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Not happy about this. (Long) BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
6th Apr '12

I found out in the beginning of March that I was pregnant. I am 20 and married with a home and 2 cars. My husband and I had just bought him a Mustang. So not the family car. And I was so excited about being able to find a part time job and starting university in the fall. And now that dream is gone. Im stuck at a job I dont like. Im having to give up university for community college. And we only have on vehicle that could comfortably carry a child. Im so upset about this pregnancy. We only had unprotected sex 2 times. I was between bc. And no everything I was so excited for is gone. I wont even be able to celebrate my 21st birthday. (Not a big deal I know but I was excited about drinking the wine at Olive Garden.) When the test turned positive, I cried hysterically for a good hour. Then when my husband got home I had another crying fit. I dont feel like I want this baby. Ive never seen myself getting an abortion, but it crosses my mind ALL the time now. My husband is excited about the baby, but I just cant catch his enthusiasm. Someone please help me get excited about this child. I dont know how we are going to do this. We already live paycheck to paycheck. My husband thinks its just hormones and stress making me feel like this but idk.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49006 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" I found out in the beginning of March that I was pregnant. I am 20 and married with a home and 2 cars. ... [snip!] ... do this. We already live paycheck to paycheck. My husband thinks its just hormones and stress making me feel like this but idk."


Have u thought of adoption.... Also we only have one family car as well. I will have 2 kids in june and my car can not hold 2 seats so we got a van. If SO is taking people to work and getting gas money he takes the van. If i have my son and were going places he will leave the van to me and fit them all in the car.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
6th Apr '12

Why would a baby not fit in a mustang? it's fine, it has a backseat.



If you don't want the baby, talk to your husband about it. You don't have to give up everything, there's nothing wrong with community college, it might just take a little longer. and yeah, you'll miss your birthday, but now you'll be legal drinking age permanently and can go out whenever. someone can watch LO so you can have your birthday another time.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5649 posts
6th Apr '12

I felt the same way when i found out i was pregnant this time. I balled my eyes out. I just wasnt ready, i am still in college and want to finish. I already have a 3 year old and i just worry how i can afford to pay for someone to babysit 2 children so i can finish school. My hubby works alot so he cant help watching our kids unless its a weekend. We also live paycheck to paycheck and are struggling now. I want to start preparing and buying diapers now but i cant even do that. I have gotten happier about the pregnancy just over time. After seeing the ultrasound, and hearing the heart beat its nice to know a part of me is growing and will be here soon. Its very stressful thinking about though but things happen for a reason and i think it will all work out. Give it time and try not to think too many negative things about the baby. Dont keep dwelling on all your worries, like when i get negative thoughts i try thinking of the good about having a baby.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49006 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting Achapm06:" I felt the same way when i found out i was pregnant this time. I balled my eyes out. I just wasnt ready, ... [snip!] ... baby. Dont keep dwelling on all your worries, like when i get negative thoughts i try thinking of the good about having a baby."

Jokes aside have u looked into buying cloth or even some used one's? I have cloth and once my son is out of diapers im going back i dont have the money for diapers any more and love my cloth but i live with my mom who thinks im nuts for cloth diapering.

Wolverine Due April 16; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Lake City, Michigan 37236 posts
6th Apr '12

You still have a little time to think things through. If you don't think you and your SO are able to raise a baby, sit down and discuss it with him. If you think your best option would be to terminate, tell him so, but please be compassionate to his feelings also.



It must be hard to feel that you want an abortion but your SO is excited for a baby. That makes for a very tough decision.



We here on BG can't help you get excited about a baby lol.



If you truly want to try to get happy about it, try going to visit someone with a new baby, go baby shopping (just browse), or go through baby name books. If you still feel like you could handle a child at this time, discuss it with your SO.

