Reply
I'm scared it will hurt but I don't know if it's right.... preggotrouble1 Due December 8; Dayton, Nevada 3 posts
25th May '12

I am 20. I have a small job and my bf is in legal trouble. He just got arrested for having to do with a homicide it doesn't look so positive. I stand by him but if he goes to prison I don't think we could raise child this way... I don't have enough money without him. I didn't do anything wrong though I don't want to suffer for it. If I had an abortion how bad would it be? How bad is an abortion? I don't want to feel so depressed ll my life. Advice?

WeenieMachine 3 kids; Japan 27915 posts
25th May '12

I had an abortion at your age. The procedure itself if you go with a surgical abortion rather than the pill wasn't terrible. I was on painkillers and don't remember the procedure itself and the recovery was some cramping and bleeding but it was just a weekend. The emotional fallout can be tough, but sometimes the hard choice is the right one when we're not in the right place in our lives. I wish you the best.

Kylie's👣Mommy. 1 child; 1 angel baby; Texas 3462 posts
25th May '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting WeenieMachine:</b>" I had an abortion at your age. The procedure itself if you go with a surgical abortion rather than the ... [snip!] ... be tough, but sometimes the hard choice is the right one when we're not in the right place in our lives. I wish you the best."</blockquote>



Perfect words!

Falisha Flegal 1 child; Washington 447 posts
25th May '12

What about finding an adoptive family for the baby? One that will pay your medical bills you would still be able to give your baby a better life than you could without so much guilt. But if that isn't a possible option for you do what will be best for you. And don't listen to any negativity regarding this post... I have a feeling there will be alot if the wrong bg user sees this good luck to you :)

preggotrouble1 Due December 8; Dayton, Nevada 3 posts
25th May '12
Quoting Falisha Flegal:" What about finding an adoptive family for the baby? One that will pay your medical bills you would still ... [snip!] ... to any negativity regarding this post... I have a feeling there will be alot if the wrong bg user sees this good luck to you :)"


don't I need him to agree? Also he doesn't want adoption or parenting... But he was willing to parent just not place... I am ok with it really though...

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
25th May '12

I think if you know for certain that he won't be there to help you and you can't do it on your own then it is a very smart decision. Sometimes the most difficult decisions are the right ones. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Falisha Flegal 1 child; Washington 447 posts
25th May '12
Quoting preggotrouble1:" don't I need him to agree? Also he doesn't want adoption or parenting... But he was willing to parent just not place... I am ok with it really though..."


I am not sure about the laws but I don't think he has to agree, you don't even have to put his name on the birth certificate if you don't want to



Falisha Flegal 1 child; Washington 447 posts
25th May '12

How far along are you? I found out you do legally need his permission to put the child up for adoption unless you prove that he is an unfit father and get his parental rights terminated and that if you chose to have the baby and keep it he would have to pay child support. I also read it was illegal to abort after 20 weeks here unless you had a medical reason but I'm not sure where you are and what your laws are that's why I asked how far along you were.

preggotrouble1 Due December 8; Dayton, Nevada 3 posts
25th May '12
Quoting Falisha Flegal:" I am not sure about the laws but I don't think he has to agree, you don't even have to put his name on the birth certificate if you don't want to "


we're still together actually

Falisha Flegal 1 child; Washington 447 posts
25th May '12
Quoting preggotrouble1:" we're still together actually"


Hmm, I'm honestly not sure what you could do then... I'm sorry

user banned 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 21095 posts
25th May '12

Yes, he would have to agree to the adoption. OP I am not in your situation nor have I ever been. That being said if I were, I would abort. There are places to get counseling both before and after.

!!Katie!! 1 child; Tennessee 2794 posts
25th May '12

I also had an abortion at your age. I had many different reasons, that to this day I believe were good reasons. I don't regret it, which may sound cold...but I seriously doubt I would have been able to do the right thing for that child...now 8 years later...I'm still nervous about having this baby...but I know in my heart I want him, and my Husband and I will be able to provide him the proper care and love, that's the difference for me.



