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I'm pregnant...so is my boyfriend's ex. MissJamie Lynn 5 kids; Utah 140 posts
28th Jul '12

Tomorrow I will be 34 weeks pregnant with my son. I am so close to the end andI can't wait to meet my son! About two weeks ago my boyfriend of 7 1/2 years recently found out that his ex girlfriend is pregnant with his son as well. She is about 4 months behind me. Him and I broke up from August until the end of April so I can't be mad, we weren't together. But now I have so many insecurities and I feel like her pregnancy is overshadowing mine. I'm having a really hard time with everything. He lives with me and is devoted to me and our existing children but I can't shake the feeling that I might just be waiting around for him to leave me for her. Thoughts?

**accountdeleted** South Carolina 2599 posts
28th Jul '12

I would trust him. Talk to him about how you are feeling. Make sure there aren't any feelings left. I'm the type that is insecure when it comes to these things as well. I don't even want to THINK how i would handle being in your position. I bet that is really hard. Especially with pregnancy hormones. :(

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
28th Jul '12

I would have already left him... There is no way in hell I would be pregnant at the same time and call him my boyfriend, screw that shit.

**accountdeleted** South Carolina 2599 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" I would have already left him... There is no way in hell I would be pregnant at the same time and call him my boyfriend, screw that shit. "

Why? they weren't together... so its not like he cheated. That's 8 months they were broken up

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
28th Jul '12

You really can't live like that, if you keep doubting him and your relationship, you're going to be miserable. Pretend she doesn't exist (easier said than done) but just focus on yourself, your pregnancy and your family. If things take a turn for the worst then deal with that when it happens. But try to enjoy what you have now.

* Sara * 2 kids; Texas 18864 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" I would have already left him... There is no way in hell I would be pregnant at the same time and call him my boyfriend, screw that shit. "

:!:

мɑkɑnɑni 1 angel baby; ~, FL, United States 65683 posts
28th Jul '12

It's probably cheaper to stay with her. :lol:

Crystal Mom of 4 4 kids; New York 6309 posts
28th Jul '12

You're a better person then me. Broken up or not I couldn't deal with that.

MissJamie Lynn 5 kids; Utah 140 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting arianna +1:" Why? they weren't together... so its not like he cheated. That's 8 months they were broken up"


It's true we weren't together. He dated her for two weeks and then we got back together. We had been broken up for 7 months when he started seeing her. I feel this overwhelming desire to control the situation. I don't want him talking to her unless it's about the baby, I don't feel like he has the right too. I don't want him in the room with her when she has the baby, although I understand him wanting to be there when his son is born. There is so many things and many people involved now.

**accountdeleted** South Carolina 2599 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting MissJamie Lynn:" It's true we weren't together. He dated her for two weeks and then we got back together. We had been ... [snip!] ... baby, although I understand him wanting to be there when his son is born. There is so many things and many people involved now."

I can't even imagine. You show allow him to be there when he is born but if you trust him he will be devoted to YOU and YOUR family.

MissJamie Lynn 5 kids; Utah 140 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting iLL-Legal Alien T -8wks:" You really can't live like that, if you keep doubting him and your relationship, you're going to be miserable. ... [snip!] ... and your family. If things take a turn for the worst then deal with that when it happens. But try to enjoy what you have now."


It's so hard. I have never been an insecure person ever. Now every time his phone rings or he gets a text I want to throw up.

мɑkɑnɑni 1 angel baby; ~, FL, United States 65683 posts
28th Jul '12

He should request a paternity test.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting MissJamie Lynn:" It's true we weren't together. He dated her for two weeks and then we got back together. We had been ... [snip!] ... baby, although I understand him wanting to be there when his son is born. There is so many things and many people involved now."


Yeah that's something that as much as you hate and not want, you're going to have to let him make a decision on. Remember that he's going to be committed to that child and that child only. Just think about it, he could've left by now...but yourself said that he is with you and devoted to your children, that's what matters.

MissJamie Lynn 5 kids; Utah 140 posts
28th Jul '12
Quoting arianna +1:" I can't even imagine. You show allow him to be there when he is born but if you trust him he will be devoted to YOU and YOUR family."


It is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I try to put myself in her shoes and how I would feel having a baby all by myself and knowing the father is with another woman and has a family with her. Then I get angry and I don't care what she's feeling at all. I am trying to make this as easy on his as possible but it's so hard. The whole thing is so hard. I want it to be like a business transaction but that's not realistic. It just hurts to know that in 3 weeks I will give birth to our son and he will be in there with me supporting me and three or four months he's going to be in there with her. How cute is my 4 month old going to look next to his new born? This sucks.

Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10069 posts
28th Jul '12

If I were in your shoes I would feel the same way...I would want to make sure he only communicated with her about the baby. I also would no way be comfortable with him being in the room while she is having the baby. I think it is inappropriate when he is in a serious relationship with you.

I would try and have a talk with him and express how you are feeling. I know its hard especially when you don't know how his reaction to it will be. But its only natural to feel insecure and worried about the situation. But look at it this way, you have been dating him 7 years...he dated her for 2 weeks.

And whoever said she should leave him? Uhhhh WHY?? They were not together and hadn't been for a long time. What he did during that time is his right. He did nothing wrong to her.