When my husband and I first found out that we were having a boy, we had a bit of an argument about the circumcision of him. He wanted it, and I didn't. I thought we had settled it, and decided that we weren't getting one for our screaming bundle of terror.
Now that I'm 39 weeks and bout ready to pop, my husband comes out of nowhere and says that he wants our boy to be circumcised. His whole reasoning for it was that he was circumcised, and he just wants his son to match. I've done a whole bunch of research on this topic, and I'm extremely uncomfortable with it. I've told him this, and shown him some of the sites and facts against it and stuff like that. It seems like he didn't even skim it, he keeps saying that the sites I'm showing him are biased, and that he still wants it. I'm about ready to break down and cry over this crap, and I feel like he's not listening to me.
Thing is, I don't know if I'm just being completely over emotional about this and I'm over reacting to his want for the circumcision, or what exactly. Did anyone else have a similar problem?
no, you're not crazy for not wanting it.
No of course you're not crazy. You want to protect your child from unnecessary, harmful genital surgery.
ive never dealt with this issue but i can understand it would be confusing and irritating!!
you are NOT being over emotional about it...it is your son...i circ'd my boys and part of me is happy i did and part of me is like they were perfect not circ'd
i hope you and your DH can find the happy medium for your son...
all you can really do is express how much you dont want it done...show him your evidence and support your decision with facts...then see what he has to say...just talk it over...
and its not his penis its his sons...sounds like he is right on the fence...
Tell him that he should buy some hair dye, too. In case his son doesn't match him.
Quoting Artemisa Bauer:" When my husband and I first found out that we were having a boy, we had a bit of an argument about the ... [snip!] ... about this and I'm over reacting to his want for the circumcision, or what exactly. Did anyone else have a similar problem?"
Can you make a compromise and say that you will allow him to get circumcised when he can decide for himself? I'm kind of a bitch about things I feel strongly about and I would just tell him tough cookies, not happening. Not like they are going to sit around comparing penes what does it matter if he matches?
Your not crazy, but I diderot my SO choose because well I don't have a penis and I just feel like if he wanted our son to look the same then so be it.
I felt opposite I wanted my LO circumsized SO didn't.
We didn't circumsize
No, you're not crazy. To each their own.
I just wish I could show him exactly how I feel without seeming like some crazy pregnant woman to him. It doesn't help that his best friend and wife (who we live with) are getting their kid circumcised too. I'm the only one who doesn't think it's necessary, and I feel outnumbered.
Having son match daddy is a shitty reason to put a baby through such a thing.
Will he sit down for a few minutes and watch some youtube videos of the actual procedure? Remind him that babies CAN feel pain, and are not able to have adequate pain medication during the surgery due to their age. They also must bear an incredible amount of pain as it heals, and urine and feces get on it which must hurt like hell. Try to help your husband imagine what it would be like to lie back, tied down, and have your genitals ripped and sliced up all with little or possibly no pain medication.
No you are not wrong...but neither is he IMO. It makes sense for him to want his son to match. When your boy is older someone is going to have to teach him to clean it properly...and it's probably going to be him, not you. I can see how it'd be hard for him to explain and teach him when they are different.
But since you are set on not getting it done just keep showing him why! You aren't over reacting or being overly emotional...it's not something that NEEDS to be done.
I don't have a similar problem, but I'm not getting my son circumcised. I don't care what my fiance says! It's a nasty surgical procedure, and I couldn't imagine putting my son through that because "he'll match Daddy" No way! Eff that noise! If there was a medical reasoning behind it, then I would do it. I've never heard of anyone dying because they weren't snipped at birth. I hear people saying, "well it's cleaner, and what if something happens one day where he'll need it done?...he'll have the memory and it will traumatize him....blah blah blah..." Well then if that's the case, shouldn't we all have our gallbladders, appendixes, tonsils and all that shit removed when we're first born? Cuz something might happen years down the road where it will be necessary....
<blockquote><b>Quoting Artemisa Bauer:</b>" When my husband and I first found out that we were having a boy, we had a bit of an argument about the ... [snip!] ... about this and I'm over reacting to his want for the circumcision, or what exactly. Did anyone else have a similar problem?"</blockquote>
Don't be afraid to protect your son....look up a video of infant circumcision and make him watch it....better yet YouTube. Circumcision: An Elephant in the Hospital...I told my Fiance we weren't doing ANYTHING medically unnecessary and genital cutting is completely cosmetic..the doc will even tell you that
Quoting Nicole Mclovin:" Your not crazy, but I diderot my SO choose because well I don't have a penis and I just feel like if ... [snip!] ... he wanted our son to look the same then so be it. I felt opposite I wanted my LO circumsized SO didn't. We didn't circumsize"
See, he's telling me that since I don't have a penis, he should be the main one to make a decision. I just don't see a purpose in an unnecessary surgery.
Neither of you are wrong but you do need to come to some sort of an agreement. I let my husband make the decision when our son was born but I also made sure he was educated on the subject. My son was circumcised.