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Tomorrow will be -*-Kristen-*- 33 kids; Maryland 5965 posts
20th Mar '12

Another horrible morning. I hate the morning drives to drop my daughter off at school, where I have to drive by the church with all the little crosses lined up and signs says how important life is at any stage. It makes my depression so much worse. I get flash backs of that sweet lady who held my hand while I let the doctor suck my baby right out of me....how I relive it ever morning except in my head the nice lady tells me that not to do it. I wish so bad someone told me to not do it. Then in my flash back I picture myself saying no....then pretend for one second my baby was still there. I would be almost 17 weeks right now. All I think about is how my baby bump would look now. I look down just imagine. I wish this pain would go away. I wish I could some how go back and stop it all. Instead I relive the night mare over and over again.

Speech Path Momma 1 child; Kansas 7130 posts
20th Mar '12

Sorry hun. :( Just know that it was the best decision for you at the time and that's why you did it. It will start to get better soon. I would honestly try taking a different way to drop your daughter off so you don't have to be reminded.

-*-Kristen-*- 33 kids; Maryland 5965 posts
20th Mar '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting alyssa is cool.:</b>" Sorry hun. :( Just know that it was the best decision for you at the time and that's why you did it. ... [snip!] ... to get better soon. I would honestly try taking a different way to drop your daughter off so you don't have to be reminded."</blockquote>



I wish I did it for the right reason, I did it because my husband wanted me to. It was not his baby, it was my best friends. We were separated and he made me believe that if I did it, our marriage would be fine. He even took me while my best friend tried stopping me. There was no good reason, just me caught up in my soon to be ex husbands controll.

Taylor♥L&A 2 kids; Virginia 945 posts
20th Mar '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting -*-Kristen-*-:</b>" Another horrible morning. I hate the morning drives to drop my daughter off at school, where I have ... [snip!] ... this pain would go away. I wish I could some how go back and stop it all. Instead I relive the night mare over and over again."</blockquote>



I'm so sorry:(! Ive never been in your situation but my two best friends were and they both went to a therapist & they said it helped so much! But they both said it took time to heal.

-*-Kristen-*- 33 kids; Maryland 5965 posts
20th Mar '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Taylor♥L&A:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting -*-Kristen-*-:</b>" Another horrible morning. I hate the morning ... [snip!] ... two best friends were and they both went to a therapist & they said it helped so much! But they both said it took time to heal."</blockquote>



Thanks, I do need to find one.

My Little Bessie 4 kids; 2 angel babies; United Kingdom 27582 posts
21st Mar '12

I have been where you are hunni, I had an abortion when I was 19 for all the wrong reasons, and it ate me up inside. You have to let go of all this pain you are holding on to, all this guilt. You can not change what has happened and dwelling on it will only cause you more hurt. You need to move on with your life and heal emotionally. I know it seems impossible now but you can come through this, you can find inner peace again. Feel free to PM me anytime.

-*-Kristen-*- 33 kids; Maryland 5965 posts
21st Mar '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bovine Burlesque:</b>" I have been where you are hunni, I had an abortion when I was 19 for all the wrong reasons, and it ate ... [snip!] ... I know it seems impossible now but you can come through this, you can find inner peace again. Feel free to PM me anytime."</blockquote>



Thank you, I am trying, today was better than yesterday. I had a very long and good talk with the father of the baby and it made me feel a lot better. His words were strong and gave me some strength today.
Thanks:-)