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Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I don't know if this sounds cruel, but I believe adoption would be a million times harder. If I'm going ... [snip!] ... I'm 5 weeks, I know though that if I see a heart beating on the ultrasound screen this will become a million times harder."


Adoption is way harder than abortion. Not everyone has the strength to place a kid for adoption.

Blank™ Beverly Hills, CA, United States 5264 posts
9th Jun '12

Definitely do what feels right for you in your heart. At the end of the day you will be the one dealing with the situation on whichever one you choose. I really wish you the best of luck, whatever decision you decide.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I don't know if this sounds cruel, but I believe adoption would be a million times harder. If I'm going ... [snip!] ... I'm 5 weeks, I know though that if I see a heart beating on the ultrasound screen this will become a million times harder."

My friend has an abortion, they gave her an ultrasound before it happened. She said it made it harder. Her situation was a little tougher than yours though.

Ravey Candyass 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Boston, Massachusetts 103986 posts
status 9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I don't know if this sounds cruel, but I believe adoption would be a million times harder. If I'm going ... [snip!] ... I'm 5 weeks, I know though that if I see a heart beating on the ultrasound screen this will become a million times harder."



that's not cruel. adoption is a hard process and not everyone can handle it. OI know I couldn't

Melinda Lutz 2 kids; Ohio 138 posts
9th Jun '12

I'm not very religious but I've always been taught you won't be given anything you can't handle. With that being said if you aren't 100% sure that abortion is what you want then don't do it because you will be the one to live with your choice and there is no saying how that choice will effect you.

kitermom 2 kids; Beaverton, Oregon 740 posts
9th Jun '12

I've had one and I do not regret it. Do what YOU need to do for yourself!

Whattodo Due February 7; Japan 22 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Mrs. Mama ♥:" My friend has an abortion, they gave her an ultrasound before it happened. She said it made it harder. Her situation was a little tougher than yours though."


A friend of mine just went to the clinic I'd be going to and they left some of it inside of her and she got an infection and had to have an emergency d&c, That scares me so much. I've always been pro choice, but this is harder than I've ever imagined.



It's like I struggle with the two kids I already have, I dont know how I'd care for three, of course you adapt and find a way. but where every day is already a battle , do i want to add a baby in to that ? I feel like id be taking away from the two I already have. See I'm so mixed up and I want to make up my mind like NOW, I can't wait weeks and see a heart beating. I wouldn't be able to do it

Think Bαby 17 kids; Nevada 3635 posts
9th Jun '12

Oh mama, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.



If he's worried about a child "ruining" what you have, what does he think an abortion may do you to emotionally and mentally? As a mother, I believe it'd be incredibly hard to stop a beating heart because a guy thinks it'll "ruin" what you two have. IMO, it sounds like an easy out excuse for him to say.



*hugs* to you. I believe you already know what the right choice is for you and your life.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Mrs. Mama ♥:" My friend has an abortion, they gave her an ultrasound before it happened. She said it made it harder. Her situation was a little tougher than yours though."


They HAVE to give you an ultrasound.. You can ask them no to show it to you.

Natalie & Nolan{EBF} 18 kids; Burlington, North Carolina 6851 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I don't know if this sounds cruel, but I believe adoption would be a million times harder. If I'm going ... [snip!] ... I'm 5 weeks, I know though that if I see a heart beating on the ultrasound screen this will become a million times harder."


Speaking from experience, adoption is very hard...took me forever to accept that I was not the one who would be raising my daughter, and even longer to accept that it made me a good parent, because I gave her a chance to have a great life, one I couldn't provide under the circumstances I was in.



7 years later, the adoption still stings, but she IS in a better place.



Do what will be easiest and best in the long run.



You don't HAVE to see the ultrasound should you choose abortion. They are mandatory in most states due to there being a limit on the age of fetus, but you can request to have it turned around or the sound turned off, and request you not be described what is on the screen.

Whattodo Due February 7; Japan 22 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting think pink:" Oh mama, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. If he's worried about a child "ruining" what ... [snip!] ... an easy out excuse for him to say. *hugs* to you. I believe you already know what the right choice is for you and your life. "


He isn't like that, I know no matter what I chose he'll be in the childs life If I keep it, he's very family orientated but kind of old fashioned, his parents and gparents and GGparents are all still with their first Loves and they all believe that a baby is something you try for, that its something two people want when they are ready. I just feel very mixed up, BUT I guess the only thing i can do is talk to him some more about it all...

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" A friend of mine just went to the clinic I'd be going to and they left some of it inside of her and ... [snip!] ... I'm so mixed up and I want to make up my mind like NOW, I can't wait weeks and see a heart beating. I wouldn't be able to do it"

I believe God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. But if you thik you could go through with it then do it. Just remember you wouldn't be raising a baby alone if your relationship didn't work out. He would HAVE to pay child support or something.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" A friend of mine just went to the clinic I'd be going to and they left some of it inside of her and ... [snip!] ... I'm so mixed up and I want to make up my mind like NOW, I can't wait weeks and see a heart beating. I wouldn't be able to do it"


What kind of abortion did she have? Did she have the pill or the surgical?

A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
9th Jun '12

This situation is really shitty. Part of me wants to tell you that maybe it is the right choice, because it seems like this man is not desiring to be a parent and he may not stick it out. Like you said, he is stable and had a good job, etc. And I'm not saying he could not help you support the child, but that does not mean he wants to be a full time dad. And that can really hurt the child and you.



But the other part of me wants to say, since you are unsure, that it is not the right choice. I think you should be firm either way before you make you decision so you have no regrets. Im sorry you're going through this. I think you should definitely keep weighing your options before you make your choice. And definitely talk to your SO about your feelings about the baby, since he makes no secret about telling you his own feelings about the situation.

Momma +2 Girls 2 kids; Indiana 3612 posts
9th Jun '12

I think his thoughts of having a baby will ruin the relationship is crap.



If he is a man he will stand by your choice and work with u so that the relationship is not ruined either option you choose. If you already know ur not 100% sure to have an abortion, then dont. The small percent of you that doesnt want one will always be in the back of your mind.