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Wiggity Wack 1 child; Connecticut 10780 posts
15th May '12

Me and my husband were both in college for the last year of my sons life. It's no cake walk, but it can be done. This is a huge life decision. You sound like you don't want to do it. I think you and your husband need to discuss this more and you need to take some time to really think this through before you go making any appointments. It's easy for him to say "just get an abortion" when it won't be his legs in the stir-ups.

NicoThunders 2 kids; Michigan 12847 posts
15th May '12
Quoting youngpregnantandhurt:" his parents weren't happy about our marriage but it wasn't their choice to make nd I don't want an ... [snip!] ... nd I don't want an abortion at all it's just the situation he's making it to be I feel like I got not much other choices..."


If you don't want an abortion then don't have one. Would your family help if he left you?

youngpregnantandhurt Due November 11 (twins); Japan 6 posts
15th May '12
Quoting 5 blessings so far....:" He sounds like a real winner....what does his ''prestigious'' college have to do w/anything thing and ... [snip!] ... as much as he should be) sorry for the long winded opinion....your post just reminded me so much of my friends situation......"


well we're in an inter-spiritual and interracial relationship and they hate the fmily I come from so they really hate that I'm with him that I'm carrying their grndkids would really bother them... They've always been pretty offensive and whatever around me they're not very accepting people. I kind of know that myself

youngpregnantandhurt Due November 11 (twins); Japan 6 posts
15th May '12
Quoting NicoThunders:" If you don't want an abortion then don't have one. Would your family help if he left you?"


I really got no family tbh... My dad's dead I'm estranged from my mom and I've never met my half brother I only have him and friends as really family... I cn't really see life without him I have loved him 6 years never known anyone else tbh...

youngpregnantandhurt Due November 11 (twins); Japan 6 posts
15th May '12

thats what I fear....



Quoting Jennifer Petree Gray:" Well... One thing is for certain... he should have considered the consequent result to assisting you ... [snip!] ... be hard but your relationship probably wont last long anyways if you abort and end up resenting him for making the decision. "
NicoThunders 2 kids; Michigan 12847 posts
15th May '12
Quoting youngpregnantandhurt:" I really got no family tbh... My dad's dead I'm estranged from my mom and I've never met my half brother ... [snip!] ... him and friends as really family... I cn't really see life without him I have loved him 6 years never known anyone else tbh..."

How far a long are you? You know for sure it's twins?
You shouldn't feel pressured into having an abortion. There are resources out there to help a single mother if it came to that.
Loving him has nothing to do with the choice you need to make.

Mrs Mia Wallace 33 kids; Georgia 2858 posts
15th May '12

I agree with everyone else. It's your decision and if you're not 100% sure, don't do it just because he wants you to. He sounds rather selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings. If this--having children with the "man" you love and "supposedly" loves you--would ruin your relationship, maybe he's not who you think he is....

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
15th May '12
Quoting youngpregnantandhurt:" I really got no family tbh... My dad's dead I'm estranged from my mom and I've never met my half brother ... [snip!] ... him and friends as really family... I cn't really see life without him I have loved him 6 years never known anyone else tbh..."


whats to say 5 or even 10 yrs down the road your DH wont try using the same excuses when you really want to ''start a family''? His ignorant family members shouldnt have a bearing on your relationship. Lots of people struggle to raise kids and go to school and most turn out to be more stable and grounded because of the sacrifices they made......you both need to sit down and have a real heart to heart cause it sounds like if u go through w/terminating your relationship will be ruined regardless. i will be praying for you!

JenPUTS~ Due August 21; 2 kids; Utah 59 posts
15th May '12
Quoting Jennifer Petree Gray:" Well... One thing is for certain... he should have considered the consequent result to assisting you ... [snip!] ... be hard but your relationship probably wont last long anyways if you abort and end up resenting him for making the decision. "


I agree with the above mentioned quote and many others who have posted on here. You need to take back control of your body, and your life. Because this is not a small choice. If he is trying to coerce you or even give you an ultimatum into doing this, and you give into him, you are giving him control over you. It is truly to late to do the woulda coulda shouldas and I believe that you may have to be strong and stand up for yourself and respect yourself enough to not let anyone talk you into doing something that may potentially haunt you and cause you bitterness because it wasnt your choice. When i fell pregnant with my son, my then BF now husband was not happy and wished I would miscarry. He regrets those words now as he has seen what a blessing our son was and we were also very young also. Your husband may just thank you later for not listening to him in a selfish hour.

