im 18 and this is my first baby im so scared tht i wont be good enough because my mum was terriable and i went into care i just want to do thing right, i know for one i would never get rid of my baby for anyone, ill buy the best i can and look after him or her properly because my baby means the world to me just worried about things at the moment and its stressing me out :(
You are still early on and About as far along as me...
You have a couple months to start planning stuff up... You need to start building your support system if you can
Those are normal fears, especially if you came from a bad upbringing. You can determine within yourself that you will be a better mother.
Its normal to feel this way as a first time mommy(and sometime if your arent). Even more so if your dont have a good support system just relax you have time to get things toether, take care of yourself, and lean everything you can about diffrent type of parenting and how to do everything. Work on your patience because being up all night is hard and its hard not to take it out on those around you who are getting sleep lol
Okay, first thing is first - you need to calm down. I was born & raised in England and i know how rough the care system can be, i spent two years in it myself. That does not impact your capabilities as a mother. You don't have to be the same with with your child as your mother was with you either. you are your own person and perfectly capable of making your own choices. Two - the baby doesn't need the best of anything. My daughter got her carseat and her stroller brand new, everything else we bought second hand or were given/gifted. For the amount of time that babies use things it's pointless in putting them in expensive clothes that they'll were for a month and stain to all hell. Or buying them toys that cost half your paycheck because they'll just get thrown around and broken in more ways than you could think possible. I was 30 weeks and all my daughter had was some clothes, her bassinet and her carseat. We bought her swing the day she came home, her stroller a few weeks later and just built on things from there. You do not need to buy everything at once, it's perfectly okay to budget your money and buy what you can when you can afford it. Regardless of how bad it looks now, that baby will have everything is needs when it gets here so stop panicking. I completely agree with one of the other ladies though, you do need to build on a support network whether it be family or friends. You are going to need it.
I was 18 when my daughter was born. Age doesn't define how good of a parent you can be. I've given my daughter (and my son, and my other son on the way) everything I can think of for them to have a good life. Just the fact that you are worried about being a good parent should tell you that you will be. Bad parents don't usually stop to wonder what type of parents they are. You will do/be just fine!
I didn't have a pleasant childhood to say the absolute least. It taught me how not to be a parent. Now that I have my own kids I take what I went through and use it to keep me grounded. It's honestly made me a better mom because I don't want my kids to go through any of the things I did. You can do this hun. I was scared to death I wouldn't be a good enough mom to my daughter, but being a parent is a learning process. You'll learn how best to raise your child as you go. Good luck hun!
thank you for the advice its really appreciated
Im 18 and my girl is 5 weeks old. I had never even held a baby before, nevermind taking care of one. but everythings going great. you'll learn how to take of your baby as you go along. support is the number one thing you need. just be patient and try not to get too stressed out and everything will be just fine :)
I had my daughter when i was 18, shes now 3yrs old and a happy well adjusted little one. Shes expecting to be a big sister sometime this month infact.
I can honestly i would of gone nuts without my support system. And despite that ive already had one baby before this 2nd has me rattled, more so than my daughter did! which seems backwards to me but i hear its normal.
I have learned that a lot of the stuff u think u need for ur baby before they are born...are things u really dont need. So this time around we've got the basics for him. new crib b/c the old one was recalled. car seat, clothes. Most of everything we've gotten (for both kids) have been hand me downs. Even still i shop for clothes at goodwill for my daughter, she grows to fast to spend a lot of money on something she'd only wear for a few months. Same will go for my son when hes here.
all in all, having a baby is scary no matter what age you are or what your living situation is. idc if ur the richest person in the world, youll still be worried!
Its fun though it really is. hearing them laugh for the first time and watching them explore new things. ^_^ good luck
Quoting Hope Sheardown:" im 18 and this is my first baby im so scared tht i wont be good enough because my mum was terriable and ... [snip!] ... him or her properly because my baby means the world to me just worried about things at the moment and its stressing me out :("
I'm only 16 and I worry all the time but the worst thing to do is to stress when pregnant!
I don't know you but every mum is a good mum in their own way.
\Every mum to be worries and thinks 'Will I be a good mum?' its normal
Good luck! :)
Although iv never been in care I do know what it's like to have a child when you're young. I was 17 when I had my daughter and I couldn't have done it without support. I agree with the post about not buying everything new, babies grow so fast. Bottles are the only other thing.id get brand spanking, everything else can be 2nd hand. Budgeting.helps too. Try using supermarket own brands where possible, half the time they are just as good as the 'brand' version but a lot cheaper. Same for things like Calpol, chemists do their own and u can get a bottle twice the size for the same price. It might feel daunting now but you will get there. Maybe ask your midwife if she can put you in touch with some mother and baby groups in the area? Some have a young mums session so you could make some friends and have somewhere to give you help with the baby. The fact you are determined to keep the baby and show him/her love and give them a great upbringing shows you will be a good mum if you just stick at it :) and if you wanna pm me anytime for a chat then I'll be here x
PS I'm pt'in you cos u only live about 50 miles away from me :)
thank you all so much uve been a really big help :)