***Don't quote!!!!*** Don't quote!!!*** Don't quote!***
So I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. At first I was scared. This is our second. We have a 20-month-old now and he's wild but show me one that isn't. Then my SO started talking shit about how he wasn't ready for another one and how it isn't his choice on whether or not we should keep it. I have been trying to be more positive about it. I didn't want one as early either and I'm not particularly thrilled about it just the same but I'm been trying to be optimistic about it. Then the more we would talk about it and the less happy he would seem, the madder he would get... the harder it was to stay optimistic. I broke down and started crying. I don't know if I should have an abortion or keep it.
No one is excited but I don't know if that is normal for your second. We live with his father which is cool. I have to put up with some of his shit but it's not that bad. Well we are moving into a house where LO gets his own room but we are splitting the cost with FIL and his gf. We are on the lease, just like we are here. SO is getting better hours. They switched him to the night shift and now he gets a lot of over time. Plus he is wanted to go to this school that takes 9 weeks and he graduates as an electrician technichian and will make 15 or so an hour. I work as well but maybe we can manage something so that I can stay home with the kids.
We told our family. Close family only. They just tell us are you ready? It's going to be so hard? I know it's going to be hard. I know this. Can one person be happy for us! Just one. Then I think of having my son and another one and I'm scared. I hope my SO can get his act together. I don't know.
I don't know if I should get an abortion? Shouldn't I respect his feelings about it as well? Shouldn't men have the right to choose too?
I don't think I can. I think it would be too hard for me.
***Please be respectful. Don't be rude. I'm just lost and I need support right now.****
DON'T QUOTE!! DON'T QUOTE!!! DON'T QUOTE!!!
I believe men should have a say...but that's me.
I'm happy for you if it means anything. :)
If you don't think you can do it then don't and no I don't think they get that much of a say in it however if he will make it harder on you if you keep it then that would be a factor. I was scared to tell anyone I was pregnant 2 years ago (ended in mc) because I kept hearing that we don't need another one. But when I got pregnant with littlest LO everyone got happy. Its like they needed time to process it or something. Only you know whats right for you. But if SO is going to be an ass about it and not talk it through like adults, maybe the baby isn't the problem??
Quoting sueforizzle:" I believe men should have a say...but that's me. I'm happy for you if it means anything. :)"
I think they should too but I don't think I could stay with him afterwards.
Bottom line, it's your choice and no one elses. If he doesn't like it, show him the door. Do what you know in your heart is right; whatever that may be. Don't let someone else influence your decision.
Quoting LABXGL:" If you don't think you can do it then don't and no I don't think they get that much of a say in it however ... [snip!] ... right for you. But if SO is going to be an ass about it and not talk it through like adults, maybe the baby isn't the problem??"
That's what I am saying!! (In my head of course) If I got an abortion. I wouldn't stay with him because of that...
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" I think they should too but I don't think I could stay with him afterwards."
I understand believe me. After the abortion a few months after dd's birth....If I ever see his face again It'll also be the last breath he takes.
YOUR body. You have way more of a say than anyone! (and i mean it is your call) Don't be bullied into a decision you don't want for yourself.
No one was very congratulatory with my second (family, I mean). I think that can be somewhat 'normal' when you get pregnant while the first is still small.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
---Edited for clarity
well i have to say make a pro and con list of whatever you want to do. gl.
I got your back on this one love. I know that feeling. I thought I was pregnant like 6 month ago and freaked out. I thought that I was a failure for getting pregnant when my son had just turned 2. Then when I found out that I actually wasnt pregnant, I got sad that I wasnt. I realized that I really love my son, and I am a bad ass mom. That one more baby is not as bad as I made it sound. That even though things would be hard its what I wanted. here I am pregnant for real, and my family asks are you ready. I ignore them, as its my decision. Your family will come around. They are just taking it all in.
As far the abortion goes, I think that it is both of your choices. Obviously he cant force you to get one, but I think you should listen to his feelings about the whole thing. I am not for abortion. However, I would be scared to bring a child into the world where the dad wasnt 100% supportive. You both need to be on the same page, as you will both be raising this baby.
If you wouldn't stay with him because of that maybe your whole relationship needs reevaluated. Do what your heart tells you, not because he says or anyone else says IRL or on BG, none of that matters, all that matters is what you want. It may be hard to have both kids, but its not impossible.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Tasha129:</b>" Bottom line, it's your choice and no one elses. If he doesn't like it, show him the door. Do what you know in your heart is right; whatever that may be. Don't let someone else influence your decision."</blockquote>
I think that men have the right to be listened to, and for their opinion to be considered, but in the end this baby is in YOUR body. No woman should feel pressured into getting abortion if it isn't want they want. I would imagine that would be a relationship killer down the road. How could you not resent him?
He may be upset about it now, but maybe just keep working on him? I mean if you really want this baby, and refuse an abortion, soon it will become REAL. Right now, it's just an idea. Once he sees your belly start to grow, feels the kicks, sees the ultrasound photos, maybe he'll come around.
And if he doesn't, maybe the relationship is doomed anyway. Even if a husband disagrees with his wife's decision, he should respect it 100%.
Sorry you're going through this. I'm sure it will get easier, some things just take a while to figure out.
I have a 14 month old and am 5 months pregnant. It came as a surprise to us as well, but I just couldn't see myself giving it up or getting an abortion. So, I know it will be a crazy time for awhile, but I'm prepared for it. A couple of gray hairs are way better than the alternative, to me. In the end, it's up to how you feel and the decision you know you're going to be able to live with! Good luck.
We weren't expexting to get pregnant with our last baby. We now have 3 kids that are each 13 months apart. I wasn't sure how I felt at first about being pregnant but knew that I wanted it after it sunk in. My husband on the other hand thought we should get an abortion, that we couldn't handle another baby so soon. After some time he slowly started to be ok with it. Now he couldn't imagine not having her. Its a choice only you can make and its really up to you on weather you want to take his opinion into account.