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Ladies who's husbands are prior service.. Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12

How did you handle the transition back to civilian life?



Did you and/or your husband have a job waiting when you moved back to your home of record?




I'm having a really hard time right now, and need some people to talk to that have been in this situation.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
2nd Apr '12

we didnt make it. He couldnt handle the transition. My cousin gave him a job but then fired him. So he lost it. I tried for 2 years but he still was having problems. so we just didnt make it. Sorry I couldnt be more help.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" we didnt make it. He couldnt handle the transition. My cousin gave him a job but then fired him. So he ... [snip!] ... So he lost it. I tried for 2 years but he still was having problems. so we just didnt make it. Sorry I couldnt be more help."

Did he rejoin?

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
2nd Apr '12

We moved back home and he's a fireman now

Elle With FOUR! 4 kids; Wichita, KS, United States 18964 posts
2nd Apr '12

My current SO has no military background, but, I went through this transition with my ex (children's father). He had no job waiting, nor did he have any desire to get one - I busted my ass to find a job at home, while he just planned on sitting on unemployment as long as they'd let him. When that ran out, he made the suggestion that he stay at home with the kids and take care of them while I work since I was already settled into my job. Worked out ok for a couple months, at which point he decided to go back to school.



It is a VERY stressful time of transition. But how shitty it is, depends entirely on how you and SO handle stress and how you respond to the needs of each other and your family.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting Always♥Faithful:" Did he rejoin?"


I wanted him to. He went through everything to rejoin but couldnt get the MOS he wanted. That and his family said they would disown him. He couldnt rejoin to disappoint them. He was so much happier in. I think we would have made it had he rejoined.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting Elle With Three:" My current SO has no military background, but, I went through this transition with my ex (children's ... [snip!] ... shitty it is, depends entirely on how you and SO handle stress and how you respond to the needs of each other and your family."


I've been in tears nearly all day with the thoughts of failing.



My husband is in a pool of future employment candidates with the CSX railroad, but that could take a year to receive a position. I plan on going back to school, but I just want to kick myself in the ass bc I feel so worthless. I'm so worried.

AuriellesMom 2 kids; Colorado 335 posts
2nd Apr '12

I met my husband when first got out 3 years ago and he hated it he had like 7 different jobs in the years he was out and ended up re-joining

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" I wanted him to. He went through everything to rejoin but couldnt get the MOS he wanted. That and his ... [snip!] ... disown him. He couldnt rejoin to disappoint them. He was so much happier in. I think we would have made it had he rejoined."


I so badly want a normal life again, but it's the thought of starting over with nothing that makes me so uneasy. I don't want to fail, but I feel like it's bound to happen.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
2nd Apr '12

Ok so now that I have a baby off the b**b I can explain this better.



I met my ex husband while he was in and he was involved with the first wave when we invaded Iraq and Fallujah. He did get injured during his last year of service, and at that time he had already extended to go back to Iraq which is where he got injured twice(blown up). So when the end neared, he didn't know what to do. He did not have a job waiting for him back home, and his MOS in the Marines was an infantryman. So all he really knew how to do was pick people off. My cousin who married a marine had her husband give him a job. We got married and then right when we found out we got an apartment and were pregnant, my cousin fired him. No joke. He was starting school in two weeks, and I had to work to support our family while he rode it out on unemployment. The transition for him didn't work very well, he wanted to reenlist, and did everything to reenlist but his family didn't support him. I tried to tell him that me and his kid would always be there for him and he kept pushing us away. He didn't hand the transition at all and refused to go to the PTSD counselors at the VA. Said he didn't need them. It finally got to the point where he actually said he was ready to go out into the yard and shoot himself in the head to make the misery end. It was at that point, for the safety of me and the baby we moved and waited, but he never came back.



NOW 6 years later. He's finally feeling good about everything and has finally transitioned well. It really came the past 2 years that he started feeling better about where he's at. But he still doesn't have a job, he is attempting school, but he still can't handle going to school, working and being a parent.



I still say that if he was in and able to transition better, we'd probably still be together, but he just couldn't transition and didn't want help with transitioning.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
2nd Apr '12

Hmm my husband is still in the marines but gets out in January and I'm nervous about it but to me military life is no different then civilian life. It's a job and there are more out there. You can see if he's interested I'm being law enforcement. They like to take people with military background. My husband is thinking about becoming a US Marshal

Elle With FOUR! 4 kids; Wichita, KS, United States 18964 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting Always♥Faithful:" I've been in tears nearly all day with the thoughts of failing. My husband is in a pool of future ... [snip!] ... a position. I plan on going back to school, but I just want to kick myself in the ass bc I feel so worthless. I'm so worried."


All stressing out is going to do, is cause some unnessicary grey hairs. Don't let yourself feel worthless for going back to school - if you were worthless, you wouldn't be worried about a thing, you'd be content to scrape by, instead of being proactive and trying to plan things.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" Ok so now that I have a baby off the b**b I can explain this better. I met my ex husband while he was ... [snip!] ... to transition better, we'd probably still be together, but he just couldn't transition and didn't want help with transitioning."


Wow, that's tough.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting Andrea Schneider:" Hmm my husband is still in the marines but gets out in January and I'm nervous about it but to me military ... [snip!] ... being law enforcement. They like to take people with military background. My husband is thinking about becoming a US Marshal"


You're right, there are more jobs out there. The only plus is the military is a stable paycheck with benefits. There's good and bad on both sides of course. Those two things can't nearly make up for the time we gain as a family.



It wasn't until this week that I started worrying. Up until then I was so ready for him to get out.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21639 posts
2nd Apr '12
Quoting Elle With Three:" All stressing out is going to do, is cause some unnessicary grey hairs. Don't let yourself feel worthless ... [snip!] ... you wouldn't be worried about a thing, you'd be content to scrape by, instead of being proactive and trying to plan things."


You're right.



I just hate taking a huge step back. We are going to be moving back into my parent's house to get back on our feet, and they both recently lost their jobs (both work together and their job relocated). Seeing them struggle and now being on the verge of struggling ourselves is causing enough grey hairs.