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just a vent.. katie b :) 1 child; Akron, Ohio 2109 posts
29th May '12

I'm fighting with my boyfriend right now because he feels like I HAVE to love him and stay with him because we have a son together. (I don't really want to be with him anymore. I have felt like this since before I got pregnant.). I told him my feelings about a week ago, but I told him that I still wanted to try and make it work. well now he is only making things worse because he tells me that he doesn't deserve this and that I have to love and stay with him because of our son. he tried telling me that us having a baby at the age of 16 was a good thing, and that he should be bringing us together instead of tearing us apart, even though it's him, not our son. don't get me wrong, I love our son to death, but I definitely would have waited. he expects my only priority to be him, and then everything else. including our son. He only cares about his feelings, and never puts mine into consideration. and if I don't agree with what he thinks, he with just start arguing with me about. he makes life so stressful, and I don't need that right now. He is too immature, and he has been lying to me since the beginning of my pregnancy about looking for a job. it wouldn't be so bad if he was looking but didn't get one, but I hate the fact that he's lying to me about it. all he cares about is himself, and I'm tired of it. I want to be happy too. it's kind of a pointless rant, but I had to get it out somewhere :/ thank anyone who read it.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
29th May '12

So just leave?

katie b :) 1 child; Akron, Ohio 2109 posts
29th May '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" So just leave?"


it's not THAT easy. we have been together for over a year, almost a year and a half. and I do still kind of love him, but it isn't working out. an I know if I try and leave, he will suddenly start getting all sensitive and make me feel guilty.

Russian Mommy 1 child; Germany 7779 posts
29th May '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" So just leave?"

:!::!: Like she said, just leave. If you're not happy in the relationship, get out. If you stay in the relationship feeling the way you feel, it will more than likely not end well. Staying in a relationship where only one of the partners is trying never works out well imo.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
29th May '12
Quoting katie b :):" it's not THAT easy. we have been together for over a year, almost a year and a half. and I do still ... [snip!] ... but it isn't working out. an I know if I try and leave, he will suddenly start getting all sensitive and make me feel guilty."



And that is called manipulation



You really can just leave. It isn't worth it to raise a kid where you aren't happy. "Stayig together for the kids" is outdated and harmful to the child

Russian Mommy 1 child; Germany 7779 posts
29th May '12
Quoting katie b :):" it's not THAT easy. we have been together for over a year, almost a year and a half. and I do still ... [snip!] ... but it isn't working out. an I know if I try and leave, he will suddenly start getting all sensitive and make me feel guilty."

It really is that easy. I'm not trying to be mean but you either love him or don't...it's not "I still kind of love him". If you don't want to end the relationship then talk about how your feeling to him and tell him there needs to be a change in the relationship or else you'll leave.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 19458 posts
status 29th May '12

I was married for a few years and that didn't make me have to stay with him because we had a child.... and we were married.



Teenage love rarely lasts anyways.... you certainly have the deck stacked against you, and with what you said its not looking very promising.




You should probably move on to avoid a toxic atmosphere for your child.

katie b :) 1 child; Akron, Ohio 2109 posts
29th May '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" And that is called manipulation You really can just leave. It isn't worth it to raise a kid where you aren't happy. "Stayig together for the kids" is outdated and harmful to the child"


I know. it would be so much easier if I didn't have to see him anymore, but with our son he is always going to be a part of my life.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 19458 posts
status 29th May '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting katie b :):</b>" it's not THAT easy. we have been together for over a year, almost a year and a half. and I do still ... [snip!] ... but it isn't working out. an I know if I try and leave, he will suddenly start getting all sensitive and make me feel guilty."</blockquote>



Then that is your choice to stay miserable if you know he will do that. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you can't complain if you wont change things. Making excuses will keep you right where you are because you will always find new ones.



I was 26, married, with a 1 year old, and I left that scum bag in the middle of the night when I caught him cheating. I had to drive half way across the country to get somewhere safe, leave my dogs, al my posessions, everything.
I could of made excuses, but I decided to act instead. I made a great life instead of lists of reasons why its ok to be miserable.




Good luck.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
29th May '12
Quoting katie b :):" I know. it would be so much easier if I didn't have to see him anymore, but with our son he is always going to be a part of my life."


No. He is a part of your sons life. He just happens to be the guy that impregnanted you.



Plenty of people raise kids in two homes. I'm doing it right now. I wasn't happy. I left.



Cora still has a loving father that she sees all the time.

katie b :) 1 child; Akron, Ohio 2109 posts
29th May '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" No. He is a part of your sons life. He just happens to be the guy that impregnanted you. Plenty of ... [snip!] ... kids in two homes. I'm doing it right now. I wasn't happy. I left. Cora still has a loving father that she sees all the time."


his mom doesn't want the baby anywhere near their house. so the only way for him to see his son is if she drops him off here. and I wouldn't tell him no, that he can't come over anymore, because I do want him in his sons life.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
29th May '12
Quoting katie b :):" his mom doesn't want the baby anywhere near their house. so the only way for him to see his son is if ... [snip!] ... if she drops him off here. and I wouldn't tell him no, that he can't come over anymore, because I do want him in his sons life."


So then he finds a way to see his son



still don't see how this means you HAVE to stay in a situation where you are clearly unhappy and have been for a while

katie b :) 1 child; Akron, Ohio 2109 posts
29th May '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" So then he finds a way to see his son still don't see how this means you HAVE to stay in a situation where you are clearly unhappy and have been for a while"


I know I don't HAVE to. it's just going to be really hard for me to get out of.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
29th May '12
Quoting katie b :):" I know I don't HAVE to. it's just going to be really hard for me to get out of."



"I'm not happy and I don't want to stay in a romantic relationship with you"



done