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Need advice for my friend Mommy&Noah Los Angelos, CA, United States 1881 posts
21st Mar '12

My friend is 7 weeks pregnant and she is torn about abortion and she basically wants me to tell her to get one because she can't make the decision on her own. I just don't feel like its my place to tell her to do it because its not my body but she's just so confused. I told her it was her decision and hers alone and that she just had to do what she thought was best for her but she just can't make up her mind. A part of her wants the baby because she's very religious and feels her family will judge her harshly....the part of her that wants to abort is because she's not with the father and she's not married. The father is telling her in order for them to stay together she needs to abort. I just don't know what to tell her all she has been doing is crying and she's so lost I just don't want to tell her to get an abortion and then she resents me for giving her the advice since her heart is not into it. I'm her only friend and I would love to know what to tell her I've never had to give somebody this type of advice.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
21st Mar '12

sounds like she wants the baby but the bf doesnt. if she wants it then tell her to keep iit but if she wants the a-hole bf then abort it. or adoption?

Dakota- O.R.A.J's mom 1 child; Great Falls, Montana 102 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting briana88:" sounds like she wants the baby but the bf doesnt. if she wants it then tell her to keep iit but if she wants the a-hole bf then kill it. or adoption?"


Idk i would honestly leave it up to her. But soon shes going to be at the point where she really cant abort it or she has to do a surgery to abort it. I would tell her you'll support her in whatever decision she makes but she needs to make it for herself not for the mindless boyfriend or for you to make. She needs to think of herself. She opened her legs and got pregnant so now she needs to be a big girl and decide. She cant rely on others to decide for her.

Chellie Due September 19 (boy); 2 kids; Vegas, Nv, United States 4791 posts
21st Mar '12

It needs to come from her and if the father is acting like that she shouldn't be with him at all whether she has the baby or not.



I had an abortion. It was a planned baby and my boyfriend at the time(now husband) and I both wanted the baby. I ended up losing my job shortly after getting pregnant and we could not live off what my husband was making since we were living on our own. It hurts but I know that it was the best decision for us at the time because it gave me time to find another job and for us to get married.



Does her family know she is pregnant? If not then if she got the abortion she really wouldn't need to tell them unless she wanted to. However it goes both ways if they do know because she is either criticized for the abortion or criticized for baby out of wedlock. So ultimately all you can do is be her sounding board and let her work out her choice on her own.



It is no easy choice to make.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting Dakota- O.R.A.J's mom:" Kill it? that was a little harsh? I mean you are but jeez... Idk i would honestly leave it up to her. ... [snip!] ... She opened her legs and got pregnant so now she needs to be a big girl and decide. She cant rely on others to decide for her."

she asked for advice...i gave advice

*sp* 2 kids; Texas 16155 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting briana88:"


You do realize that this is a protected forum and you're not supposed to voice your personal opinions on abortions. Go read the rules of the forum, please.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting briana88:" "

:roll::arrow:
Someone please MOD her.

*sp* 2 kids; Texas 16155 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" :roll::arrow: Someone please MOD her."


For real.



I edited my post to delete what she said.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" :roll::arrow: Someone please MOD her."


didnt notice so whatever

*sp* 2 kids; Texas 16155 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting briana88:" didnt notice so whatever"


You need to edit your post and delete what you wrote.

*Dark Angel* Due May 27 (boy); St Albert, Alberta 531 posts
21st Mar '12

All you can do right now is be a good friend to her. It's a decision that she will have to make for herself.. But she will need someone to support her either way, and it sounds like she does not have that at home or with her bf... Help her make a pro and con list, or work out a financial plan or something. But help her by just being there and talking it through with her.

I've never known anyone who had to make this decision, so I don't have any sound advice, but that's what I would do if my friend needed me...

I hope things end up well for her...

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting *sp*:" For real. I edited my post to delete what she said."

I posted this link in the Mod Forum, hopefully someone will clear that up.



OP - I don't think anyone should ever have an abortion because their boyfriend/SO is threatening to leave if they don't. If he wanted to be with her, he wouldn't threaten to leave over a decision they should make MUTUALLY, not a threat.
I think if I were in your situation and she were asking me what to do, I'd tell her that I wished to remain neutral in the situation and refer her here where she can speak to people who have been there, done that. I'd also tell her that no matter what, she'd have my support.
Good luck.

*sp* 2 kids; Texas 16155 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" I posted this link in the Mod Forum, hopefully someone will clear that up. OP - I don't think anyone ... [snip!] ... can speak to people who have been there, done that. I'd also tell her that no matter what, she'd have my support. Good luck."


I think it'll be ok now. She edited her post.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting *sp*:" I think it'll be ok now. She edited her post."

Awesome. Now I gotta finish homework. I get side tracked too easily.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" I posted this link in the Mod Forum, hopefully someone will clear that up. OP - I don't think anyone ... [snip!] ... can speak to people who have been there, done that. I'd also tell her that no matter what, she'd have my support. Good luck."

chill. i fixed it.