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home potty training vs daycare potty training The4of_us Due April 2; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Kansas 1858 posts
1st May '12

I just need opinions and help with this. Our son is 2 years and 4 months old, he had been doing pretty good with the potty training for us but lately he's been "afraid" to go and has really taken a few steps back (which I hear is normal) but our daycare won't lay off, she tells him and us that he will be trained before summer comes around because she's not changing diapers during the summer. And that if any of the daycare kids aren't trained by the time swimming starts in the summer than they won't go on those field trips. All the daycare kids are close to the same age, all around 27-33 months of age. He doesn't like pull-ups and at times we will allow him to wear a diaper, daycare will only allow pull-ups. Once we brought him into his potty at home and he starting yelling "no hold down, no hold down". We asked daycare if she had held him on the potty and she denied it. She's really been on all of us parents to make sure that the kids are potty trained by summer. I don't know if her being so strict is scaring him away from it or not. I don't want to scare him away from it but I also don't want to not try to potty train him. I don't know what to do........any opinions or thoughts? Thanks Moms!

hi puddin 4 kids; Lawrence, Kansas 2118 posts
1st May '12
Quoting The4of_us:" I just need opinions and help with this. Our son is 2 years and 4 months old, he had been doing pretty ... [snip!] ... it but I also don't want to not try to potty train him. I don't know what to do........any opinions or thoughts? Thanks Moms!"


no hold down just made my heart break.....I honestly hate when potty training s done with such force...they will go when they are ready.....on imo...someone is holding him down=(

Kass. 1 child; 2 angel babies; Ottawa, Ontario 11312 posts
1st May '12

First, yes it does sound as though they are holding him down on the potty. I can understand the daycare staff trying to help him realise when he has to pee by allowing him to try, BUT they are holding him down. I would believe your child on this one, how else would he come up with that?

That being said, some daycares do have rules on ages of potty trained children. Some daycares don't allow children into preschool rooms who have not yet been fully potty trained. However, this seems pretty hard core. Potty training happens with children at different ages as you know, maybe you should make his caregiver aware. She should already know this, but she sounds like she's been kinda overbearing honestly.

The pressure she is putting on potty training may be too much for your son. I would have issues with that. It's a rough time for many children as it is, we don't need overbearing caregivers holding children down on the potty and forcing them to be potty trained by such and such a date.

1&1 We're Done! 2 kids; Nevada 10963 posts
1st May '12
Quoting hi puddin:" no hold down just made my heart break.....I honestly hate when potty training s done with such force...they will go when they are ready.....on imo...someone is holding him down=("


Me too :( I really think Potty training should not be pushed that pushing causes more harm than good. JMO though

Deborah Stechschulte 3 kids; Ohio 2565 posts
1st May '12

NEW DAYCARE.



"I dont' want to change diapers" what?
"THey can't go on swimming field trips" Excuse me??



that's some bullshit. sorry for my language but I would go OFF on that 'teacher'. Kids potty train when THEY are ready for it. When THEY feel confident enough to take on the task by themselves. Forcing a kid to sit on the potty is NOT acceptable, and I would be furious if my children told me someone held them forcibly on the potty...



Yeah, no way would I continue to be a customer at that establishment. Not the teacher's decision when those kids are potty trained. You are paying HER to watch your child. That's Childcare, and that includes whatever comes along with it, be it diapers or pullups or the little swimmer diapers they have out now. Yeah. I'd be done.



That's really unacceptable. It sounds like SHE is the one who is causing your LO to regress on the potty.

*WishingUponAStar* 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Lawton, Oklahoma 18442 posts
1st May '12

I wouldn't want my son's to go to a daycare like that personally! If I am going to pay for care, I want the best care possible. Just saying, that isn't my type of taking care of a kid.
My oldest son wasn't potty trained until he was about 3 1/2 years old. (I am sure us having his younger brother so close in age to him didn't help, but still.) We were gentle with him and just kept trying new things to work. Eventually we bought little hot wheels and would give him a hot wheel every time he went potty and every time he had an accident, we would take one away. He got it down within 3 days. My youngest son just turned 3 and we are going to do hardcore potty training on him probably starting this weekend. (Although we are about to move, so hopefully that doesn't make him stall or go backwards! lol) When I say hard core though, I don't mean holding him down and being mean though! I mean taking him every 45 minutes and rewarding him when he goes and talking to him when he has accidents. We might have to buy some more hot wheels. lol

3 kids; nowhere, ca, United States 46959 posts
1st May '12

kids pt at their own rate just like every other milestone, you can not force them.
I actually read somewhere recently that if they pt around 3 its usually better and they have fewer accidents

The4of_us Due April 2; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Kansas 1858 posts
1st May '12

Thanks to each of you ladies! What you all said is exactly how I feel also but he is my first child and I have never potty trained before so I didn't want to over react before I spoke with daycare about it. I feel so bad for him, I just wonder what he's going through all day when he potties in his diaper/pull-up instead of the potty, does he get into trouble? We really need to talk to them about it but I wanted some advice before we did it. He's not even 2 1/2 yet, I'm not the only parent she's been doing this to, I've heard her alot with other parents when I go and pick them up. I feel so horrible. Thanks for the advice!