregnth to go through it.

♥Danielle+3♥ 3 kids; Oregon 52371 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" thanks I know I can I guess it's more of a worry if I'll have enough stregnth to go through it."


good luck with your decision. there's plenty of single moms who raise their child(ren) on their own without help or support from their parents and you could do it if you choose parenting. You find a way to make things work! If the one night stand turns out to be the father i believe there are benefits you can receive for some financial support if the father is deceased.

Dutchmaster Due October 15; 2 kids; Providence, RI, United States 11258 posts
5th Jul '11
Quoting inevitabledisaster18:" I'll find out at birth without a test really."

Not necessarily... So don't make any hasty decisions based on skin tone when the time comes (if the time comes).

user banned 1 child; Illinois 3734 posts
6th Jul '11

<blockquote><b>Quoting K[♥ E]+1:</b>" I think she meant wouldn't get one based off of guilt."</blockquote>




Yeah sorry typo! I meant wouldn't!

bettymunroe Due June 27; 2 kids; Auckland, E7, New Zealand 550 posts
6th Jul '11

Abortion is a permanent decision there is no going back, there is a big chance you could regret it. Plenty of mums who struggle finnacially successfully raise children. If you have doubt about going through with it think about it a little longer u ntil you are 100 % sure that it is the right decision for you.

DelETEDDDDDDD!! TTC since May 2011; Tennessee 138 posts
7th Jul '11

People throw around the word ' abortion ' so lightly!
THAT IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPTION.
I can assure, it will be very hard 10 years down the road thinking back on having an abortion. however, it is your choice to make - NOT mine. Good luck with it all! i hope everything goes smoothly

Dutchmaster Due October 15; 2 kids; Providence, RI, United States 11258 posts
7th Jul '11
Quoting ♪kenley♫:" People throw around the word ' abortion ' so lightly! THAT IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPTION. I can assure, ... [snip!] ... on having an abortion. however, it is your choice to make - NOT mine. Good luck with it all! i hope everything goes smoothly"

It's potentially because you're in the Abortion Survivors forum... and its totally fine to get an abortion if thats what you want to do.

DelETEDDDDDDD!! TTC since May 2011; Tennessee 138 posts
7th Jul '11

<blockquote><b>Quoting Super Dutchie