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user banned California 29193 posts
Apr 6th '12
Quoting Baylee398:" Would u marry a man who was not financially stable even if he is loving, loyal ect..? Heres what i ... [snip!] ... But for me it just doesn't cut it. Financial troubles cause problems in a marriage even though he is loyal, loving ect..."


Depends on why he's not financially stable--is he just chronically irresponsible with money, like a big spender with a small income? Then no. But if he was unstable because he was in school, or going through a career change, or even had been laid off from a forever job...then yes, absolutely. Because the latter are all short-term, and if he had other outstanding qualities then he would still be more than worth me picking up the slack for a while. :D

user banned 1 child; Golden, Colorado 28482 posts
Apr 6th '12
Quoting ♥Bug & Bubba♥:" Yes... Because shit happens. Even if he was financially stable when getting married, it doesn't mean he will be forever...."


This.



My SO has custody of a son and doesn't accept child support from his ex. He struggles. He works his ass off to put himself through college and his career will not make a lot of money. Neither will mine. We will struggle together. He struggles all the time. But ya know what? He works his ASS off for his child. He has had custody since day one. He has stepped up as a man more than most woman do. He has been my best friend for almost half my life. He has been there for me when my daughters father hasn't been. That means WAY more than freaking money to me.



He bought his own house, and it isnt a mansion. He still struggles. He lives a meager life. There are times he is scrapping change for food and is eating spaghetti days in a row for dinner. But I want to marry him because the money in the bank doesnt mean shit to me... him being financially stable doesnt mean more than what he gives me in my heart and brain.



He's my best friend and soulmate... that means more than money. We can be poor together :)

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11613 posts
Apr 6th '12

Honestly, I'll get a lot of crap for this, but no. I've been there and done that and each time it was because the guy simply didn't have their shit together. Their priorities were fucked and they were in debt. I was with one man for two years and he had people constantly calling him looking for payments on a five year old hospital bill or a credit card from three years before. It was ridiculous and it stressed both of us out so much. I ended up shouldering most of our costs and that made me completely and utterly broke. It was awful and I would never wanna do it again, especially not with a child.



I think it says a lot about a person if they can't have their finances in order. Does it make them a bad person? Of course not. Does it mean they probably have their priorities out of whack and aren't good with budgeting? You bet.

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11613 posts
Apr 6th '12
Quoting First Time Go:" Depends on why he's not financially stable--is he just chronically irresponsible with money, like a ... [snip!] ... and if he had other outstanding qualities then he would still be more than worth me picking up the slack for a while. :D"

This too. It does make a difference as to why he's financially unstable.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
Apr 8th '12
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Honestly, I'll get a lot of crap for this, but no. I've been there and done that and each time it was ... [snip!] ... person? Of course not. Does it mean they probably have their priorities out of whack and aren't good with budgeting? You bet. "


your raptor jesus avi cracks me up... mostly because of the irony. You always have extremely well thought out and well said posts. Then your crazy avi makes me laugh

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
Apr 8th '12

I agree with Snglemama.



I'm a fan, Raptor

user banned Japan 41 posts
Feb 10th '13

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Sherri + 3 LLC 3 kids; Mesa, Arizona 3758 posts
Feb 10th '13

Yes. My DH was not financially stable when I met him. I fell in love with him and I was gonna ride it out no matter which way it went. We have never really been financially stable. We get by, but that is about it. I would not change it for the world. He has been worth all the aggravation.

Kay plus Three 3 kids; Hillsborough, New Hampshire 6101 posts
Feb 10th '13

I did. We got married last summer. In the four years we have been together, I have been the primary bread winner. Yeah he's had jobs here and there, but he's in the construction field and let's face it, that's a shitty industry right now. Now that we have three kids, even if he gets a job, it has to pay a certain amount to even bother because of daycare costs.

*KatteyBug* 2 kids; My City, AL, United States 2701 posts
Feb 10th '13
Quoting Libertarian ♥:" I married my husband and we only had what we could carry in a suitcase. I'm 26 and bought my house ... [snip!] ... a tough time in the beginning, because if you can't make it through money problems, you won't make it through the long haul."


This for me. My husband isn't financially stable yet, but we have no debt and he just now found a job. But he is still a great husband and although he wants me to be SAHM (which I am at the moment cause I'm 9 months pregnant lol) He knows that once little bit is here I may have to start working again and he's okay with that.
We've been through so much already in the two years we have been a couple and are still struggling to get on our feet but it's worth it. Every hardship we've been through so far has brought us closer, but we also have a lot of emotional and atm some financial support from family to help us through.



So yeah I would/did marry someone financially unstable, and yeah it's super hard but totally worth it for us.

♥Simply Whitney♥ Due May 10 (girl); 1 child; Australia 952 posts
Feb 10th '13

When I got married we came home to no job, no house, no car. My husband lost his job just before we got married. Luckily his sister let us move in with her. She also bought our car outright and we paid her back. My husband found a job pretty quickly though. But there was no way I wasn't going to marry him because he had no job, car, or house... We spent too many years not being together.

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Feb 11th '13

I would never marry a man that would expect me to be a SAHM ... whether he was financially stable or not.

Lin Brown TTC since May 2015; 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1941 posts
Feb 11th '13

I did marry a man that isn't financially stable, but he is also working and is in school so I can be a SAHM. even if he was financially stable when we first got together, like others have said, shit happens and he can go from having this awesome job and a big house, to having nothing at all. If you can't afford to be a SAHM then get a job yourself, no man is going to put a gun to your head and make you stay home and even if he did then why are you in the relationship? even if he expects you to stay home, you have a mouth and can say no.

EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
Feb 11th '13
Quoting Baylee398:" Would u marry a man who was not financially stable even if he is loving, loyal ect..? Heres what i ... [snip!] ... But for me it just doesn't cut it. Financial troubles cause problems in a marriage even though he is loyal, loving ect..."


My parents didn't have alot of money when we were little. They both felt that my mom staying home with us was important though..so my mom opend an in home daycare and actually made quite a bit of money. My dad eventually ended up getting a much better job and she could quit that eventually. But they made it work.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
Feb 11th '13

My SO has a stable job where his over time goes directly to bills/rent (His boss owns our home) so the 500+ tips he makes weekly is enough for me to be a STHM. BUT his credit was ruined by his father, and then he inheireted(sp?) his fathers debt on top of what debt he had. And my credit was ruined a while back by my mother before I was even old enough to have "credit" didn't know that was possible. So he's stable but we're not getting married until our "debt/credit" is fixed.