One year ago mypsych California 199 posts16th Jun '12
On 6/15/11, I was at a clinic sitting in the waiting room, not knowing what i really wanted to do, I had no one by my side, no one to tell me "don't do it". My heart beat got faster as my name was called by the MA, I cried as i waited for the Dr. to come in......as it was happening i started hating myself. It wasn't easy, but unfortunately it was necessary. I have never stopped thinking about "him" (as i referred to the baby) til this day i feel the same empty hole in my heart. I thought it'd get easier as time went by, but it hasn't. I have been so depressed about it, I started lactating today and i think my depression is affecting my hormones. I guess this 'emotional estate' shall eventually pass too...
Tiger_lilly ♥Tony 17 kids; Phoenix, Arizona 2455 posts16th Jun '12
That is heartbreaking to read. But time does heal all IMO. I know personally as I am recovering from PTSD due to a car accident my son and his father that led to his fathers death. It can be hard but if there are absolute no changes I would suggest in finding professional help.