Reply

Cast Your Vote:

    • I'd rather a BD I'm not married to sign it -- Votes: 11
    • I'd never let a BD I'm not married to sign -- Votes: 10
Pros and cons of BD signing(or not) the birth certificate CandyKisses313 1 child; Michigan 120 posts
9th Aug '12

What are the benefits of having your BD sign or not letting him sign the birth certificate??? At first I was very emotional about the subject when my BD sad he didn't want to because of CS, but I managed to get him to agree to sign it. I'm unsure if he has changed his mind, but I realize now that it doesn't matter as far as CS goes...



I understand that you have full custody if you don't allow him to sign the BC, but what are the pro's and con's of having him sign it, and not signing it? In you ladies experience of course... My BD has a 3 year old that he loves dearly but he isn't very financially involved with him, though he does complain about the limited time they have together. I know he'll be there as far as seeing his upcoming son goes, just not financially.. I'm worried one day he'll fix his shit and fight me for custody since my house isn't ideal for a kid (crowded, small space) and my employment status isn't exactly the best, and I still have to get my GED.. which I plan to do after I have the baby.




Pro's and Cons everyone? Of having him sign the BC opposed to nor allowing him to do so? (or if he didn't want to)




THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL ADVISE... and yes I realize my BD is a douche, I'm simply looking for a list of pros and cons of each option. (State of Michigan)



Thanks sooo much!

LumpySpacePrincess 2 kids; New Zealand 17060 posts
9th Aug '12

Benefits - child support without the need of a dna test
Negatives - custody issues (though this could also be viewed as a positive as your child will get time with his father without question)

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
9th Aug '12
Quoting Lisa Lopezzz:" What are the benefits of having your BD sign or not letting him sign the birth certificate??? At first ... [snip!] ... my BD is a douche, I'm simply looking for a list of pros and cons of each option. (State of Michigan) Thanks sooo much!"


Just wanted to say that we are in similar situations. My BD has two kids that he loves dearly but can't really be there financially. I'd like to know the answer to this question too.

"The Boob" [HM] 2 kids; Kingman, Arizona 15719 posts
9th Aug '12

I kind of feel like, in most cases, it is a child's birth right to have their father listed on the birth certificate. Me and my kids' dad are not married and he is on both of theirs. I would never deny someone that if I knew they were the father.



It's kind of different though if they don't want to. I would still try to prove paternity through the courts for child support in a case like that.

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
9th Aug '12

If he's a good guy and wants to be around, I don't see a reason not to.



Custody isn't established at birth, though. I'm pretty sure of that.

Had my 10/10/10 baby! Brighton, ca, United States 1144 posts
9th Aug '12

Custody is what I'm dealing with right now and it is horrible!!! BD signed it I wish he didn't since he wasn't in DD life for the first year and his agenda will always be more important than DD. I wished he didn't sign it I don't need child suport. I do not want to be stuck 100 miles from where I live now, dealing with her going over to his house, and everything for the next 18 years >{

LumpySpacePrincess 2 kids; New Zealand 17060 posts
9th Aug '12
Quoting "The Boob" [HM]:" I kind of feel like, in most cases, it is a child's birth right to have their father listed on the birth ... [snip!] ... though if they don't want to. I would still try to prove paternity through the courts for child support in a case like that."


:!::!::!::!:



SO was put on the boys birth certificates. My sister told me not to in case we ever broke up, just put them on once we got married. That felt weird to me, like I was holding my kids for ransom for a marriage.



My dads not on my bc and it looks so empty with it's "not recorded" ont he last third of it. But he's an ass so it works out.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
9th Aug '12

Well if he is on the bc then he can take your lo and keep him from you if he gets pissed until you go to court and establish custody.

Sugar. 17 kids; New Zealand 779 posts
9th Aug '12

If he doesn't want to then there isn't much you can do.

αuτumnαl ~, FL, United States 67173 posts
9th Aug '12

If you file for CS it won't matter if he's on the BC or not.

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
9th Aug '12

And, anyway, he could try to get custody even if he's NOT on the birth certificate. It might be more difficult, but it might come out looking worse on you if you tried to "deny" him that "right." I'm not sure how that would pan out in court.

* Sara * 2 kids; Texas 18864 posts
9th Aug '12

It doesn't really matter much in the end. If he is the father, he can have a dna test done through the courts and they will determine custody and child support. If you want to, put him on there. If you don't want to, then don't.

His Wife & Her Mommy :-) Due April 10 (boy); 1 child; Brentwood, New York 600 posts
9th Aug '12

He is dumb if he is on the BC or not if you take him to court they do DNA and he will end up paying. And I would not put a boyfriend on my babies BC. Let him prove his self that he is a good father which you will not know in a few month or a year wait it out trust men change or wait till marriage. And he seems like a dick for saying he doesnt want to sign because of BC thats a red flag right there it kind of saying he doesnt want to take care of the baby or at least not a lot money wise he should care about loving and care for the baby emotionally and financially not fucking thinking "oh dont put me on CS" b.s. & if you dont hey 1. incase you break up he is not on it 2. its not like a piece of paper says you can be a father or not he should be a father regardless if on the BC 3. if you ever need CS you can get it without him being on BC 4. He can always be put on at anytime.

CandyKisses313 1 child; Michigan 120 posts
10th Aug '12

What are some of the more elaborate cons of having the BD on the BC? Can a BD without much money honestly likely get custody or take my son away from me?
I have no kids, I ask for information...



What are the best ways to line my ducks up in a row now to ensure the best outcome for my child?

His Wife & Her Mommy :-) Due April 10 (boy); 1 child; Brentwood, New York 600 posts
10th Aug '12
Quoting Lisa Lopezzz:" What are some of9 the more elaborate cons of having the BD on the BC? Can a BD without much money honestly ... [snip!] ... I ask for information... What are the best ways to line my ducks up in a row now to ensure the best outcome for my child?"

They only time I heard of the baby living with the father is if the mother is unfit to care for it so I dont think you have to worry and he can not take the baby away from you if he is not on the BC but if her is he either needs to sign over his rights or you need to get custody asap after the baby is born