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Momma Riss 3 kids; Texas 1678 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" IMO she is not to blame. He shouldn't have allowed her close enough to seduce him. The minute he began ... [snip!] ... seeing her during the day). He is 100% to blame in every situation unless she raped him somehow, but then that is a crime. "


so a woman is simply allowed to go around taking any man she wants and claim...he could have said no...it's not my fault. Sorry but I just can not wrap my head around that being ok. Women are not stupid, they are not these poor little innocent victims. I thought feminism today was trying to show us that we are strong, smart, confident, and equal to men. But not when it comes to an affair? All of a sudden we become victims, helpless, and blame all men? Just doesn't add up to me.

Momma Riss 3 kids; Texas 1678 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Some people change... but if a man is on the prowl for a mistress, he is going to find one, the first may turn him down, but that doesn't mean he just gives up. "


I completely agree. If a man is on the prowl he will find a woman. And in that situation I would say he is majorly to blame. She still said yes though. Now if she doesn't know that he is married then he is 100% to blame. But a married man that spends a lot of time with a female co-worker, they develop a friendship, innocent at first but eventually it turns into deeper "feelings". Neither were looking for an affair at first, but it happened. In that scenario they are both to blame. IMO.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" so a woman is simply allowed to go around taking any man she wants and claim...he could have said no...it's ... [snip!] ... But not when it comes to an affair? All of a sudden we become victims, helpless, and blame all men? Just doesn't add up to me. "


If men or women go around looking for a mate or a f**k, it's on them.... I don't care if they make it into a sport about how many rings they manage to get into bed, they are promiscuous, nothing more.



I don't mean just women, I mean men as well.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" I completely agree. If a man is on the prowl he will find a woman. And in that situation I would say ... [snip!] ... deeper "feelings". Neither were looking for an affair at first, but it happened. In that scenario they are both to blame. IMO. "


The thing about that last scenario is that the husband must have felt the attraction getting out of hand.. he should have left his wife if he felt "in love" with the coworker, or he should have told the co-worker he couldn't hang out with her anymore.

Satan 5 kids; Satans Kingdom, Vermont 114758 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" what about a situation where you have a fairly happy husband and wife. Another woman decides she wants ... [snip!] ... I can see what your are saying by the man being to blame. But I just don't see how the woman plays no part in that blame. "


If he's so happy..and didn't want to f**k the chick..he wouldn't have.



Like i've said before...it's not like she's raping him.

Momma Riss 3 kids; Texas 1678 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" The thing about that last scenario is that the husband must have felt the attraction getting out of ... [snip!] ... his wife if he felt "in love" with the coworker, or he should have told the co-worker he couldn't hang out with her anymore. "


why couldn't the woman do the same though? We want equality with men and women, why can't a woman own up to an affair just as much as a man? why doesn't she have the strength to say no? I do agree the man should be man enough to stand up and say no. But the woman has a brain too. I am in no way saying that it is all her fault, but she should bear some of the blame.




-this is going to be totally retarded to say...but I have actually enjoyed discussing this with you, it has made me really think. hopefully I haven't pissed you off or anything I can never tell on the computer :D okay, weird and awkward moment done.- as you note to yourself *never talk to mommariss* again.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" why couldn't the woman do the same though? We want equality with men and women, why can't a woman own ... [snip!] ... never tell on the computer :D okay, weird and awkward moment done.- as you note to yourself *never talk to mommariss* again. "


This is D&D.. we are supposed to debate! :D lmao I prefer for people not to agree with me, it makes it more fun! :D:D



And, if the woman was married than I would hold her to the same standards.... I'm not playing gender cards, I'm just using the man as the "husband". Change rules and make it the wife and the other man and I still see it the same way. KWIM?

Momma Riss 3 kids; Texas 1678 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" This is D&D.. we are supposed to debate! :D lmao I prefer for people not to agree with me, it makes ... [snip!] ... using the man as the "husband". Change rules and make it the wife and the other man and I still see it the same way. KWIM? "


Okay yes...I do see what you are saying now! So if they are both married to other people then is it both of their faults?

~*Julie Blue Eyes*~ 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6107 posts
status 23rd Jun '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Momma Riss:</b>" Okay yes...I do see what you are saying now! So if they are both married to other people then is it both of their faults? "</blockquote>




Of.course if the woman is married she would be as to blame as a man who cheated. However, a single woman who pursues a married man like he's just another guy she's perfectly free to sleep with? Um, no.



If I ever started dating a married man, unknowingly, and then found out he was married ...I would be gone so fast his head would spin. Plus, I could care less if I was head over heals in love with the guy, my love would change the second I found out that he was a filthy liar. I don't love liars.



So, even if the fact that she has no obligation to the woman came into play, she's still a pathetic piece of work who is lower than gum on a shoe. You* ( everyone) should treat others how they want to be treated. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.

Momma Riss 3 kids; Texas 1678 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Momma Riss:</b>" Okay yes...I do see what you are saying now! ... [snip!] ... ( everyone) should treat others how they want to be treated. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else."


I agree. I honestly think they are both to blame. I just thought she was saying at first that the man is to blame 100% in every situation. I think she is saying that who ever is married is the one to blame. I think. I am really tired though so I might be thinking in circles lol

DownWithMorons 1 child; Tauranga, New Zealand 5516 posts
23rd Jun '12

A marriage can only be broken from within.



A woman can stand in front of a man and lure him into bed all she wants. Pretty scummy if she knows hes married, but whatever. But here is where a little something called FREE WILL comes in. He can say no. Unless he is raped, he (or she, if we reverse the roles, but will go with he for arguments sake) takes full responsibility.



If you have a strong foundation and a loyal partner, nothing can break that. Not even the most alluring of women.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Momma Riss:</b>" Okay yes...I do see what you are saying now! ... [snip!] ... ( everyone) should treat others how they want to be treated. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else."


Couldn't care less* Could care less means you do care. (Sorry, it's a pet peeve!)



People should treat others how they want to be treated, but that doesn't mean they will nor should they be deemed horrible people because they do not do it. KWIM?

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
23rd Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" what about a situation where you have a fairly happy husband and wife. Another woman decides she wants ... [snip!] ... I can see what your are saying by the man being to blame. But I just don't see how the woman plays no part in that blame. "


I would say they weren't happy at all or he wouldn't have given it a second thought...

DownWithMorons 1 child; Tauranga, New Zealand 5516 posts
24th Jun '12
Quoting Momma Riss:" I have witnessed situations in which it was both parties fault. Both people could say no. But they BOTH ... [snip!] ... you are trying to say but I disagree...once a cheater does not mean they always will be. Some people legitimately do change. "


Yeah, she said, yes, but what you are missing is that the CORE person in this, the one who had made a commitment to another person, to love them and only them, to remain faithful, loving etc was the one who said yes. She could have said no, but she didnt, but by her not saying no, shes not hurting anyone else (assuming shes single). He, by not saying no, has destroyed his marriage. Sleeping with a married man is a shitty thing to do, no-one is denying that. But he has free will, even if she wants it, he can say no. And if he chooses not to say no, that is all on him. Blaming the other woman at all just gives the man who is at fault at out.

* Sara * 2 kids; Texas 18864 posts
24th Jun '12
Quoting ~Ice Princess~:" I would say they weren't happy at all or he wouldn't have given it a second thought..."


If the spouse isn't happy, he or she needs to grow a pair and have enough respect for the other person to let them know.