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dealing with aggressive behaviors wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12

How do you do it?



specifically for an autistic child? Do you use time out? Redirection?



I'm at a loss



My son is VERY aggressive towards his little sister. Half the time, she hasn't even done anything that should or would upset him. Like, she'll just be playing by herself and he'll knock her down and sit on her back. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I have to hold her all the time just to protect her from him. It's so sad because when she sees him walking toward her, she'll lay flat on the floor and start crying or saying "no, no"



I try redirection, which helps for like 5 seconds. I try time out, which makes things worse.



Of all of my children, he is the one who gets most of the attention so I don't know that he's really feeling neglected, but who knows. I wish I could see what's going on in that little head of his. I think alot of the reason for his behavior is the reaction he gets from her, but how am I supposed to tell an 18 month old not to react when her brother sits on her :?



HELP!!!



thanks

Bobby Shazam fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105640 posts
21st May '12

Poor Eva :(

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12
Quoting .Colleen.:" Poor Eva :("


I know :(

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
21st May '12

Katie tries to sit on alex and hit him, but it's not in an angry way, she just doesn't understand how things hurt other people.



You might be able to try a social story about how it hurts other people when we are mean to them and hit them.



I know it's frustrating because you can't take your eyes off of either of them, not even to go to the bathroom!

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12
Quoting Baby Big Head TM:" Katie tries to sit on alex and hit him, but it's not in an angry way, she just doesn't understand how ... [snip!] ... and hit them. I know it's frustrating because you can't take your eyes off of either of them, not even to go to the bathroom!"


thank you <3



it's so sad :( And yeah, most of the time Myles isn't even pissed at Eva when he hurts her! He also pulls her hair......and mine for that matter, but I can handle it....Eva can't :(



thanks for the suggestion!

user banned 3 kids; Florence, South Carolina 39499 posts
21st May '12
Quoting wombie:" thank you <3 it's so sad :( And yeah, most of the time Myles isn't even pissed at Eva when he hurts ... [snip!] ... her! He also pulls her hair......and mine for that matter, but I can handle it....Eva can't :( thanks for the suggestion!"


sure, no problem. good luck with everything!

*Lolo* Due October 6; 5 kids; Belvidere, Illinois 5591 posts
21st May '12

we have that problem too. they just want to play/ love on people but dont realize it hurts.
We just constantly remind that you have to be gentle. we say babies are little and we have to be gentle. we can give them kisses on hands but cant hug them (they would get squashed).



good luck!

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12
Quoting *Lolo*:" we have that problem too. they just want to play/ love on people but dont realize it hurts. We just constantly ... [snip!] ... are little and we have to be gentle. we can give them kisses on hands but cant hug them (they would get squashed). good luck!"


thank you!

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12
Quoting Sam ☼:" Oh, Eva :( and, oh, YOU. Its got to be hard to be in that position with your kids. Does any of this ... [snip!] ... http://www.amazon.com/Andy-Yellow-Frisbee-Mary-Thompson/dp/0933149832/ref=cm_lmf_tit_3"


thank you so much <3



this is all still so new and still so overwhelming at times......I so appreciate the feedback



sometimes I feel Myles is progressing so nicely and then other times I notice him picking up new "autistic" behaviors.......I get really overwhelmed sometimes. I think I'll feel better once we get more guidance from the developmental center and the board of DD, but holy hell that's a slow process! I kind of feel like we got a diagnosis and then that's it :?



I'm going to read through those links....thanks again!

user banned Beverly Hills, California 36921 posts
21st May '12
Quoting wombie:" thank you so much <3 this is all still so new and still so overwhelming at times......I so appreciate ... [snip!] ... process! I kind of feel like we got a diagnosis and then that's it :? I'm going to read through those links....thanks again!"


Sure, I hope they help you some!!



You know.... depending on your own spiritual beliefs, etc.....



Many, many people believe that society teaches us ALL to not listen to our own inner guidance. Its all about what someone else thinks our behavior should look like, not was true and authentic to ourselves. Many of those people believe that autistic children come into this world to teach us how to listen to ourselves, and be true to ourselves- and the reason they do it in the form of "autism" is because they came into this world unwilling to give up their true sense of self.



If its something that you can wrap your head around, and it resonates within you as being true, then what it means is that Myles is going to teach you all, lots of amazing things.



It makes sense for his "normal" development, and his "autism" development, to both... well, develop! Because theyre NOT mutually exclusive, its just all aspect of who Myles is.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
21st May '12
Quoting Sam ☼:" Sure, I hope they help you some!! You know.... depending on your own spiritual beliefs, etc..... ... [snip!] ... his "autism" development, to both... well, develop! Because theyre NOT mutually exclusive, its just all aspect of who Myles is."


thank you for that



it made me cry......but in a good way :)



I totally agree. I believe that Myles is here to teach me and everyone else he is in contact with, how to be a better person.



Without trying to get too spiritual on you, I believe that the reason for human life is for spiritual growth. I do believe in past lives/reincarnation. In Myles' case, I believe his spiritual self is very mature, whereas mine might be less so.......he is here to teach me.

Bobby Shazam fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105640 posts
21st May '12
Quoting Sam ☼:" Sure, I hope they help you some!! You know.... depending on your own spiritual beliefs, etc..... ... [snip!] ... his "autism" development, to both... well, develop! Because theyre NOT mutually exclusive, its just all aspect of who Myles is."


I have never heard that theory

IS there a name for it?

user banned Beverly Hills, California 36921 posts
21st May '12
Quoting wombie:" thank you for that it made me cry......but in a good way :) I totally agree. I believe that Myles ... [snip!] ... In Myles' case, I believe his spiritual self is very mature, whereas mine might be less so.......he is here to teach me."


youre welcome :)



you and I then, we're on the same spiritual wavelength....



I thought that was sort of how you operated, which is why I wanted to share that.... I made the mistake of trying to say the same thing to a neighbor with an Autistic child, and it really pissed her conservative Catholic self off.

user banned Beverly Hills, California 36921 posts
21st May '12
Quoting .Colleen.:" I have never heard that theory IS there a name for it?"

Quoting .Colleen.:" I have never heard that theory IS there a name for it?"


uh.

no :D

or, not that I know of. Its not something I know of in a professional way, its a theory that my Moms spiritual whatever-the-f**k-it-is says about autism kids.

A lot of the shit that comes down from them is a bunch of bullshit, but a bunch of it makes lots of things "click" internally and help people really truly feel better.