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global developmental delay - i need some support ms. grumpy butt 1 child; California 3156 posts
12th May '12

I have been a single mom for 2.5 years. I have tried to find a way to bring structure into mine and my lo's life but I am failing on finding the strength lately. My lo has global developmental delays. He is 3 years old but his understanding of the things around him is considered to be at the age of 18-24months.
I will be honest. I feel lost sometimes. Emotional because I am not sure what I am doing or how to begin. I am torn between the millions (exaggeration, of course) of parents who throw me their opinions and advice and between the kind of parenting style I am trying to develop.
So, here I am. If any of you moms have a child with similar needs, please help :-(



I am not happy and it doesn't help when I feel like I am failing in the eyes of other people especially my family members. I want to be the best mom for my son more than anything. But this pressure is making me unhappy to even be a mom.



I am not asking for rude comments. If you have a negative issue with how I feel, please just move along. I am genuinely asking for the HELP of women who understand and want to help.



I need a support system.

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
12th May '12

My daughter is 3.5 and has mild/moderate autism. I'm feeling a lot of the same things. It's so hard and people don't even realize it. You just can't explain all the emotions you go through to someone whose child isn't delayed. No one can really know what it's like until they go through it.

ms. grumpy butt 1 child; California 3156 posts
12th May '12
Quoting Baby Big Head TM:" My daughter is 3.5 and has mild/moderate autism. I'm feeling a lot of the same things. It's so hard and ... [snip!] ... emotions you go through to someone whose child isn't delayed. No one can really know what it's like until they go through it. "


It might sound silly but I am on the verge of tears just reading the first sentence of your response. I am at my brother-in-law's going away party in the bathroom "pooping". But I am really just trying to pick myself up again :-( ugh

*Booger Biscuit's Mom* 33 kids; Temecula, California 7301 posts
12th May '12

I think my little one may have the same thing, we are still in the process of getting her evaluated and tested :( I am a newly single mommy and I'm also being told what I should or shouldn't do with her. Where in Cali do you live? Its usually much easier on you and the little one if you have play dates with other moms often, to get your mind off of things.

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
12th May '12
Quoting ms. grumpy butt:" It might sound silly but I am on the verge of tears just reading the first sentence of your response. ... [snip!] ... at my brother-in-law's going away party in the bathroom "pooping". But I am really just trying to pick myself up again :-( ugh"


Awww! don't cry! I use the pooping excuse a lot too just to get away. My husband probably thinks i have a weird intestinal disease lol!



You sound like you need a break and you might be on the verge of burnout (which is so easy to do when you are going through all of this). You've been through a lot and you sound like you are doing the absolute best you can do. Do you have family and friends who can give you a break once in a while?

ms. grumpy butt 1 child; California 3156 posts
12th May '12
Quoting *Booger Biscuit's Mom*:" I think my little one may have the same thing, we are still in the process of getting her evaluated and ... [snip!] ... Its usually much easier on you and the little one if you have play dates with other moms often, to get your mind off of things."


Stockton. I have such social anxiety of dealing with other moms because of the fact that people who have normal developing children like to tell me what I should/shouldn't be doing. Or they think I lack consistency and structure. Which isn't necessarily false but considering how hard I feel like I try, I feel judged in a negative way for it.
I am tired of feeling like no one can relate to me! I want to hear another mom with the same struggles talk to me. I want to talk to another mom who ALSO has a child in their own world so I don't feel so bad about my son wanting little to do with the company of other children his age.

*Booger Biscuit's Mom* 33 kids; Temecula, California 7301 posts
12th May '12
Quoting ms. grumpy butt:" Stockton. I have such social anxiety of dealing with other moms because of the fact that people who ... [snip!] ... a child in their own world so I don't feel so bad about my son wanting little to do with the company of other children his age."

Aww you're about 6-8 hours away from me :( I have social anxiety about other moms and social anxiety in general :( My little one doesn't want to have anything to do with little kids at all. She's almost 2. She doesn't talk and gets frustrated and hits and kicks A LOT!

ms. grumpy butt 1 child; California 3156 posts
12th May '12
Quoting Baby Big Head TM:" Awww! don't cry! I use the pooping excuse a lot too just to get away. My husband probably thinks i have ... [snip!] ... sound like you are doing the absolute best you can do. Do you have family and friends who can give you a break once in a while?"


I didnt want you to think I was ignoring you but I will reply later because the bathroom needed to be used by someone else.

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
12th May '12

It truly can make you feel like you are all alone. Before Katie was diagnosed, I knew something was not quite right with her. Other kids and moms would pick up on little things that she did. She walked on her toes and moms would notice. Other kids her age would ask why she didn't want to play with them.



Katie is one of 3 girls in our family who are the same age. I still have a hard time going to family functions and not feeling jealous and like an outsider.



Don't get too frustrated about all the therapies and supplements and diets out there. I did this thinking I could cure her if I knew exactly what to do. It has been 22 months since she was diagnosed and I'm just now realizing that I cannot cure her. Nobody can. I just have to make sure she lives the fullest, healthiest and happiest life she possible can.

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
12th May '12
Quoting ms. grumpy butt:" I didnt want you to think I was ignoring you but I will reply later because the bathroom needed to be used by someone else."


lol it's ok. PT me if you want. I'm on here a lot :)

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy Due September 9; 1 child; Zimbabwe 42927 posts
13th May '12

I find it most helpful when people seem judge mental to turn it and say what would you suggest. I listen take the good leave the rest, but once I stopped getting deffensive I found myself in a much better frame of mind..



Jamil is 4 and has Classic Autism, he doesn't like kids at all...