Peytin Due July 12; TTC since Jan 2013; 16 kids; Sarasota, Florida 690 posts
16th May '12
Quoting youngpregnantandhurt:" I don't want to but in this case I do in that I don't to ruin our relationship his future be a single ... [snip!] ... a single mom at 18 to twins... I just wish he would be different but I know he's just the way he is it'ss not going to change"


it wont be easy but you CAN do it. my friend was literally in the EXACT situation you're in right now. same age. she had her twin girls the day after she turned 18. she was married and husband didnt support her. she is now 22 with 4 year old twin girls and they are all thriving. you can do it!!



i had an abortion about 3 years ago, and i basically did it to please my boyfriend. (he told me we would work on things and it would be easier without a baby getting in the way) it was the dumbest decision i ever made. just take some time and make your OWN decision. you may still decide to abort, which is fine, just make sure youre 100% okay with that decision, because its a decision you CANT take back, GL.

xrawrr Due May 6; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Toronto, Ontario 759 posts
16th May '12

please dont get an abortion just because he wants you too. i understand your feelings about not wanting to ruin your relationship, but believe me it's not worth it. when i was 18 i had an abortion because, like you, not only was i scared to death about how i was going to be able to raise and care for a baby but my boyfriend had told me if i didn't get one he would leave me. sure, him leaving wasn't the ONLY reason I went, but it was the deciding factor. I had been considering it, though I still felt maybe there was a chance I could handle it, but when he said he'd leave if i kept it i panicked even more because now id be doing it alone plus just the fact that i would lose him devastated me.



im not proud of the choice i made, especially because i didn't make it for myself. i've regretted it every day, and it still affects me. though it doesn't seem to affect him at all. i constantly think about how my baby would be turning 2 this summer, and how he'd have a little brother coming, and i constantly think about how he would have gotten along with my 1 year old nephew... basically i think about him constantly and what things would have been like.



if an abortion is what YOU want to do, then do it. It's still going to be hard, and you'll still be affected by it afterwards, but trust me it's the worst feeling knowing you gave up something so precious because someone else wanted you to.

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
17th May '12

I had a abortion when i was 16 because my boyfriend didnt want a kid and my parents and him forced me ever since i had hatred toward him for pushing me to do it. I did not want to get a abortion. I wound doing it because of my parents and him, i was told i couldnt live with my parents if i kept it and he wouldnt be with me if i kept it so if i chose to keep it id been homeless. I would like to tell you if you dont want to do it dont you will regret it and you will be hurting. Only do what you want otherwise you wont be happy with your decision, you have to do what you want not what others want.

Dani Robertson Due October 12 (boy); 18 kids; Colorado Springs, Colorado 71 posts
18th May '12

I went through this with my oldests dad. i got pregnant when lo was nine months old, we were off and on, it was a bad situation. I wanted the baby he didnt, he made me have the abortion i had to pay for it myself, and go through it alone. To this day i hate him with a deep passion, soon after the abortion he left me and my son completely hasnt seen him since. If i could go back in time i would have fought harder to keep my baby my situation is totally different, but if you want the babies fight for them. You will more than likely resent him because of the pain youre going to feel and go through stand up for what you want. Its your body your decision and if he loved you hed support you his life wont end because youre pregnant.

Megan Dauchenbaugh Due September 24 (girl); Bucyrus, Ohio 1 posts
18th May '12
Quoting ~*Mommy of 5*~:" Look, if "ruinging" your relationship because you have a baby that you made TOGETHER is your concern, ... [snip!] ... if you didnt seem soe eager to "please" HIM. He can walk away from it, you will have that empty feeling LONG after he is gone."

exactly im seventeen not married and having a kid and my man does support me ...i would never KILL my babies to please NO man...he must be a heartless man that cares about only himself because my man quit fulfilling his dream in fighting professionally to take care of the responsibility that he made with me...NO realtionship is worth killing youur babies for...if i was in youur situation i would have them and then give them up for adoption there is no harm in that but dont terminate its life before it really even begun juss because youu had sex willingly knowing what the outcome could be and didnt want to take care of it...thats stupid and immature on youur part...i have a question for youu to ask youurself , if he asked youu to kill youur mom, dad or sibling because their ruining youur relationship would youu do that??

Piecey. Due May 13; 3 kids; K-Town, KL, Germany 64866 posts
18th May '12

Megan, your post is inappropriate. Read up on the rules, please.