Reply
Think Bαby 17 kids; Nevada 3635 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" He isn't like that, I know no matter what I chose he'll be in the childs life If I keep it, he's very ... [snip!] ... when they are ready. I just feel very mixed up, BUT I guess the only thing i can do is talk to him some more about it all..."


I suggest taking some time apart to truly think clearly.

Snow Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
9th Jun '12

I'm glad he's not pushing you towards anything. You need to do what you feel is truly right. If that means, abortion, so be it. If that means adoption or raising the baby yourself, then I'm sure you can find ways to do those things as well. I can tell you though, I got pregnant with LB only two months into the relationship and we're still together. Whatever it is you decide to do, good luck.

Whattodo Due February 7; Japan 22 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Natalie & Nolan{EBF}:" Speaking from experience, adoption is very hard...took me forever to accept that I was not the one who ... [snip!] ... but you can request to have it turned around or the sound turned off, and request you not be described what is on the screen."


I would want to see it, I even took a picture of my belly the day i found out I'm pregnant, so that looking back I can remember and i want to have laid eyes on him/her even if it is in ultrasound form, I listen to myself and look at these actions and ask how could I go through and have an abortion and still come out of it being me, then it's like If him and I decide to try for a baby later down the road, I'll always wonder what similarities these two would have shared.

Whattodo Due February 7; Japan 22 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Link:" What kind of abortion did she have? Did she have the pill or the surgical? "


surgical

Think Bαby 17 kids; Nevada 3635 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting ~Melody~:" I think his thoughts of having a baby will ruin the relationship is crap. If he is a man he will stand ... [snip!] ... sure to have an abortion, then dont. The small percent of you that doesnt want one will always be in the back of your mind."


I completely agree, it's a total easy way out, take the responsibility of the choice off of him to get what he wants.



I wouldn't be shocked at all if she decides to terminate, he pays his half and bails. Hopefully he's meaning what he says.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36713 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" surgical"


they blocted it then. The didnt really do it all. Im sorry that she went thru that.

Natalie & Nolan{EBF} 18 kids; Burlington, North Carolina 6851 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I would want to see it, I even took a picture of my belly the day i found out I'm pregnant, so that ... [snip!] ... If him and I decide to try for a baby later down the road, I'll always wonder what similarities these two would have shared."


The problem is, if you focus so much on a fetus you are aborting, you will find it driving you insane.




Honestly, it sounds like you are not wanting to abort this baby, and are only considering it because he says it is for the 'best'. Best for whom? Him? or both of you?

Snow Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I don't know if this sounds cruel, but I believe adoption would be a million times harder. If I'm going ... [snip!] ... I'm 5 weeks, I know though that if I see a heart beating on the ultrasound screen this will become a million times harder."


I don't know about abortion because I've never had one but I do know about adoption. It is very hard.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Natalie & Nolan{EBF}:" The problem is, if you focus so much on a fetus you are aborting, you will find it driving you insane. ... [snip!] ... to abort this baby, and are only considering it because he says it is for the 'best'. Best for whom? Him? or both of you?"

I totally agree with this! It sounds like you don't really want it & he does just so he doesn't have to take care of a child that belongs to him.

Whattodo Due February 7; Japan 22 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Natalie & Nolan{EBF}:" The problem is, if you focus so much on a fetus you are aborting, you will find it driving you insane. ... [snip!] ... to abort this baby, and are only considering it because he says it is for the 'best'. Best for whom? Him? or both of you?"


I think for the both of us, He knows I'm not stable enough for Three, I struggle Financially with my two but also emotionally, I get so drained and exhausted and struggle that I don't know how I'd manage to do it with three.



I honestly believe that a pregnancy / the choice of having a child isnt just about one person, I think its about the both of you. I think BOTH people should be ready and decide it's time. I value his feelings on this too. I honestly don't think he would bail after I had the abortion. Our relationship is so good, we never fight, always happy and laughing, we click like I've never clicked with anyone else. He pushes me to be my best always, supports every decision I make even if he doesn't really agree with it. I really see this going somewhere, I know that he is a better man that that. I just wish that the timing of this were different and that we could both be happy over this

Think Bαby 17 kids; Nevada 3635 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I think for the both of us, He knows I'm not stable enough for Three, I struggle Financially with my ... [snip!] ... that he is a better man that that. I just wish that the timing of this were different and that we could both be happy over this"


It is a nice idea to talk about it, but conversations about unintended pregnancy should happen before intimacy. At the end of the day, it's your body, and it's your choice.



I hope you can find a peaceful solution for you. <3

Third time's a charm Due December 9; 5 kids; 1 angel baby; Georgia 1407 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Whattodo:" I think for the both of us, He knows I'm not stable enough for Three, I struggle Financially with my ... [snip!] ... that he is a better man that that. I just wish that the timing of this were different and that we could both be happy over this"

I honestly think that if you go through an abortion FOR him, that you will resent him for it and it will ruin your relationship anyway. You need to make this decision for YOU, regardless of his feelings and do not count on him being there, I know they are supposed to pay child support, but i have a 14 year old whose father hasn't paid since he was 5. It depends on your state and how good they are at that. I have had an abortion hun, they are hard, I think that you need to really consider this from all angles. Three isn't really much harder that two :-) but make that decision for you and you alone.

Spanky P McTitties Due November 5; 3 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 390 posts
9th Jun '12
Quoting Bobo's mum:" Dont go through with it until you feel like it is absolutely the right decision for you. Not trying ... [snip!] ... If you are really spread thin with two children... Just make sure you are positive and at peace with the decision you make"


This!

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36713 posts
9th Jun '12

ok op think about it like this...



what if you wanted the abortion and he wanted to keep it. would you stick with the pregnancy anyways?



it isnt about what both of you want. it is about you. you have to go through this. he can leave without thinking twice about it.

JennMommy3.0 3 kids; Wyoming 4275 posts
9th Jun '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Link:</b>" From that statement I can see something happening... a) after you get the abortion he leaves. or b) ... [snip!] ... any kids so he doesnt truly know what those stressors are. Do what yo uthink is best. ETA: I have been through this before. "</blockquote>




I kinda think this also. If you get the abortion you will resent him if your not 100% confident in your decision. This will lead to the end of the relationship if he doesn't leave you after the abortion.
I think you still have two weeks to make up your mind before the pill option is over. Whatever you decide, I hope it's what YOU want bc you are going to have to live with it (meaning another child or not). If you do keep it, he will have to pay child support so you won't be supporting it all alone. Yes there is adoption, but I believe that women who consider abortion know they can't do adoptin bc of the bond that is formed with the baby over the 9 months.
Good luck, I'm sorry you even have to make this tough decision!