Reply
abortion at 12 weeks Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7067 posts
21st Mar '12

my step sister is about 12 weeks pregnant & she has an abortion scheduled for friday. she talked to my mom & my mom got the impression that she was only doing to because her boyfriend wants her to.



i honestly think an abortion would be the best thing in her situation (shes very immature, her boyfriend will leave her if she keeps it, she is mentally unstable, ect.) BUT i dont want her to have an abortion just because her boyfriend wants her to... it is possible that she will grow up & mature once she has the baby, but i dont think so... she is just not that kind of person. but who knows. right now she lives with her boyfriend, & if she keeps it & he leaves her, the only place she could go is to live at our parents house. but they have no room or enough money to support her.



what advice should i give her?



also, my mom was talking to me about when she (my mom) had an abortion at 15 years old. she said she has always regreted it because she had no support, and she felt pressured & she dosnt want that for my step sis but my mom just cant financially support her.
my mom also said that she still remembers the sound of them suctioning the baby out of her & it still gives her chills.
how do they do abortions now at 12-ish weeks?

misanthrope 2 kids; Ramona, California 15431 posts
21st Mar '12

Just be there for her. She will need a lot of love and support.

D+S+G= ♥ 1 child; Alaska 29971 posts
21st Mar '12

What you should tell her is "No matter what you decide to do I will support you".



This is solely her choice & her choice only,just let her know you are there for her.

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
21st Mar '12
Quoting misanthrope:" Just be there for her. She will need a lot of love and support."


This!

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
21st Mar '12

Be there for her no matter what she decides. My sister just went through the same situation. She had an abortion and at 12 weeks it's the same as a D&C.

Dakota- O.R.A.J's mom 1 child; Great Falls, Montana 102 posts
21st Mar '12

I thought at 12 weeks they had to do a surgery type deal... I could be way off. Abortions have always scared me so ive tried to avoid learning much about them but if i remember right its almost like a surgical procedure now... but i think they still have to suck the baby or fetus out...



I can see both sides of the argument with support and abortion... has she thought about adoption? she could do an open one where if she chose to she could still see her baby?

dungonenutz Due December 16; 2 kids; Rhode Island 1738 posts
21st Mar '12

I was put to sleep at 11w 4d.. if SHE is not the one that100% wants to abort, its the wrong descision. I was pressured and regretted it, and still even cry about it 6 yrs later.( I was 18)

Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7067 posts
21st Mar '12

can anyone answer my other question?



eta: nevermind, posted that too soon :) (the one about how they do abortions now)

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49343 posts
21st Mar '12

advice is hard in that situation. I think the best is to educate her on all the options. How old is she? If she DOES really want to keep it, there is government help to get her on her feet as well or help alleviate the cost on your parents. She also still has a bit of time before it's "too late" so she could look to see if there's a family willing to take care of costs until the baby is born and then adopt. Then as for the abortion maybe explain to her what they will do, and just offer her support of a shoulder whenever's needed.

Wickedmaryjane 1 child; Maryland 2320 posts
21st Mar '12

I think it's possible for a young person to mature a bit after giving birth to a child.



My sister was 13 when she got pregnant, realized she was having a baby but didn't realize it was coming out of her somehow. (I'm serious) She said after she had her, she was like, 'I have a baby!!!!' She had my niece a when she was 13!!



And she was there, mostly for my niece. the grandparents spoiled her and the baby.

Zachary and Joshua's momm Due June 19 (boy); 17 kids; Calgary, Alberta 1731 posts
21st Mar '12

I don't have any advice other than to love and support her no matter what he decision. She will need everyone's support regardless.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
21st Mar '12

At 12 weeks the only option is the suction. There are programs she can get on and things like that to help her out financially. Just tell her you will support her no matter what and she should decide for herself what she wants to do.

tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15543 posts
22nd Mar '12
Quoting Silly Mily's Momma ♡:" can anyone answer my other question? eta: nevermind, posted that too soon :) (the one about how they do abortions now)"


They will put her to sleep and she wont hear anything.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
22nd Mar '12
Quoting Silly Mily's Momma ♡:" my step sister is about 12 weeks pregnant & she has an abortion scheduled for friday. she talked ... [snip!] ... the sound of them suctioning the baby out of her & it still gives her chills. how do they do abortions now at 12-ish weeks?"


All you can really do is just support her and tell her to make the best decision for the situation. It sounds from your post that this is the best descision. Just be encouraging and be there to listen as she goes on an emotional roller coaster.

Tamara♥Addison 1 child; Erlanger, Kentucky 11309 posts
22nd Mar '12

They will suction it out.



As for advice just be there for her and make sure she has everything she needs and if she needs someone just to talk act lik you care even if you don't.be attentive. Show her love ,she will need it.