Stef ♥Gru41weeks Due June 23; 51 kids; United Kingdom 2095 posts
6th Apr '12

Hey sorry to hear about your situation. It can be hard to get yourself around the thought of being pregnant when it wasn't planned and you have ambitions. I was there 3 years ago. Had decided no to anymore after trying to get DH to agree to a third for ages. And whilst on the bc pill I fell pregnant. I was in tears as I felt that was it, that I was being prevented to move forward. DH was very excited and said we would be fine. It is hard when it is not them being constrained. I feel children can sometimes put your life on hold but then if you are determined enough you can have anything you want. I finally took the plunge and I am now studying for a degree and have decided whilst doing that now is the best time to have our fourth. By the time I am qualified I will have my children in schooling. I have even encouraged to get my husband to start his degree in September whilst he is still working full time. I am aim to be in part time work once our fourth is 6 months old. Your DH sounds like a very supporting man and I think as long as you talk with each other and try to help each other reach their ambitions then having this baby can work out. Don't get me wrong it will be harder but it can be done.



Best thing to do is talk through these feelings with you DH. He mayy be able to put worries to rest for you. I am sure whichever option you choose it will be the right one for you. Good luck with everything.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5649 posts
6th Apr '12

Also we just bought a mustang a couple weeks ago, and yes it makes me feel like chlosterphobic (sp) and has a tiny backseat but it does fit our toddler car seat in it and is do-able, and will fit our baby car seat when we have our baby. No its not exactly a "family" car but will work :)

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5649 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting 03751908485:" Jokes aside have u looked into buying cloth or even some used one's? I have cloth and once my son is ... [snip!] ... i dont have the money for diapers any more and love my cloth but i live with my mom who thinks im nuts for cloth diapering. "

I dont know ive never used them, i actually used them for burp cloths though lol I mean dont you have to wash them and that will use up gas/electric using the washer and dryer. I just dont have time to do extra laundry, i barely have time for all our normal laundry.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
6th Apr '12

My SO would never agree to an abortion or adoption. He fully believes that we can do this. He thinks everything happens for a reason. And as for the car thing, the infant car seat fits, but just barely. Idk how a bigger one will fit. Ive been around babies. My mom has 4 month old twins that I love to death. I love to take care of them and play with them and just be around them. But I dont see how we can afford a child and give a baby everything he/she needs and deserves. With college, I want to be a neonatalogist. Thats 10 years of schooling already. Ive been out of school for the past 2 years for financial reasons and now its going to take even longer. I just dont know how I am going to juggle everything and afford everything.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting 03751908485:" Jokes aside have u looked into buying cloth or even some used one's? I have cloth and once my son is ... [snip!] ... i dont have the money for diapers any more and love my cloth but i live with my mom who thinks im nuts for cloth diapering. "


I have actually decided to cloth diaper. My husband thinks Im crazy but we really have no other choice. We cant afford disposable.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49006 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting Achapm06:" I dont know ive never used them, i actually used them for burp cloths though lol I mean dont you have ... [snip!] ... using the washer and dryer. I just dont have time to do extra laundry, i barely have time for all our normal laundry."


my moms bill i think went up 5 bucks when i did them here, I have a sprayer on my toilet and spray the off and was them with publix free and clear. But it does save. But i just thought i might throw it out there for you.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49006 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" I have actually decided to cloth diaper. My husband thinks Im crazy but we really have no other choice. We cant afford disposable."


Alva baby's are cheep and last, i use flips and econobums and then i have some covers by squishy butt so i have some cute one's for my son.

Stef ♥Gru41weeks Due June 23; 51 kids; United Kingdom 2095 posts
6th Apr '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" My SO would never agree to an abortion or adoption. He fully believes that we can do this. He thinks ... [snip!] ... reasons and now its going to take even longer. I just dont know how I am going to juggle everything and afford everything."</blockquote>



Definetely sit down with your DH and go through all these concerns. I would suggest doing an income and outgoing sheet for now and one to see how having this child will impact on your finances. That will give you a clear idea of your money situation. Then look into how it will affext your ambitions. Tbh if your qualification will take 10 years anyway what will another year or so matter. And you may find once you have the child you work harder to get yourself qualified faster. You really need to talk to your DH especially if he is against abortion and adoption. From what you say he seems very supportive and he may highlight how you could both make it work.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5649 posts
6th Apr '12
Quoting 03751908485:" my moms bill i think went up 5 bucks when i did them here, I have a sprayer on my toilet and spray ... [snip!] ... the off and was them with publix free and clear. But it does save. But i just thought i might throw it out there for you. "

Thanks i might consider, it would definately save money.