Mine was a surgical abortion also, I'm not trying to scare you...and it may just be the clinic I went to...but mine did hurt. Good thing is, it doesn't last, and it's not a long procedure...and I felt almost normal the next day. You can't let whether or not it hurts be a factor in your decision...because you know what, having a baby hurts too.



The one thing I can tell you , is MAKE SURE this is what you want. Don't do it for him, or for anyone else. Make sure it's for you , and you know it's the right thing. You kinda have to listen to your gut feeling on this type of thing...if something tells you it's not right, or you reeeallly feel bad about it, you might want to start considering other options. There are plenty of resources out there designed to help young mothers, and there is always adoption. As far as him having to agree to the adoption - You would have to look into it. I have a feeling the rules may be different for a partner that's in Jail, or major legal trouble...especially for something involving a homicide.



Best wishes with whatever it is you decide to do...life can be very hard sometimes, but if you stick to your convictions, you come out a stronger person in the end.

!!Katie!! 1 child; Tennessee 2794 posts
25th May '12
Quoting Falisha Flegal:" How far along are you? I found out you do legally need his permission to put the child up for adoption ... [snip!] ... you had a medical reason but I'm not sure where you are and what your laws are that's why I asked how far along you were."

Actually,in most US states, the latest they will abort is 13 weeks.

user banned 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 21095 posts
25th May '12
Quoting !!Katie!!:" Actually,in most US states, the latest they will abort is 13 weeks."

Since when? I'm pretty sure most places it's still legal until 24 weeks, though it may be hard to find an actual clinic that is comfortable doing it.

Dayan333 3 kids; Japan 105 posts
25th May '12
Quoting preggotrouble1:" I am 20. I have a small job and my bf is in legal trouble. He just got arrested for having to do with ... [snip!] ... for it. If I had an abortion how bad would it be? How bad is an abortion? I don't want to feel so depressed ll my life. Advice?"


Hi! First God bless you and give you strength to have the baby. If this things are happening to you is because God only gives us what we can handle.



I'm pregnant 5 weeks I have to beautiful blessings my daughter 2 yrs and my son 1 yr. I was in something similar like what is happening to you when I was 18 yrs old now i'm 24. I was with a bad boyfriend I foundout when I was pregnant. Since i was still with mom she forced me and my dad to have an abortion done. 1 st time I went I forgot my Id. 2 time we pay legal office offcourse $500 they gave me tylenol and a pill to fall sleep. When I woke up I was so so sad and first thing I ask mom is "Im pregnant" To my surprised I was still pregnant(YES) well they can't explain why but asleep I never let doctors and nurses practice the abortion so doctor god upset and send me home. So 3 try I pray to God and when i open my eyes this time was true. On Jan 25 2007 at 7 weeks 3 days pregnant I had the abortion done. I can't forget the day until now. I was so sad for months I regret so much but my age and maturity didn't help me to decided to keep my baby. And same as you I also through about the baby's dad and I though a baby needed a good roll model. Until a day a friend told me and pointed at a pregnant women he said yes think that one day when your pregnant like that you are going to have a great husband and have kids of your own. Just ask God for forgiveness and hope that you can have children in the future. Because a fact is that by having an abortion done you don't know if you can have the blessing of having to be pregnant again.
I was in your pants I now I now. As of my experienced I promise ill tell my story and hopefully someone like me thinks twice and do not have an abortion done. I regret it so much until today, because we r no body to take life's away they are even here in the forums mothers that are suffering from a misscarrige and which to be pregnant again and have the gift that you and I and 2000 womens have now that is to be pregnant. IF he is a bad guy let him go and if he is going to prison 4 get 4 get it. Have your baby alone you don't need anybody work ask for goverment assitance, they are places where they can help you, anything im here i'm not an expert giving advices my it happen to me and if you got questions or just need someone to talk to i'm here. And if you are strong enough and you don;t really wants this baby don't take his or her life away give it on adoption. Oh and to answer your question abortion procedure doesnt hurst you dont feel it but after your going to have strong period and cramps. But mostly regret



Good bless you