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bonding after a c-section? Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
27th Apr '12

did anyone have any issues bonding with their baby after having a c-section? i love my daughter, but i don't really feel like she's mine. she was taken from me so quickly, it almost seems like it didn't even happen. while in labor, her heart rate began dropping so i had to have an emergency c-section. she was there, inside of me, and then she was ripped from me while i was numb... i feel like i had no part in it.. like i was barely even there. i of course understand it needed to happen for my daughter's sake and i don't regret having a c-section... i'm just having issues now with bonding. she's absolutely gorgeous and is a great baby and like i said, i love her with all my heart... i just sort of feel like i'm babysitting someone else's baby. sometimes i feel like she is SO's baby, but not mine. she also seems to like being with daddy more... i don't know what's wrong with me. i was just wondering if anyone else had had this problem before and what you did to fix it..

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
27th Apr '12

It took a few months for me to fall in love with LO. Its pretty normal, often animals will reject and even try to kill their c-section babies. With humans it just takes time and bonding to overcome. What really helped us is taking baths together, it is a deeply intimate experience and simulates re-birthing.

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
27th Apr '12

it's a common problem with sections. How old is your baby?

~* Jennifer *~ 4 kids; Lakeland, Florida 5500 posts
27th Apr '12

The same exact thing happened with my oldest. It was soo hard for me. I refused to even hold her until she was 2 days old. :( It took me until I was home and then re-hospitalized to realize how amazing she was and that she was mine and perfect. When I got back home the second time I did everything I could to bond with her.

Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
27th Apr '12

she was two weeks old yesterday.

Lori~Proud Mom to Two 2 kids; Oklahoma 15470 posts
27th Apr '12

I bonded fine, I think BFing helped alot in that aspect of it. I was still shocked to have had a c-section the first time around. My second went so much better, and I felt better about it.

Becka.P. TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Tyler, Texas 56 posts
27th Apr '12

This has never happened to me but my friend had to have and emergency c-section also and she said it took her like 2 weeks to feel like her son was hers, she said the same thing about how she loved him but he just didnt feel like he was hers.

3M'smom 3 kids; Illinois 28879 posts
27th Apr '12

I bonded fine with all 3 of my children after my csections. I think breastfeeding helped.

Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
27th Apr '12
Quoting ~* Jennifer *~:" The same exact thing happened with my oldest. It was soo hard for me. I refused to even hold her until ... [snip!] ... she was and that she was mine and perfect. When I got back home the second time I did everything I could to bond with her. "


kimberlee is an absolutely gorgeous baby and she is such a good baby also.. she's so laid back and hardly ever cries. she's such a sweetheart... which makes it harder for me to bond with her it seems because i can't believe i helped create something so wonderful. this is really the most surreal feeling i've had and it just scares the hell out of me..

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 22269 posts
27th Apr '12

It was extremely weird with me because I never even went in to labor. There was fetal distress so they knocked me out completely and took him out. I woke up alone in the recovery room with no baby. He was only in the NICU for 8 days it while he was in there I never cried or anything. I kind of felt bad because there was another mother that was there constantly beside her baby every time we were there. I visited once to twice a day for about an hour each and I feel like I should have wanted to be there more. Anyway, once we got him home I really started nursing and bonding with him. It still maybe took a week till I really bonded and didn't even want to put him down. I would get jealous of others holding him too. I was thankful I breastfed because I got to spend a lot of time with him

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
27th Apr '12
Quoting K.MarieAnnette:" kimberlee is an absolutely gorgeous baby and she is such a good baby also.. she's so laid back and hardly ... [snip!] ... helped create something so wonderful. this is really the most surreal feeling i've had and it just scares the hell out of me.."


I would look at pictures of my LO, and love looking at her. But with her i didn't feel connected. It took a while to be able to bond. I feel like its different for everyone, its just another way to grow attached to LO, you just dont hear about it because everyone only wants to talk about instant connections.

~* Jennifer *~ 4 kids; Lakeland, Florida 5500 posts
27th Apr '12
Quoting K.MarieAnnette:" kimberlee is an absolutely gorgeous baby and she is such a good baby also.. she's so laid back and hardly ... [snip!] ... helped create something so wonderful. this is really the most surreal feeling i've had and it just scares the hell out of me.."


You will come around.. Danielle was a really good baby too. Although she is mine and almost 10 years old at this point, because I was so distant in the beginning..I feel she has a closer bond with my mom. I lived with her when she was born and my mom was the first to hold her. :(

Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
27th Apr '12
Quoting 3M'smom:" I bonded fine with all 3 of my children after my csections. I think breastfeeding helped."


i also can't breastfeed because of medicine i'm taking... so i can't hope for that either.

*Kaleb&Bella's Mommy* 2 kids; Alabama 1552 posts
27th Apr '12

yup and I had twins. I saw a quick peek at them in the OR before they were sent off to be examined and they were 3 hours old before I saw them again. I fell asleep in recovery and slept until they put me in a room and my mom woke me up asking if it was ok for everyone to come back. I didn't care. when they wheeled them in, I wanted to hold them right away. and they didnt seem real. After I sent them to the nursery over night, I couldnt wait to see them the next morning and I think that was when it clicked. I never was in labor. It was unfortunately a scheduled csec because they were both breech, so i never even felt like I had them at all. It was almost like an out of body experience and I hated it. Even though I had a 'perfect' surgery, I told DH if we were to have anymore, I would NOT have a csec unless mine or the baby's life was in danger.

3M'smom 3 kids; Illinois 28879 posts
27th Apr '12

Also maybe you are suffering from some PPD. You should be seen.