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Cast Your Vote:

    • I was abused as a child & am looking for support -- Votes: 29
    • I was abused as a child & can support others who've suffered -- Votes: 89
    • I have abused my children & am looking to change -- Votes: 16
    • I'm not sure if I'm being abusive, but I'm worried I might be -- Votes: 43
    • I was abused & am worried I'll start abusing in the future -- Votes: 22
    • I was not abused & am looking to give support -- Votes: 127
What's wrong, flat face? TTC since Jul 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Texas 13678 posts
15th Dec '11

I was abused as a child and while I don't think I will ever be abusive I worry sometimes. I can get just sooo mad at small things and I am usually able to diffuse myself before anything gets worse. My lil bro and I used to get into fist fights about stuff.. that was just how we handled it. But I have learned self control since then but I worry just because of how frustrated I get with LO. Like he will cry and scream and I can't fix it or I am trying to get ready for work and just stuff like that so it can be very frustrating. I have never lashed out but I just feel that I have gotten overly frustrated with it.. I usually just start crying with him though because I want to fix it and I can't.

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Mara:" in light of the recent news that revealed one of our own members has been arrested for abusing her children ... [snip!] ... choosing love instead of anger and rage every time is the single most powerful way to heal the wounds of abuse from your past."


I fall into a few of those categories.



And I didn't know that one of our members was arrested!



Long story short, maybe I'll open up about my situation, but for now, anyone that was abused as a child, I can fully support if need be. And if someone personally wants to hear my story before opening up, I will type it out for you so you feel comfortable coming to me about it. It's not something I often talk about, but I feel more comfortable talking about it with people who understand.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
15th Dec '11

Great idea!



I was not abused but I have friends who were.

user banned 2 kids; Iowa 7762 posts
15th Dec '11

I just want to say that people need to understand that being abused does not mean that someone hit you. You can be emotionally abused as well.

I grew up with parents who were alcoholics as well as my father being a drug addict. I had to grow up very fast and care for my younger siblings. My parents often did and said very horrible things to me and my siblings. I am 22 (almost 23) years old. My parents have both been sober for about 3 1/2 years now.
I STILL struggle with the damage they did to me because of how they treated me growing up.

I remember pulling my father off my mother as he tried to beat her. I can remember sitting in our stairway listening as they screamed at one another in a drunken rage.
To this day I still have anxiety attacks when people start to yell and fight, even if they are joking around.

I'm here for anyone that wants to talk. My parents may not have physically abused me, but I still feel like they "damaged" me.

user banned Due March 20; 2 kids; Pinckney, Michigan 49647 posts
15th Dec '11

I was abused as a teen. (father wasn't in the picture until then)




The biggest fear of mine is turning into my father.

Search 1 child; California 7148 posts
15th Dec '11

I think this is a really really good idea!! I was never abused as a child, but I witnessed my father abuse my mother. And my WORST fear was that I was going to do that to my children. I used to stay up at night crying worried that I was going to turn into my father (and this was well before I even thought of having children).
BG really has to be one of the best sites that I've ever come across.. while there is drama and some interesting women on here, at the end of the day we usually rally around each other and support one another and that's amazing.

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting * Sara *:" Thank you Mara. I was abused and neglected as a child and although it hasn't happened, I do worry that ... [snip!] ... I am open to anyone who things they might have abusive tendencies or just needs to talk about their past and present. <3"


I am right there with you. I feel like when I yell at my son (after many times of rationally telling him), I feel like it will go further, but know it won't. I think deep down anyone that was abused/neglected/abandoned must have that irrational fear.

The ℰffin' D! 2 kids; New York 26316 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Vanessa ♥:" I fall into a few of those categories. And I didn't know that one of our members was arrested! Long ... [snip!] ... to me about it. It's not something I often talk about, but I feel more comfortable talking about it with people who understand."


I'm willing to do that also.



I've never shared my story with anyone. But because there are different forms of abuse, and I think typing it out for others to see may just help someone who needs it.

user banned Indiana 33802 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Vanessa ♥:" I fall into a few of those categories. And I didn't know that one of our members was arrested! Long ... [snip!] ... to me about it. It's not something I often talk about, but I feel more comfortable talking about it with people who understand."


<3




Anytime you wanna talk Id share stories with you

* Sara * 2 kids; Texas 18864 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Vanessa ♥:" I fall into a few of those categories. And I didn't know that one of our members was arrested! Long ... [snip!] ... to me about it. It's not something I often talk about, but I feel more comfortable talking about it with people who understand."


I would like to hear it, if you don't mind.

**Blessed_Insanity** 7 kids; Wyoming 19015 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Super Kame Guru:" I just want to say that people need to understand that being abused does not mean that someone hit you. ... [snip!] ... I'm here for anyone that wants to talk. My parents may not have physically abused me, but I still feel like they "damaged" me."


Which is why I said in my earlier post that it was not just physical but emotional abuse I was scared of passing on as well..I was both physically and emotionally abused and honestly its the emotional that is the hardest for me to get over. It IS very damaging!

*Mommy for life* 68 kids; Franklin, Ohio 10536 posts
15th Dec '11

i was physically, mentally, and sexually abused as a child my pm box is always open and in emergency cases so is my phone line

* Sara * 2 kids; Texas 18864 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Vanessa ♥:" I am right there with you. I feel like when I yell at my son (after many times of rationally telling ... [snip!] ... go further, but know it won't. I think deep down anyone that was abused/neglected/abandoned must have that irrational fear."


Sometimes I feel justified in getting angry at others. And then I stop and think that I remind myself of my mother and I have to walk away and take a breather. I don't want my kids to be scared of me. I don't think fear=respect.

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting The Effin' D!
user banned Chicago, Illinois 66899 posts
15th Dec '11
Quoting Just Ames:" Thank you for this. Although I'll never speak of my past, I am confident in my own skin today. I realize some however will have a lifetime of struggle and need to reach out."

This.



If anyone, ever needs to talk with no judgment, feel free to PM me...or find a professional to talk to.



Child abuse can really have an effect on who your child becomes and their future actions.