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I kinda wish there was a fourth option sometimes... 20andneedtotlk1 32 kids; Henderson, Nevada 17 posts
26th Jun '12

I do. Like I'm still the way I am. I don't want it but frankly don't like abortion and adoption isn't a choice he'd do. He's a wealthy professor at my school. He wouldn't have an adoption. And I don't really want to be single. I feel though like why do I have t sacrifice with my principles yet he never does. Like I feel like upset at that. At the same time we have a common interest. I don't like the thought of being pregnant at this but I was going to last time. Yet I feel like I should just try to forget it all but it's just hard the wait this day I'm still pregnant and it just is bothering the fact of possibility plus I can't go along as if it never happened. So today just sucks... I just wish it was a fourth option because I don't like the ones I have... I can't get how I became I look down on what I feel as low to get an abortion... Plus not just that the uncertainty how bad it'll be... How can I cope? Tbh I don't think I would deserve to feel how I did last time. Last time I tried I just lost it and there was nothing I could do this time I'm deliberately killing my unborn child because I feel there's so much at stake if I don't... Idk I don't like me right now. It's just like I don't have any other real choices... I don't want to be a mom... And I don't want to ruin all that's good in my life... All that I've worked for. I know it means more. But then that part of ne that hates this hates it... I feel like the truth is yes I'm letting a person a child my baby dies but it's worth it in the end because I can't handle anything lse. I'm not selfish for doing it because of my life... But I just rather not lose everything for something i don't even really care about or know. Why am I incharge to make this decision when i have no interest in this being's fate? i find that fucked up. i find myself to be messed up to do this... Yet it's somehow for the best in MY life... I feel bad for that but that's how I feel. end of rant just needed to get that off because no one listens. No one understands this. thats obvious. But thats what my life has come to.

Tig Ol' Bitties 2 kids; St Catharines, Ontario 2703 posts
26th Jun '12
Quoting 20andneedtotlk1:" I do. Like I'm still the way I am. I don't want it but frankly don't like abortion and adoption isn't ... [snip!] ... just needed to get that off because no one listens. No one understands this. thats obvious. But thats what my life has come to."


I think the issues that you are describing are comman in women with unplanned pregnanies. I am very sorry that you have to go through this.

мɑkɑnɑni ~*~, FL, United States 62941 posts
26th Jun '12

You'll have to make a decision at some point. Good luck.

FDAFEJAIOFWEJAFOJDWO 18 kids; Illinois 239 posts
26th Jun '12

i had an abortion at 17. i hated myself for a long time. went into a deep depression, needless to say it was not good. now? almost 5 years later...it was prolly the best decision i had made. i was totally not ready to be a parent. i think about it all the time and i guess i dont really regret it just think about what could have been. ur situation is a little different then mine cuz i was more like "talked/forced" into one by my mom. still she was only looking out for me and i see that now. i could never do adoption, would never be an option for me. too hard to be able to feel the baby move inside of you and have a bond for nine fliiping months to just hand the baby over to strangers. im good on that one. so to be honest abortion i think would be less heartbreaking in the end? just my opinion tho.

The Great Mustachio Suck It, PO, Uzbekistan 9383 posts
26th Jun '12

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I hope you can find peace with a decision soon.

The Great Deku Tree 1 child; Kokiri Forest, IN, United States 4161 posts
26th Jun '12

With my first pregnancy, before i began to show, I remember thinking, "I wish I could just stay like this." Like somehow I could keep the fetus my secret, and never have to make a decision. No responsibility or anguish.
I can't really say anything to help you, other than make sure you take all the time you need to decide what *you* really want to do. I did, and I am completely at peace with my decision. Good luck <3.

~*Julie Blue Eyes*~ 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6102 posts
26th Jun '12

How far along are you?

20andneedtotlk1 32 kids; Henderson, Nevada 17 posts
26th Jun '12

I've made my decision it's just being ok with it like being happy with it... Which seems impossible...

