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Having a heard time SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
31st Mar '12

As time goes on I am having a harder time dealing with the fact that I had an abortion..... It hurts so deep.... The reasons I found to have it don't seem legit anymore.... infact, I was pretty much "forced" into it.... doesn't make it feel any better.... and I'm wondering if I will ever feel better about it.....

Sonia Tuckerman 34 kids; Australia 855 posts
31st Mar '12
Quoting .........................:" As time goes on I am having a harder time dealing with the fact that I had an abortion..... It hurts ... [snip!] ... pretty much "forced" into it.... doesn't make it feel any better.... and I'm wondering if I will ever feel better about it....."


Hey there. I don't know where to start other than I know you are struggling atm from the posts you have made. Obviously I do not know you personally, but I do know you are normally cheerful, feisty at times and atm you are the complete opposite. How long ago did you have an abortion? Did BD force you into it? Were you in a good situation at the time of the abortion? How are you feeling about it now?

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
31st Mar '12
Quoting Sonia Tuckerman:" Hey there. I don't know where to start other than I know you are struggling atm from the posts you have ... [snip!] ... abortion? Did BD force you into it? Were you in a good situation at the time of the abortion? How are you feeling about it now?"


I had the abortion january 27th....4 days before the date I lose my son 2 years ago.... MY EDD was August 19th which happens to be my step-sister's EDD. My Birthday was august 26th my son's was the 28th? so now I have two days in August to mourn and two days in January.... I used to tell myself I KNOW it's better this way.... but it's not...



In all honesty... the emotions of those dates in part with the emotions of being stranded by, not "some dued", but the love of my life on top of the emotional empact of not being mentally, physically or emotionally ready, drove me to my decision.... all " good" reasons... but lately they don't feel "good" enough....

Sonia Tuckerman 34 kids; Australia 855 posts
31st Mar '12

Are you still with this man??
So at the time, it probably was the right decision, although now you feel like you have nothing. Have you seen anyone about how you are feeling? Honestly, I would be going to see your dr and get something to get you through these next few months. To help support your emotions. You should never feel and have to go through this on your own.



And I understand about your sister. My sister and I had our first children together, exactly 4 weeks apart. Then we both fell pregnant and were due 1 week apart. I miscarried on her sons birthday and she went on the carry a beautiful healthy girl. I was shattered. I had to watch my sister blossum in her pregnancy when it should have been both of us. It makes it terribly hard, and I coped by pulling away from her. Which is awful as we are really close. But I couldn't cope with seeing her, and her belly. But my SO was really good and listened whenever I needed to talk. Do you have that support???

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
31st Mar '12

I might get modded for this, but I don't care.
I don't care that you had an abortion, your choice.



But you WERE NOT f**king FORCED.
You were sad and lonely because that p***e o* s**t left you. Don't even f**king try to say you were forced.



FFS, Erin. You are disgusting.

Satan 5 kids; Satans Kingdom, Vermont 114758 posts
31st Mar '12

While technically no one forced you...your own psyche did in fact make you feel you had no other choices.
I'm sorry you felt that way...and i hope that nothing like this ever happens to you again.



No one should ever feel like their choices have been removed...even if by their own minds or circumstances.

sara elizabeth 1 child; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 3710 posts
31st Mar '12

You weren't forced into anything. You think having an abortion in the hopes that Andrew would come back is being forced into it...and it's not.



I'm sorry you had to go through that..I really am. It sucks to have an abortion and you feel like shit for a long time after.. But saying you were forced is taking it too far. It was your choice. You went back and forth about it and decided to go through with it..you decided..not anyone else.



It doesn't help the healing process to think that way. It will just make you bitter and upset. Accept the fact that you had the abortion because you thought that it was best for you and your daughter.. It's a lot easier to deal with that way..at least for me it was.

user banned Due July 1 (boy); 1 child; Holt, Florida 17 posts
31st Mar '12

Not here to really judge people,just stating how i feel I HATE ABORTIONS AND THINK THEY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL HERE ME OUT BE FORE YOA GET ALL MAD......They ruin people not just women but men too tobe fathers .Women are haunted and the sad part is most women didnt want to but partents made them or they felt pressured :(

I almost got one my family was pressuring me and the father was sad but i didnt want to be with him so he was going to help pay for it ,i purposfully waited untill i couldnt get one well get one the regular way(they said she was too big and i had to get it done the other way ,yeah right iwasnt going to get it done anyways i was just tricking everyone,my plans were to walk in and stay a while and walk out and still be pregnant i dont care if i wasted money it was worth getting everyone to SHUT THE f**k UP ABOUT IT .Not going to lie I WAS SCARRED BUT FELT PROUD AND GREAT LEAVING THAT EVIL CLINIC KNOWING THAT MY LITTLE GIRL WAS STILL GROWNING INSIDE ME!

To those who havt NOT gotten abortions DONT DO IT i've noticed how it has had an effect on family and friends the girls in my family seem more depressed that have done it same with friends then the ones who kept their babies, to those who have had abortion i hope you can forget!

sara elizabeth 1 child; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 3710 posts
31st Mar '12

That's your opinion..



I personally am glad I had one. There's no way I would be where I am today if I hadnt gone through with it. I wouldn't have been able to provide for that baby and wouldn't have been able to give a child up for adoption.



Call me selfish..whatever. I don't believe life starts at conception.



It's possible to have an abortion and be ok with it in time. If you're normal..you're going to be depressed and feel bad and think you did the wrong thing at times. I would be worried about myself if I hadn't felt bad about it. But..life goes on. It was something that needed to be done. I feel like..if people were meant to have a particular baby..they wouldn't have an abortion.

Piecey. Due May 13; 3 kids; K-Town, KL, Germany 64450 posts
status 31st Mar '12

dont quote modded posts. please delete the quote.

Bob Wehadababyitsaboy 3 kids; 4 angel babies; California 30142 posts
status 31st Mar '12

I'm so sorry hun, I remember your posts in AS and practically everyone was telling you to get an Abortion but they're not the ones dealing with the regret now. I'm so sorry you're going through this :(

KAILEELYNN Due July 23 (girl); Peoria, Illinois 15 posts
31st Mar '12

I had an abortion right after I turned 18, it was just a bad situation. Bad timing, bad relationship, bad everything. I was nowhere mentally prepared for it. And then a few months later I was pregnant again, different everything and I ended up having a miscarriage. I'm turning 20 soon, and I am about to have a baby girl in July! But when I had mine, I felt like I was forced into, too. I cried for a long, long time. I felt so ashamed about it. For the longest time I told my two best friends I miscarried... But it DOES get better, I promise! It will take a little bit of time. Everytime happens for a reason. Keep your head up! Try and do some positive things to get your mind off of it. If you can help it try not to be alone for long periods of time, if you find yourself dwelling on it.

sara elizabeth 1 child; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 3710 posts
31st Mar '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Me Gusta:</b>" dont quote modded posts. please delete the quote."</blockquote>




Sorry. It wasn't modded when I quoted.

Legacy'sMom Due December 24; 1 child; Ontario 70 posts
3rd Apr '12

i think you will always regret it, but if it were me i would do some things to bring closure and help myself heal. if it were me, i might write the baby i lost a letter to say goodbye. think about what would bring you closure.