Reply
it sucks being with an alcoholic... .nnnb British Columbia 18155 posts
14th Jun '12

:( Dont get me wrong, I love my SO and he is a very loving nurturing partner. But he is at a pub right now hashing out some details about an upcoming job and he says he's coming home soon but i know he won't be able to. He's going to close the bar tonite or run out of money... that we dont have. When it comes to alcohol- I lose everytime.



I just miss him and I had a shit day. He had to work 12 hours today and it would be nice to see him. I know part of him knows he should get home but he wont be able to tear himself away. The person he is working this shit out with doesnt know SO well so he would have no idea he has a drinking problem.



anyway, just complaining. Im always joking around and trying to be optimistic but sometimes i just want to complain about it. lol

VaginaModel Due April 21 (boy); 50 kids; Tennessee 2209 posts
14th Jun '12

Has he tried to seek help? Does he know he has a drinking problem?

Kansas Bonanno 2 kids; 1 angel baby; North Carolina 2193 posts
14th Jun '12

try finding a local alanon meeting, they help alot.

xpubg 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Sacramento, California 37350 posts
14th Jun '12

There's a few alcoholics in my family.



My aunt recently told her boyfriend that if he ever drank again she would leave him (and take their new son).
Apparently he's an angry drunk.

Little Monster Mummy 30+ 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Tyngsboro, MA, United States 1926 posts
14th Jun '12

My aunt is an alcoholic and it's putting so much extra stress on my family (where we already have enough where my grampy just passed away) I wish she would get some help...but she won't. I hope things get better for you mama

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8559 posts
14th Jun '12

We have a lot of alcoholics in our family and at the end of the day if you continue to put up with the behavior you are only enabling it. I know that sounds harsh but its the truth. You need to sit him down and have a serious talk with him about his drinking and let him know it has to stop.

Daniee 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Lynnwood, Washington 3758 posts
14th Jun '12

Has he tried AA meetings and yes for support for others dealing with family or friends who have an addiction you can go to an Alanon meeting.

.nnnb British Columbia 18155 posts
14th Jun '12
Quoting Mariah loves Aliana Faye:" Has he tried to seek help? Does he know he has a drinking problem?"


he doesnt want to seek help but he knows his drinking is outrageous, and useless- and he knows its everything that is holding our family back. but he cant stop

.nnnb British Columbia 18155 posts
14th Jun '12
Quoting Kansas Bonanno:" try finding a local alanon meeting, they help alot."


I go to Alanon every tuesday :)

.nnnb British Columbia 18155 posts
14th Jun '12
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" We have a lot of alcoholics in our family and at the end of the day if you continue to put up with the ... [snip!] ... its the truth. You need to sit him down and have a serious talk with him about his drinking and let him know it has to stop."


In Alanon, you are shown how to deal with the alcoholic in your life a little differently. I'm learning to stop enabling but I also know that my ultimatums work against the process.



I dunno, thanks for letting me vent everyone. His drinking is the only real problem I face in my life, its a big one- but I also have a lot to be thankful for. I rarely post about his drinking, but i was tired cranky and he still wasnt home.. just felt frustrated.

Reignbow 2 kids; Kentucky 1466 posts
14th Jun '12

My dad was an alcoholic for as long as I could remember. I couldnt stand to be around him. Everybody tried to help him but it never worked until he decided himself that he wanted to get sober. He never had professional help. He just stopped. But for a while he was really sick. He said everything in his body hurt, he would shake and couldnt get out of bed, it was terrible! But hes been sober now for over a year. Got a good job and hes much happier. Its the first time we've ever had a relationship. So if my dad can do it, I know anybody can. I never thought he would quit, I just figured hed die a drunk!

Daniee 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Lynnwood, Washington 3758 posts
14th Jun '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting SmashleynSmallyPants:</b>" he doesnt want to seek help but he knows his drinking is outrageous, and useless- and he knows its everything that is holding our family back. but he cant stop"</blockquote>



Well maybe one day he will want the help but I do know that you cannot force him or beg him to. That he has to want it on his own. Or it will not work and he could just relapse if he went in and got sober for everyone else but himself.
I know a lot about addiction, more so NA then AA my uncle has been clean and sober for 23 years and is a NA counselor and my mom is an addict and goes to meetings and is going on 2 years clean in August. I attend meetings with her sometimes to support her and I have met some really great people through NA and they all know me as the normie and my uncle is well known around the world.
My mom was an active addict for 9 years and it broke me down so much. I finally stopped bugging her about it and once she hit her bottom she realized she needed help.
My dad is also an addict and I hope when he gets out of prison he starts attending meetings, he's in there for his drug habit.



I wish you the best of luck, and glad you go to Alanon.

Halley Nicole 3 kids; Waco, Texas 4932 posts
14th Jun '12

97% of my family is alcoholics . And when I say alcoholics I mean they get drunk every single day. 90% of them does some kind of a drug. And I came to realize that u can only help someone that wants to be helped. And if my SO was an alcoholic we would have some problems bc I don't want my kids growing up like me

~ Mommerz ~ 17 kids; Cockburn Town, Turks and Caicos Islands 4429 posts
14th Jun '12

I know what you mean. My so has two OWI's and just can't stop when he starts.. I mean he honestly drinks like once twice every month or less but when we does we get into a fight and he spends all our money. This up coming weekend is our towns celebration and I know he will be a drunk ass all weekend long. :( Spend all of his money b.c he thinks its cool. I almost do not want to be around him at all when he drinks b.c all he does is fight with me. and it makes it horrible. esp when my son sees it .. two-three weekends ago he pack his bag and tried ripping my son outta my arms and ripped up or feather bedding send feathers all over out room with my son and I in the bed. It was midnight. :( Fuggg I know what u mean and are talking about.

.nnnb British Columbia 18155 posts
14th Jun '12
Quoting ~ Emily & Kale ~:" I know what you mean. My so has two OWI's and just can't stop when he starts.. I mean he honestly drinks ... [snip!] ... feathers all over out room with my son and I in the bed. It was midnight. :( Fuggg I know what u mean and are talking about. "


Thats sort of how my SO drinks, he will control his drinking for a time but then once he starts, he will exhaust all avenues to drink until he literally cant find any more alcohol. Im sorry that your son had to see those out of control episodes. DD hasnt seen much of the drama really, but sometimes I feel down about it all. Alanon has really done a great to change that, but it still happens. She always goes and gets me this little cocker spaniel stuffy that my dad got for her and tells me to hug it until i feel better. Such a sweetie, but i feel the guilt of letting her see me sad. Its a very long road, trying to love someone through their addiction.