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army wife? Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12

my boyfriend who is also my daughters father is looking into the army, he turned 18 in march i turn 18 in october. When he went to got talk to the SSGs. they told him we have to get married for him to be able to join... is that true??



Granted we wanna get married but not for a while.

PhukinA! 3 kids; Texas 9135 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting mommy to a lil monkey!:" my boyfriend who is also my daughters father is looking into the army, he turned 18 in march i turn 18 ... [snip!] ... told him we have to get married for him to be able to join... is that true?? Granted we wanna get married but not for a while."

Nope not true.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5680 posts
8th Jun '12

Ive never heard of that, you just wouldnt be able to live on base with him if he were active

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting PhukinA!:" Nope not true."

okay... didn't think so but wasnt sure.. thanks (:

PhukinA! 3 kids; Texas 9135 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting mommy to a lil monkey!:" my boyfriend who is also my daughters father is looking into the army, he turned 18 in march i turn 18 ... [snip!] ... told him we have to get married for him to be able to join... is that true?? Granted we wanna get married but not for a while."


You do have to be married for the military to pay for you to move with him though.

Amelia and Claytons Mommy Due October 14 (girl); TTC since Oct 2013; 2 kids; Fort Drum, New York 3090 posts
status 8th Jun '12

He doesn't have to be married to join. There are a lot of single soldiers, but you just wouldn't be able to live with him. He would have to live on post in the barracks. If you chose to move where he was stationed then you would just have to live off post there.

MiniVanMafiaMom 67 kids; Newton, North Carolina 543 posts
8th Jun '12

you dont have to get married, but your boyfriend would have to have something written out saying that you are the primary care giver of your child, and then he will not get separation pay and the benefits he could get from you being married.

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" Ive never heard of that, you just wouldnt be able to live on base with him if he were active"


Me either... and I know that part.



but it seemed odd to me



so I told SO maybe he was just saying it or something.. idk it's weird

PhukinA! 3 kids; Texas 9135 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting mommy to a lil monkey!:" Me either... and I know that part. but it seemed odd to me so I told SO maybe he was just saying it or something.. idk it's weird"


Maybe the SSG meant it in a different context :?
I can't imagine a SSG giving info THAT bad lol

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5680 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting mommy to a lil monkey!:" Me either... and I know that part. but it seemed odd to me so I told SO maybe he was just saying it or something.. idk it's weird"

That does sound weird. Maybe talk to another recruiter

Mum to a Monster TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Colorado 11565 posts
8th Jun '12

alot of it is, that if something happens to him you are SOL 4 ways to sunday, and your child would not benefit until they were 18.



Edit:if you aren't married that is.

Amelia and Claytons Mommy Due October 14 (girl); TTC since Oct 2013; 2 kids; Fort Drum, New York 3090 posts
status 8th Jun '12
Quoting PhukinA!:" Maybe the SSG meant it in a different context :? I can't imagine a SSG giving info THAT bad lol"


Maybe he was trying to say that you couldn't go with him if he joined unless you were married.

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12

It was really weird how e told him that no one in either of our families that it made any since at all

PhukinA! 3 kids; Texas 9135 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting Amelia and Claytons Mommy:" Maybe he was trying to say that you couldn't go with him if he joined unless you were married."



That is what I'm thinking.
OP it would be easier paperwork wise if you two married before he joined but by all means don't let that be a determining factor in getting married.

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting PhukinA!:" That is what I'm thinking. OP it would be easier paperwork wise if you two married before he joined but by all means don't let that be a determining factor in getting married."


Yeah no i told him WE should wait at lease a little bit .. wait till im done school and take it from there... I don't want to get married just so he can join