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My Little Bessie United Kingdom 27582 posts
29th Mar '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" i have said that to them...ive never said im not your mom because i didnt give birth to you ...but ... [snip!] ... them...i also need to learn to be more affectionate to them...i try to be lovey dovey to them but it never comes out right..."


Its a hard situation, teens are hard work at the best of times but when there is extra emotional baggage it takes its toll on everyone. I hope you all find a peaceful resolve.

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
29th Mar '12
Quoting Bovine Burlesque:" That is the worst thing she could say, what she should counter with is "I may not have grown you and ... [snip!] ... that she is not their mom will not help the situation she needs to make them realise that giving birth does not make you a mom."


:!::!::!:

3FutureMrs.F3 Due December 19; 19 kids; Texas 1693 posts
29th Mar '12

I havent read this whole thing...but coming from a child whose mom took off when i was 8 and up until then was still sketchy I know how your stepchildren feel...also my poor step mom had to walk into the same type of situation when i was 15 yrs old and you bet your ass my dads 5 kids are treated completely different that her two. Im 25 now and it still hurts sometimes when i see her sisters and mom (step aunt step grandma) Taking them out to dinner or shopping sp3xsrees while my 16 yr old sister sits at home. When i was still at home my punishments where 3Xs worse than her kids and my dad brushed it off until my little sister started going through the same thing....As step children they will scrutinize everything you do..they will compare every little thing...especially after everything they went though...be consistant...on everything like the other ladies said..IF YOU CANT BUY EVERY CHILD AN ITEM NO ONE NEEDS ONE!!! Same thing goes to your sisters...they should understand...YOU are all they have and goddamit they will fight but ill tell ya what when they get older and have kids they will realize how badly you fought to show them you love them. My family never had counseling and I think we should have...of course we never cursed or talked back ot my stepmom because my dad would kill us lol SO PLEASE GET COUNSELING!! Even if they dont want it and want to go into their room keep getting it...theyll come around eventually...just dont give up hun trust me theyll figure it out..and bailing just shows them that they were right...everyone bails...My stepmom and I are still a little strained but only because of the way she treats my sister...but I do know she loves me and my brothers...in fact she walked me down the aisle on my wedding day because lets face it we may not always agree but shes my mom ya know? Lol

3FutureMrs.F3 Due December 19; 19 kids; Texas 1693 posts
29th Mar '12

I havent read this whole thing...but coming from a child whose mom took off when i was 8 and up until then was still sketchy I know how your stepchildren feel...also my poor step mom had to walk into the same type of situation when i was 15 yrs old and you bet your ass my dads 5 kids are treated completely different that her two. Im 25 now and it still hurts sometimes when i see her sisters and mom (step aunt step grandma) Taking them out to dinner or shopping sp3xsrees while my 16 yr old sister sits at home. When i was still at home my punishments where 3Xs worse than her kids and my dad brushed it off until my little sister started going through the same thing....As step children they will scrutinize everything you do..they will compare every little thing...especially after everything they went though...be consistant...on everything like the other ladies said..IF YOU CANT BUY EVERY CHILD AN ITEM NO ONE NEEDS ONE!!! Same thing goes to your sisters...they should understand...YOU are all they have and goddamit they will fight but ill tell ya what when they get older and have kids they will realize how badly you fought to show them you love them. My family never had counseling and I think we should have...of course we never cursed or talked back ot my stepmom because my dad would kill us lol SO PLEASE GET COUNSELING!! Even if they dont want it and want to go into their room keep getting it...theyll come around eventually...just dont give up hun trust me theyll figure it out..and bailing just shows them that they were right...everyone bails...My stepmom and I are still a little strained but only because of the way she treats my sister...but I do know she loves me and my brothers...in fact she walked me down the aisle on my wedding day because lets face it we may not always agree but shes my mom ya know? Lol

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
29th Mar '12
Quoting -BLT-:" Don't buy things for only your kids!!! If your sis buys things just for your kids, tell the children ... [snip!] ... pull the 'you're not my mom' thing, say you're right, I'm not. But I'm in charge of you and I love you like a mother should. "


You cant always say ''buy things for all the children so none are resentful''....if the kid is being disrespectful then they dont deserve a reward! ......everything is a two way street. These kids are old enough to know that actions carry consequences. I have 5 children and very rarely do they all get a present or reward at the same time, if their behavior doesnt warrant it......

-BLT- Due May 20; 1 child; St Louis, Missouri 2572 posts
29th Mar '12
Quoting 5 blessings so far....:" You cant always say ''buy things for all the children so none are resentful''....if the kid is being ... [snip!] ... have 5 children and very rarely do they all get a present or reward at the same time, if their behavior doesnt warrant it......"


I agree she shouldn't reward bad behavior, but I think she was just talking about a generic run to Target. She said she picks up things in the $1 bin for her children and the older kids are mad they didn't get anything. I whole-heartily agree that if the kid just bad mouthed her, don't give him a present... but I doubt your kids are feeling the same resentment already that her step-kids are dealing with.