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Lieing about being married/ divorced...birth certificate? εṃ 1 child; Niddatal, Germany 76 posts
4th Aug '11

I was just given that advice by birth records for the 2nd time! (However I am unsure if it actually says my marital status on the birth certificate or just in hospital records)



- I am in the process of a lengthy divorce that should have been finalized by July but now takes much longer. My Ex husband is NOT the father of the child. We were separated for a long time before we were able to file and after filing it takes even more time.



My new partner is the father of the baby, we are happy together, we have been wanting to get married for a while but are still waiting for the divorce. So there is no blurriness there or any questions on whether he is the father or whether it will last.



When I spoke to birth records they said it is okay to put the biological father if I state I am divorced or single. One of the nurses acted like it was perfectly legal, the next one I asked said it is more like a little trick...



But I am afraid about getting in trouble with the law for "lieing"
The divorce will probably be final 2 months after his birth (court said they are 2mths behind)



Problem is if I don't lie, it ruins like a million plans we had. I'm not a citizen, my green card is running out, but we were planning to live in Germany anyways. So were going to move before that happens because without my status my Ex can be considered the legal father of the child and I get deported. Also if we don't move to Germany soon (before 2012), I will have to give up my residence there, meaning re-entering will be hard, getting my boyfriend a Visa even harder, he will not be the father legally until I the final divorce papers are translated and processed in Germany too and I will lose all the government benefits waiting there for us (paid apartment, food, cash aid, health insurance, child money). :(



Now..what to do?

♥Danielle+3♥ 3 kids; Oregon 52371 posts
4th Aug '11

i'd say you should probably put divorced. it seems like thats what the birth record people are telling you to do anyways so i'd follow their directions. If the divorce papers have already been filed then i think thats good enough.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
4th Aug '11

You can put the bio father no matter your status, he just has to sign an acknowledgment of paternity, I think.

Princess Nadia 19 kids; Oklahoma 2523 posts
4th Aug '11

:shock: :?
Leave it unmarked and list the real father? >.<

sick of yesterday! TTC since Nov 2008; Provo, Utah 3676 posts
4th Aug '11

Put him on it. HE is the father its not really a lie. The rules were made without taking into account the special circumstances.

3M'smom 3 kids; Illinois 28879 posts
4th Aug '11

You can put the real father down as the dad.

Ansley2012 Due November 30 (twins); 2 kids; Sterling Heights, Michigan 2116 posts
4th Aug '11

I had the same situation!!! I have been legally seperated for soon to be 4 years! My lawyer sucks and my ex never shows to finalize the divorce. I should have lied! When they asked if I was ever married I said yes, without thinking I informed them that the divorce was not final and because of that I could not put the biological father on the birth certificate, which my ex wouldnt give consent. So I had to leave it blank. Her father and I are no longer together and he has no legal obligation because he is not on her birth certificate. So my opinion is to LIE!!!!

εṃ 1 child; Niddatal, Germany 76 posts
5th Aug '11
Quoting ♥Danielle+3♥:" i'd say you should probably put divorced. it seems like thats what the birth record people are telling ... [snip!] ... you to do anyways so i'd follow their directions. If the divorce papers have already been filed then i think thats good enough."


We thought about that too, the fact that they have been filed. It is not like there is no divorce at all and hopefully all will go smooth and by Sept./ Oct. the divorce is final..

εṃ 1 child; Niddatal, Germany 76 posts
5th Aug '11

And thanks everyone, we will probably go ahead and say I am divorced. If we would do it the other way around it would just be too much hassle to later add him and since we are dealing with 2 countries we also always have to deal with both their paperwork and rules.



Also, I was told other states are fully okay with the mother putting the biological father as log as the married couple is separated.