Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
28th Apr '12

I think you should just relax and enjoy your pregnancy! Stop worrying about how you're going to parent, that will come naturally when baby is here. :)

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8066 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Sabileigh(Expecting!):" That's why I stated I wasn't naive enough to think everything would happen as I plan. And...I do have ... [snip!] ... a perfect parent. I just don't understand how she has the nerve to tell me anything when she can barely parent her own child."

As someone else said, watching a child is nothing compared to birthing and raising one. You'll understand after you have your own child.

SR ♥ 1 child; V, AR, United States 7877 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Chim Richalds:" Parenting is hard. Ive done all of those things. Parenting is all of those same things and more, it's ... [snip!] ... her child and just lets video games raise him. Way more mean than her telling you parenting is harder than you think it is."


I said it because it's true. She sits on her computer and he plays grand theft auto or modern warfare at least 8 hours of the day. AT LEAST. If he's home longer than that, he's playing it. It's not mean. My nephew was 3 years old and talking about shooting cops, like on auto.

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Sabileigh(Expecting!):" That's why I stated I wasn't naive enough to think everything would happen as I plan. And...I do have ... [snip!] ... a perfect parent. I just don't understand how she has the nerve to tell me anything when she can barely parent her own child."


You have no right to judge her, you don't have kids there for you might know what to do in certain situations but being there 24/7 365 for 18+ years is HARD. You can say you understand these things but what about when the baby is crying and won't sleep, you haven't been to bed in 2 days and have gotten less than 2 hours of sleep.



She's also not trying to tell you that you will fail and what not, she's just trying to tell you how things can be so you'll be prepared, honestly sounds like she's trying to look out for you because parenting is never easy.

SR ♥ 1 child; V, AR, United States 7877 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" As someone else said, watching a child is nothing compared to birthing and raising one. You'll understand after you have your own child."


Tell me the difference. She birthed him, yep. But what...He's at her house for a few more hours than he is at mine? It may be for other people who simply "babysit," I don't just "babysit." For the first 4 weeks of his life, I lived with her. I was fifteen years old. He would wake up in the middle of the night and I'd meet her at the bottom of the stairs and care for him until my mother got off work hours later, while she slept.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Sabileigh(Expecting!):" That's why I stated I wasn't naive enough to think everything would happen as I plan. And...I do have ... [snip!] ... a perfect parent. I just don't understand how she has the nerve to tell me anything when she can barely parent her own child."


Judgemental much?



And really, you might have had your nephew every day of his life, but until you have your own kid, you have no idea. It'll be like night and day.




And it doesn't sound like she is trying to insult you or tell you that your plans will fail. She is probably just trying to brace you for the shock of having a child and watching all those plans fly out the window



Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8066 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Sabileigh(Expecting!):" Tell me the difference. She birthed him, yep. But what...He's at her house for a few more hours than ... [snip!] ... night and I'd meet her at the bottom of the stairs and care for him until my mother got off work hours later, while she slept."

Just wait, you'll see the difference. I'm not arguing it. Have you ever considered that maybe she has depression? I see nothing wrong with what she told you, she just told you that it's not going to work out the way you plan, and it never does.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8066 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" Judgemental much? And really, you might have had your nephew every day of his life, but until you ... [snip!] ... She is probably just trying to brace you for the shock of having a child and watching all those plans fly out the window "

:!:

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Sabileigh(Expecting!):" Tell me the difference. She birthed him, yep. But what...He's at her house for a few more hours than ... [snip!] ... night and I'd meet her at the bottom of the stairs and care for him until my mother got off work hours later, while she slept."


And? Have you had him every single day of his life since he's been born? You have no right to say you know how it will be because you don't, you are naive for thinking otherwise. Enjoy your pregnancy and quit judging how other people raise their kids when you don't even have one to raise.

SR ♥ 1 child; V, AR, United States 7877 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting ♡I poked you♡:" You have no right to judge her, you don't have kids there for you might know what to do in certain situations ... [snip!] ... how things can be so you'll be prepared, honestly sounds like she's trying to look out for you because parenting is never easy."


There is no such thing as prepared for a first time mother. I KNOW my plans will fail, for the most part. But I can have my plans and I can try to enforce my plans. Will they stick? Who knows? But she doesn't have the right to tell me "Oh..Your plans will fail, your house will be filthy like mine, and all of this other shit.." like she knows whats going to happen.



When I have Kaeden, I am strict with him. He never puts his dirty shoes on my couch or on my rug, he doesn't run in my house, he doesn't do half the shit he does at his own house. Because I enforce the rules.

Mrs Mia Wallace Due May 9; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Georgia 2859 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Because you really have no idea how parenting works until you have a child. I had the same ideas as you. ... [snip!] ... delivery and not a damn thing worked out. I wish you the best of luck, but don't plan. It never works the way you want it to."


:!:
Exactly!
I planned and planned and planned but unfortunately life does throw curve balls!

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
28th Apr '12

Sounds just like my best friend's wife. Oh so much like her. When she was pregnant with my goddaughter she'd say pretty much exactly what you said in your OP. She's also say things like "My child will NEVER throw fits like that" talking about the tantrums my daughter would throw. She'd comment on how it wasn't THAT hard to fold laundry with just one kid, that parenting isn't HARD, unless you are lazy. I love her to death, and my goddaughter is now 5, and she will call me randomly crying, telling me how sorry she was for ever talking down towards my parenting because her daughter throws more fits and has more sass than my girl could ever have and no matter how hard she tries, laundry is never folded and put away when washed right away, she always has piles of dishes and piles of clothes needing to be folded. With kids, things never go as planned, it's also chaos, it's hectic and many times you feel like rocking in the corner with a bottle of booze while your child runs rampant. But, it's parenthood, it's a joy, it's hard, it's the most responsibility you could ever have. It's worth every moment.

Kea O_O 4 kids; British Columbia 1480 posts
28th Apr '12

it is hard, keeping your house clean is harder when you have someone messing it up, it's not that it's hard to clean it's that it's discourageing when your the only one doing it, I try to keep my house clean but when I clean the whole kitchen and then its a mess again before the day is half over, it's discourageing, I have been doing a better job lately tho, same with laundry... it kinda sneeks up on you sometimes.

Mrs Mia Wallace Due May 9; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Georgia 2859 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting ♡I poked you♡:" And? Have you had him every single day of his life since he's been born? You have no right to say you ... [snip!] ... otherwise. Enjoy your pregnancy and quit judging how other people raise their kids when you don't even have one to raise."


:!::!::!::!:

SR ♥ 1 child; V, AR, United States 7877 posts
28th Apr '12
Quoting ♡I poked you♡:" And? Have you had him every single day of his life since he's been born? You have no right to say you ... [snip!] ... that otherwise. Enjoy your pregnancy and quit judging how other people raise their kids when you don't even have one to raise."


I have. Not 24/7, but like I said..He lives next door to me. He comes over, when his mother is sleeping or not paying attention, and I'll feed him dinner, give him his bathe for the night, let him watch tv, etc etc.



And I'm not JUDGING how she is raising her child. She has NO right to tell me how to raise my child when she can't even raise her own.