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MiniVanMafiaMom 67 kids; Newton, North Carolina 543 posts
8th Jun '12

if you didnt have a kid together it would no be an issue, but because you do he has to give you atleast temp custody of the child because while he is in basic bc he cant take care of the child so the military wants to make sure he is not running from responsibility, and that you wont wait until half way through and sue him for custody and win because he could not be there. they tell you to get married because its cheaper than the first option which is minimum 800 bucks because it has to me done by a lawyer.

PhukinA! 3 kids; Texas 9135 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting mommy to a lil monkey!:" Yeah no i told him WE should wait at lease a little bit .. wait till im done school and take it from there... I don't want to get married just so he can join"


I meant paperwork wise as far as you going with him to his duty stations.
He can join single.
I think it is very responsible of you to want to wait until you are done with school though.

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting Chasity McLean:" if you didnt have a kid together it would no be an issue, but because you do he has to give you atleast ... [snip!] ... you to get married because its cheaper than the first option which is minimum 800 bucks because it has to me done by a lawyer."


OH okay.. that makes more since now.. thank you (:

MiniVanMafiaMom 67 kids; Newton, North Carolina 543 posts
8th Jun '12

glad i could help! ran into the same issue with my ex husband...

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting PhukinA!:" I meant paperwork wise as far as you going with him to his duty stations. He can join single. I think it is very responsible of you to want to wait until you are done with school though."


Yeah I don't want to get married in high school; we've been together for 2 years and have a little girl we are in no rush to get married, we do want to get married in time though just not now and we want to do it when we are ready

MiniVanMafiaMom 67 kids; Newton, North Carolina 543 posts
8th Jun '12

if you have the money to establish custody i would do that. recruiters tell you to get married because most people join the military for money, so they dont usually have a spare 800 laying around. bu they wont let him join until you do one or the other.

Chels (+1) TTC since Dec 2013; 1 child; Biddeford, Maine 524 posts
8th Jun '12
Quoting Chasity McLean:" if you have the money to establish custody i would do that. recruiters tell you to get married because ... [snip!] ... for money, so they dont usually have a spare 800 laying around. bu they wont let him join until you do one or the other."

okay.. thank you very much!(:

PiggyPiggyPiggy 2 kids; Illinois 510 posts
10th Jun '12

Just remember military has a way higher divorce rate, it's stressful, I'm not the military spouse, I'm the one in the military, were on our second child whose due next month, or other is two, I'm thinking about leaving the military once my.time is up (less than a year) the military has taken it's toll on me.that's for sure, and the army.he'd.be gone for long periods of time, what about the airforce? Much.more family oriented