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Getting Over your "Baby's Daddy" Miss Mariah's Mom 49 kids; Dallas, Texas 745 posts
18th Apr '12

( I chose to say my child's father but for sake of a title...lol)



Any who, I am having a hard time "starting over"...."letting go" of my soon to be 1 yr old daughter's father. we broke up a little over a yr ago, but for 2 yrs we have been sexually involved. At the present time we live together (i needed more rental history to be built and him and his sister asked to all get a place together to help me with that....his idea.) and have been still "physically involved". However he does the most disrespectful things. He is rude/inconsiderate stays out all night and doesn't come home, he is calling other women and texting them (he is on my sprint cell phone contract so i can see his call log....i'm guilty! ) & I pay the bill most months, because his employment status is soo iffy at times....and he rarely has the money to give me for his part.... He is really protective over me though...controlling almost. Every time I'm on twitter, instagram (or any social network), or even in my phone, he calls me a "bopper" (which is a flirt basically in slang terms) and says that I am talking to guys....he even went thru my phone and saw messages on Facebook that three guys sent me and went OFF on them from his facebook telling them to stay away.! I don't want to be in love with him anymore. It's unhealthy. He's really mean and cruel to me and just wishes to control me, but i can't help but love him because he used to be so different and i've had so much hope that he'd bring that man back to me for my daughter and I. But he hasn't....I know I need to move on. Someone who is mentally/verbally abusive and controlling is not healthy for her nor me....But i don't know how. Every time I say in my head that I will let go, I don't. I get choked up. .....



If you guys had to break away from your baby's fathers, how did you do it?



PLEASE HELP! I'm so depressed. :cry::?

The Pretty Poodle™ 1 child; Illinois 7341 posts
18th Apr '12

You gotta stop boning him sweetie lol...

Miss Mariah's Mom 49 kids; Dallas, Texas 745 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting Blacky Bo Peep
"The Boob" [HM] 2 kids; Kingman, Arizona 15714 posts
18th Apr '12

I don't think you will really be able to emotionally detach until you move out. I wouldn't be able to.

The Pretty Poodle™ 1 child; Illinois 7341 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting Miss Mariah's Mom:" I Knowwww! I've mainly only kept doing it because I don't feel ready to move on sexually just yet. "

Sex is a BIG emotional attatchment. That would be my first step.

AlyShy 2 kids; Rhode Island 2302 posts
18th Apr '12

You BOTH have issues, not to sound rude



You have no business controlling what he does and what girl he speaks to and he has no right controlling you and your life. You two aren't together so it doesn't matter. I think its going to be impossible to get over him with you all under the same roof, ESPECIALLY having sexual intercourse

sweetbea Z&D my loves 1 child; Houston, Texas 3252 posts
18th Apr '12

lol at bopper when you love some one its hard I think you wont be able to fully move on until yall live seperately

The Pretty Poodle™ 1 child; Illinois 7341 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting alyju:" You BOTH have issues, not to sound rude You have no business controlling what he does and what girl ... [snip!] ... I think its going to be impossible to get over him with you all under the same roof, ESPECIALLY having sexual intercourse"

Yes mam!!

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
18th Apr '12

You need to stop having sex with him first of all. Just because your not ready to have sex with other people doesn't mean you need to keep having sex with him. Neither you or him should care about what the other is doing since yall aren't together. And when he starts talking about who you are talking to and whatever else inform him that it isn't any of his business since you are not together anymore.

Miss Mariah's Mom 49 kids; Dallas, Texas 745 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting Blacky Bo Peep
Miss Mariah's Mom 49 kids; Dallas, Texas 745 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting alyju:" You BOTH have issues, not to sound rude You have no business controlling what he does and what girl ... [snip!] ... I think its going to be impossible to get over him with you all under the same roof, ESPECIALLY having sexual intercourse"


I don't control or try to control anything, I checked his call log because for the longest, he claimed to be trying to "work at us" or however you choose to say it...& being that he has the track record he has, I didn't believe it. So i looked. I don't expect anything from him but to be a good father to our daughter, and if he wants me as he has said to allegedly want, then to do the right thing and not do the stuff he wishes that i NOT do. How does it make me have issues? & I've explained why we don't live separately. This is basically my apt and his sister's.....he lives with US! he pays a few bills, but only her name and mine are on the lease!

The Pretty Poodle™ 1 child; Illinois 7341 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting Miss Mariah's Mom:" I don't control or try to control anything, I checked his call log because for the longest, he claimed ... [snip!] ... is basically my apt and his sister's.....he lives with US! he pays a few bills, but only her name and mine are on the lease! "

Hey...I mean you wanted advice lol. These are the things that are holding you back.

Deborah Stechschulte 3 kids; Ohio 2565 posts
18th Apr '12

CUT. HIM. OFF.



take him off your cell phone plan. No more booty. Tell him if he doesn't want all of you, he can't have his favorite part of you.



He's using you for sex and money. He has no respect for you OR your daughter if he is mean and rude and disrespectful towards you.



I know you care about him, and chances are, you always will. He's never going to be completely 'out' of your life because he gave you a daughter, even if he decides to never be there physically or emotionally for her.



Look into low-income housing, or see if there is a family member or a friend you can stay with instead. Keep paying your share of the rent, keep your receipts and copies of your checks for rent so you can prove you made reliable payments every month. If you do find a way to move out without being off the lease, be sure to call your landlord and explain the situation in a general manner (why you want to stay on the lease, and to ensure he knows YOUR checks are paying YOUR share of the rent...)



Figure out how much MORE money you would have without having to pay for his cheap ass. Figure out how much better your life would be if you had that much more money every month. Get pissed that he's such a loser and never does anything for you.

AlyShy 2 kids; Rhode Island 2302 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting Miss Mariah's Mom:" I don't control or try to control anything, I checked his call log because for the longest, he claimed ... [snip!] ... is basically my apt and his sister's.....he lives with US! he pays a few bills, but only her name and mine are on the lease! "


"However he does the most disrespectful things. He is rude/inconsiderate stays out all night and doesn't come home, he is calling other women and texting them (he is on my sprint cell phone contract so i can see his call log....i'm guilty! ) "



This is what im getting at. Thats not disrespectful....to you at least. Like I said you two aren't together anymore. I CAN see it being disrespectful if your child is up and you need help with her and he's not around. Other than that who cares if hes calling or texting other woman. You never mentioned in the post you two were trying to work it out so how was I suppose to know

Miss Mariah's Mom 49 kids; Dallas, Texas 745 posts
18th Apr '12
Quoting alyju:" "However he does the most disrespectful things. He is rude/inconsiderate stays out all night and doesn't ... [snip!] ... calling or texting other woman. You never mentioned in the post you two were trying to work it out so how was I suppose to know"

Oh no I'm not saying that you should've known....I was writing so fast i forgot to add that....& Yes, that does frustrate me at times that he isn't here to help as he used to with our daughter but expects breakfast, lunch and dinner from me as if he's still my man and I'm happy with him. It's really frustrating.