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Advice- daughters GM EndoWarrior TTC since Oct 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Massachusetts 205 posts
20th Apr '12

since my daughters father and i completly ended 9 months ago and i am now in a new relationship ive had serious drama with him never involving our families everyone stayed out he was begging me to get back with him for the first 6 months but said he was a addicted to women and sex and i had to live with that no way no how i was done with that i found me a good man so he said he was going to get back at me and get with another girl and do everything he didnt do for me for her so he goes and gets with the girl he cheated on me with my whole pregnancy and caused me to go into preterm labor not once but 3 times!! so i said i didnt want this moralless trap around my daughter i didnt feel safe if shes so evil what else is she capable of doing? so his parents would still take her no problem so easter comes around and i didnt let her go because i knew the girl would be there and because she was with MY family u know with her FULLTIME mother not her part time ass father and his mother calls me screaming at me calling me a stupid bitch that she was going to take my daughter away so i kno what it feels like to not see ur kid mind u she had my daughter the day before so wth is the big deal!! that her son was a good father and he didnt deserve that ummm ur son beat me in front of my kid doesnt support her sees her when ever its convenient for him and doesnt give me child support because he says he doesnt need to be helping me and hes such a great father right ?? so anyways she texts me today asking for the baby shes seen the baby since then because her husband is completely respectful and i have no issue with him taking her but i feel like i shouldnt just let that go it was so disrespectful do i approach her as a women and a mother about it or just be total hypocrite know her true colors and brush her off?

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
20th Apr '12

Go to court.

Deborah Stechschulte 3 kids; Ohio 2565 posts
20th Apr '12

my daughter's dad is 'part time' too... takes her every other weekend but his mom is usually the one 'watching' her, he's never there when I go to pick her up



He never calls to talk to her (She's 4 and capable of holding a conversation), or ask how she is doing or how preschool is coming along.



He's a bi-weekly babysitter IMO



But I am in a similar situation -- i have the utmost respect for his mother, and my daughter positively ADORES her Gramma.



I grew up w/o knowing my grandparents, and part of me mourns that. Even if they weren't the best people (my mom's dad was fairly evil), I still wanted to know where my family came from with my own eyes, and I never had that chance (Fam is in Ohio, we lived in Texas)



So let your LO see her grandparents...his mom was probably just mad because her son got her worked up, and if you respect Grandpa, then let them see her.

EndoWarrior TTC since Oct 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Massachusetts 205 posts
20th Apr '12
Quoting Max.imus:" Go to court."

me and her father are good now i put int he motion for child support and he hasnt been bothering me she has no right shes a grand parent she was clearly speaking out of spite theres no way they could take my kid she has a clean stable home i dont use any drugs or even drink anymore for that matter have my daughter always dressed impeccable and clean she gets anything and everything she wants and i have a great job so she has no other motive to attempt that

EndoWarrior TTC since Oct 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Massachusetts 205 posts
20th Apr '12
Quoting Deborah Stechschulte:" my daughter's dad is 'part time' too... takes her every other weekend but his mom is usually the one ... [snip!] ... mom was probably just mad because her son got her worked up, and if you respect Grandpa, then let them see her."


no no she gets to see them she goes with them every friday for a couple hours because its there day off but thats not what i mean i mean before her husband was calling which is fine he gets it he knows im a good mom and shes a crazy drunk but now shes sober and shes texting me my question is should i tell her u kno if u plan on being able to text me and have somewhagt of a relationship with me i didnt appreciate what u did it was extremly direspectful or do i act totally oblivious like nothing happened which can cause 2 things they will continue to think they can step all over me or she will feel really dumb ?

EndoWarrior TTC since Oct 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Massachusetts 205 posts
20th Apr '12
Quoting mileyzmami:" no no she gets to see them she goes with them every friday for a couple hours because its there day ... [snip!] ... nothing happened which can cause 2 things they will continue to think they can step all over me or she will feel really dumb ?"


mind u me and her were very tight when i was with her son she looked at me like a daughter till she found out i left her abusive son and was starting a new life

Mami Ana 2 kids; Tallahassee, Florida 3595 posts
20th Apr '12
Quoting mileyzmami:" mind u me and her were very tight when i was with her son she looked at me like a daughter till she found out i left her abusive son and was starting a new life"


Welcome to my life. That is my MIL, if you really want to let your daughter go see her and her grandpa then you NEED to sit down and talk to her.



Lay it all out, respectfully. Let her know you understand her need to defend her son but when it comes down to it he made the choice to be the way he is and that is the consequence of his actions. That you want to have a good relationship with her in order to allow her to continue being around your kid BUT that the disrespect has got to stop asap and the first time it happens again she won't be around your daughter.



I wouldn't let her be around my kid if she couldn't respect me.

EndoWarrior TTC since Oct 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Massachusetts 205 posts
20th Apr '12
Quoting Mami Ana:" Welcome to my life. That is my MIL, if you really want to let your daughter go see her and her grandpa ... [snip!] ... time it happens again she won't be around your daughter. I wouldn't let her be around my kid if she couldn't respect me."

love it! thats exactly how ifeel i just couldnt figure out how to word it thanks your awesome :D