20andneedtotlk1 32 kids; Henderson, Nevada 17 posts
26th Jun '12
Quoting E&J+2:" i had an abortion at 17. i hated myself for a long time. went into a deep depression, needless to say ... [snip!] ... strangers. im good on that one. so to be honest abortion i think would be less heartbreaking in the end? just my opinion tho."


I actually was going to parent... I just had a change of events with my bf so yeah... I'm sorry you had to go through that... i had an mc at 18 and I fell through cracks almost there. i know i wasnt ready knew then but i still now grieve over lose him(ithink it was a boy)

FDAFEJAIOFWEJAFOJDWO 18 kids; Illinois 239 posts
26th Jun '12

and you always will. it just doesnt erase itself out of ur memory. it will forever be a part of you. whether u mc/abortion/adoption

Ecstasy 18 kids; Cuba 7748 posts
26th Jun '12

Can i just ask you a question?
- No need for an answer, i suppose just something for you to think about.




But why does the father of this child need to have a say in wether or not you choose adoption if the thought of abortion is having such a big impact on your life already?




I feel like there should be some sort of negotiation if you are still in a relationship & are considering each others feelings etc on this.



If you feel like you will handle adoption better, if it settles well with your soul & you can give a child up, then maybe consider that seriously as an option.



Either way neither of you will have to parent/raise a child & ultimately it sounds like your heart strings will always be attached some how, even though you feel/know this is a decision you have to make.



So many of my friends have gone through with abortions because of what their parents/partners etc wanted and regretted it afterwards because they weren't at peace with the decision.



It really hurt to see them go through that battle with themselves & to see the after math.



If you decide to go ahead with the abortion/adoption please make sure you are truly at peace with the choice you make & seek out some sort of counselling etc afterwards.

20andneedtotlk1 32 kids; Henderson, Nevada 17 posts
26th Jun '12

I need his consent to an adoption... I would do it but I just legally can't.

Ecstasy 18 kids; Cuba 7748 posts
26th Jun '12
Quoting 20andneedtotlk1:" I need his consent to an adoption... I would do it but I just legally can't."


Surely if he cares about you (if your still in a relationship) then he'd understand that this is something you need him to do for you?



To me that seems like the best option for you.. just looking in on the situation i can imagine how torn you are feeling at the moment mama & I really feel for you.



If you both aren't willing/wanting to raise a child, you feel abortion is weighing heavily on your heart, so adoption sounds like the next best option.



If he can't see that & is so selfish that he'd break your heart & basically force you into a corner/abortion or force you to single parent then I think you should consider lying & saying you don't know who the father is so you can legally go through with the adoption.



How would he feel if he were in your position?



Would you force him to abort or would you agree to the adoption?



To me if you sincerely care about someone then you need to sacrifice & come to a mutual agreement.



Please talk to him & let him know your true feelings before letting him push you into a corner.



Claiming you don't know who the father is would surely allow you to place your baby for adoption?..



If that would leave you feeling at peace with a decision that will weigh on your mind/heart for a life time then that might be the best option for yourself.

S & S *20weeks* Due December 29; 16 kids; Larouche, Quebec 1123 posts
26th Jun '12

There is sort of a fourth option similar to adoption. Do you know anyone who can't get pregnant, who wants to adopt, or maybe a relative or friend that wants a baby and would raise it for you? You could sign the baby over to them.

20andneedtotlk1 32 kids; Henderson, Nevada 17 posts
27th Jun '12

the thing is I still am with him he would know I ctt and placed... I think this post is my hormones talking I feel like today it would be .icer if things were just over. Olus he's in the middle of a dramatic divorce. I can't be pregnant would be too stressful for him ruin everything I have with him and ruin my goals with school when it's done today I think I'll feel relief at least I'm not in this state making choices like this are gunna be emotionally draining. He has 2 kids already and doesn't want anymore. I know I should respect that if I care about him... I had a talk with him last guess sleeping on it made things easier...