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Legal help! OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
6th Aug '12

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE!



Long story in short terms. My ex and I were together a little over 2 years, our daughter was born in January of this year. Our relationship ended about 3 weeks ago, he kicked me and my son out. We're now living at my parents house. I was a stay at home mom so I am currently looking for employment. So far everything has been civil when it comes to our daughter. I have her for three days, he gets her for three days and so on. Except last night.. he started sending me threatening text messages that he's going to get her more than me or he's going to take me to court for full custody. Also "get me in trouble". I've NEVER ever been in any kind of trouble with the law so I have NO clue what he is talking about. He said he's already talked to a lawyer. I already obtained a custody complaint packet and I have all the papers filled out. In PA it cost $154 to file the complaint. I have just enough money right now to do so. But I have no money to hire a lawyer. I know he's just trying to scare me but one can only worry. My children are my life and I would do anything for them. I just don't know what to do. I know there is no possible way he can prove that I'm an unfit mother and most judges won't just take a child away from their mother. Should I just say the hell with it, and file the papers and go to court with no lawyer? Or wait, until I have the money for a lawyer. I've looked into Public Defenders but they'll only represent someone that was served custody papers. My head is spinning. Any advice?



Here are just some of the texts from him last night.



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OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
6th Aug '12

He is currently living in the house we rented together. He has his own home improvement business but he does not have his MHIC license to work in the state of Maryland. He was convicted of manufacturing and delivery with intent to manufacture and deliver back in 2009 and served time in jail and was on house arrest for over a year.

Crystal Mom of 4 4 kids; New York 6309 posts
6th Aug '12

If you haven't done something tremendously wrong then he doesn't have anything on you and you have nothing to worry about. He sounds like he's just being an ass and trying to bully you into doing what he wants by hanging a mysterious "something" over your head to freak you out. Don't fall for it.

James Mama 3 kids; Arizona 2845 posts
6th Aug '12

He's trying to scare you :( f**k him!

We're all mad here TTC since May 2013; 50 kids; North Carolina 623 posts
6th Aug '12

has he ever been in trouble with the law? bc If my BD has been in trouble with the law tons of times so if he tries to take my son away I'm going to use his past against him

Ashley 2 little miss Ava 1 child; Beaumont, Texas 2477 posts
6th Aug '12

WTF WAHHHHHHHHHH THAT JUST PISSED me OFF!!!! personally i would be like take me to court if you have nothing to worry about a judge will never ever take children from the mother and give the custody to the father unless you are absolutly unfit to take care of them if i was you i would not only save those messages but print them out as well. So when the dick takes you to court which i really doubt he will he will end up looking like the dumbass he is. Idk about there but in the state of texas unless you have gone to court for custody legally no one has custody and if you wanted to you dont even have to let him see the kid. Sorry for what your going through hope it gets better.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
6th Aug '12
Quoting Ashley 2 little miss Ava:" WTF WAHHHHHHHHHH THAT JUST PISSED me OFF!!!! personally i would be like take me to court if you have ... [snip!] ... custody and if you wanted to you dont even have to let him see the kid. Sorry for what your going through hope it gets better."


That's how it is here also. I went through it with my son's father. He took him one weekend and tried to keep him. I have printed out the entire messages and I use them.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
6th Aug '12
Quoting InnocencesDemise:" has he ever been in trouble with the law? bc If my BD has been in trouble with the law tons of times so if he tries to take my son away I'm going to use his past against him"


Yes, in 2009 he was convicted with manufacturing and delivery with it intent to manufacture and deliver. Served jail time and a year of house arrest.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
6th Aug '12

I'm nervous because I do not have money for a lawyer and I know he does.

Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10072 posts
6th Aug '12
Quoting Ashley 2 little miss Ava:" WTF WAHHHHHHHHHH THAT JUST PISSED me OFF!!!! personally i would be like take me to court if you have ... [snip!] ... custody and if you wanted to you dont even have to let him see the kid. Sorry for what your going through hope it gets better."



This is not true. My ex got custody of my daughter just because I did not have my own place and was staying with someone. I have no past, never done a drug in my life, rarely have a drink, no mental illness', etc and I have 2 other kids I take care of with no problems. It depends on the judge.




OP- I went through this exact thing. I represented myself. I also had no money for a lawyer and he did. I did NOT get primary custody tho. If I could have done it with a lawyer I would have hands down.

~Hayden's~Mommy~ 1 child; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 1578 posts
6th Aug '12

where at in PA do you live?



i know for me it was 300 to file for custody of my daughter. I just did it last week. My lawyer is amazing and allows me to pay her monthly as we go. I do not own my own place and I am staying with my BF (been together for 3 years). My lawyer filed the papers and sent them out last week. Basically i have nothing to worry about. Just bc my daughters father owns his own place didn't matter when i asked. He's not the best person. The fact that I am working and in school played a big part.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
7th Aug '12
Quoting ~Hayden's~Mommy~:" where at in PA do you live? i know for me it was 300 to file for custody of my daughter. I just did ... [snip!] ... own place didn't matter when i asked. He's not the best person. The fact that I am working and in school played a big part. "


I'm 45 minutes from Harrisburg. It's called Hanover. It's $154 to file the papers here.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
7th Aug '12
Quoting Gor-Jess!:" This is not true. My ex got custody of my daughter just because I did not have my own place and was ... [snip!] ... for a lawyer and he did. I did NOT get primary custody tho. If I could have done it with a lawyer I would have hands down."


I agree that sometimes it does matter who the judge is. This is why I filed my papers already and I'm not giving him the chance to do so.

OneBoyOneGirl♥ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 15 posts
7th Aug '12

Ladies I filed my papers with at the Prothonotary Office this morning. I'm not giving him the opportunity to file in the county he lives in. I've already been through this with my son's father in the county that I live in and I came out with full custody of my son. Plus it does look better that I took the control and filed the papers. Say a prayer for me please!