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I know this might sound stupid.. ♥ my little ladybug Due May 18 (boy); 1 child; New Hampshire 966 posts
30th Mar '12

But I am having an abortion done next week. I will be a little over 13 weeks pregnant, and it's twins. It's a long, messed up situation that I don't have the energy or strength to try to explain right now, but my question is this: do you think if I asked them to tell me when I have the procedure done, if they could tell what the genders of the babies were, that they would? I just feel like I need to know.. or it is always going to eat away at me.

Binky ♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6236 posts
30th Mar '12

I have no idea, but if it were me I wouldnt want to know. Good luck to you hun, be strong, you can PM me if you need to. <3333

j.a.c 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Virginia 2165 posts
30th Mar '12

i don't think they can/will do that.. sorry you're going thru this.

kaitlinnegy 65 kids; Waldorf, Maryland 5344 posts
30th Mar '12
Quoting ♥ my little ladybug:" But I am having an abortion done next week. I will be a little over 13 weeks pregnant, and it's twins. ... [snip!] ... the genders of the babies were, that they would? I just feel like I need to know.. or it is always going to eat away at me."


personally i wouldnt ask because id keep growing attached to the babies because id give them names and just do things to eat me up inside.
and i dounbt they will be able to tell

♥ my little ladybug Due May 18 (boy); 1 child; New Hampshire 966 posts
30th Mar '12

I don't know why, but I just really feel like I want to know.. like it would help with the healing process in some way. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I'm scared shitless and torn apart inside about it... I just don't want them to think I'm stupid for asking.

Tom's wife & Emma's mommy 49 kids; Parkville, Maryland 1953 posts
30th Mar '12

For me I don't think I would want to know because it would just make me think of it more ....

Northbound 35 California 512 posts
30th Mar '12

I wouldn't do it, personally. But if you need to know, and it will help you heal, then you could ask.

aℓyssa Due October 21 (girl); 1 child; Manhattan, KS, United States 18875 posts
30th Mar '12

That is REALLY early, especially with twins, to be able to tell the sex - so, I'm sorry to say, but it more than likely won't happen.

EmmaGrace 3 kids; Ennis, Texas 27010 posts
30th Mar '12
Quoting ♥ my little ladybug:" I don't know why, but I just really feel like I want to know.. like it would help with the healing process ... [snip!] ... ever had to do and I'm scared shitless and torn apart inside about it... I just don't want them to think I'm stupid for asking."


sorry. :(

Binky ♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6236 posts
30th Mar '12
Quoting ♥ my little ladybug:" I don't know why, but I just really feel like I want to know.. like it would help with the healing process ... [snip!] ... ever had to do and I'm scared shitless and torn apart inside about it... I just don't want them to think I'm stupid for asking."

You're not stupid for asking, if they say no then they say no, but if you think it will help you heal in the long run it cant hurt to ask.

♥ my little ladybug Due May 18 (boy); 1 child; New Hampshire 966 posts
30th Mar '12

I'm always going to think of it anyway, and I'm already attached to them, so I don't think it will make it worse. I think it will just help me to know what I had growing inside of me and I would actually like to give them names... I just want to be able to honor them in some way in the future.

Nikkisblu 35 kids; Sunrise, Florida 855 posts
30th Mar '12

I thought the genders couldnt be seen until 15 weeks. You can always ask but they may not be able to tell you as they typically suction out the fetus and what comes out is more medical waste looking than a baby. I hope you've thought it through. Had one 12 years ago and think about that baby every day since. THinking that though my lifer would have been more difficult but I would have a 12 year old with me to enjoy all the wonderful things in our life.

Binky ♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6236 posts
30th Mar '12
Quoting ♥ my little ladybug:" I'm always going to think of it anyway, and I'm already attached to them, so I don't think it will make ... [snip!] ... inside of me and I would actually like to give them names... I just want to be able to honor them in some way in the future."

Even if you cant find out you can still give them unisex names and honor them in how you see fit, they still existed inside you even if they dont have a sex.

Northbound 35 California 512 posts
30th Mar '12
Quoting Nikkisblu:" I thought the genders couldnt be seen until 15 weeks. You can always ask but they may not be able to ... [snip!] ... my lifer would have been more difficult but I would have a 12 year old with me to enjoy all the wonderful things in our life."


Yeah, yeah. We all think about our abortions to this day, just like we all think about our live kids to this day. Nothing new under that sun. Move along.

Tom's wife & Emma's mommy 49 kids; Parkville, Maryland 1953 posts
30th Mar '12

:( sorry that you are having to go trough this . Is there any chance of adoption ? It seems like this is hurting you to do this .... I mean it's never easy for anyone but it feels like you are so hurt ....