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Do you get jealous? {tamz} Due September 2; 1 child; Maryland 2534 posts
24th Jan '12

Did/Do you get jealous when you see other moms with FT babies reaching their milestones (especially if their FT is the same actual age as your preemie)?



There are a few friends around me who have children about DD's age and while I'm so proud of them for their accomplishments, there's still a sort of weird jealousy I have. Even though DD is hitting her adjusted age milestones. I also hate that we have to kind of teach her how to reach these milestones with EI instead of her reaching them on her own. Did/Do you feel this way?

user banned California 14075 posts
24th Jan '12

Yes. My son was born at 34 weeks and still hasn't done a lot of things that babies born before him are doing. It makes me sad, yet happy for them and their babies :(

{tamz} Due September 2; 1 child; Maryland 2534 posts
24th Jan '12
Quoting mama aℓicia.:" Yes. My son was born at 34 weeks and still hasn't done a lot of things that babies born before him are doing. It makes me sad, yet happy for them and their babies :("


Exactly. I feel very conflicted inside. It's also kind of sad you imagine having a baby who will reach these milestones on their own and you even imagine having a baby who walks early or does this stuff early, but you know your preemie never will. I'm very proud of DD for what she has accomplished, but I'll never get to be a Mom who can say her child walked at 9 months or anything. :(

user banned California 14075 posts
24th Jan '12
Quoting TamaraL:" Exactly. I feel very conflicted inside. It's also kind of sad you imagine having a baby who will reach ... [snip!] ... of DD for what she has accomplished, but I'll never get to be a Mom who can say her child walked at 9 months or anything. :("


I'm sorry mama. I can relate. Preston still hasn't even sat up on his own/with support & has only rolled over ONCE. and he's 8 months old.



I saw your page and she truly is a fighter <3 & she's gorgeous.

B00Bzilla 1 child; Defiance, Ohio 782 posts
24th Jan '12

If it helps to ease your mind, I was a preemie born at 30 weeks and just over 3 pounds. You'd have to ask my mom how I reached my "adjusted" milestones although from watching home movies I'm fairly sure I was like any other preemie with walking and talking and such, but rest assure I caught up and surpassed most people my age. Especially in school even graduated with honors. I'm proof that preemies grow up into healthy children and adults :) I'd include "normal" but I'll have to admit I'm a little on the weird side ;)

Andie. 3 kids; Oregon 7883 posts
24th Jan '12

I had the same issues with my oldest. He was born at 34 weeks and didn't really catch up until he was older. Now at 9, he's completely caught up (and surpassed in some areas) with his peers.

Sammylovesjohn Pittman Due June 20; 32 kids; Australia 11 posts
24th Jan '12

every child premmie or not will do it in there own time dont worry to much about if there getting there by what the books or any other mother says if mums are stating there kid did this and that by this age then smile and wish them all the best in my eyes not the type of friends you should have comparing kids is for the week and silly ppl that have nothing better to do with there time your child might not be sitting or walking when others are but she will be smarter in her own ways you will see when she gets older by the little things she does and then your child will be the smart one babys do it in there own time my 5 yr old just started school and cant read or write but she is so smart with common sence and things in life that other kids have no idea about dont stress they will get there in the end then u have the upper hand :-) keep smiling and just think no matter what u get to hold ur little one everynight when there are ppl out there that will never have the chance look on the bright side of things

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59390 posts
24th Jan '12

No, not really. I know my daughter will do things when she is damn well good and ready to do them. I've always tried not to compare my kids to others, though. It sets them up unfairly and doesn't reflect their own accomplishments, ya know?

{tamz} Due September 2; 1 child; Maryland 2534 posts
24th Jan '12

Thanks for all the encouraging words and stories. My friends aren't trying to brag to me or anything, it's evil FB and what I see posted lol.