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Deployment Bently'sMommy♥ 1 child; Batavia, IA, United States 106 posts
17th Aug '12

After my boyfriend came home from his last drill (last month) he said he had some crappy news. When he said it I already had an idea of what it was going to be. He told me that more than half of his platoon will be deployed to Afghanistan in January for 9 months. He isn't for sure yet if he's on the list and won't be finding out till November. My heart dropped and though it isn't for sure, it has really gotten to the both of us.
I try not to bring it up because I know it hurts him to think about it. But I don't really have anyone else to talk about it to. When he said for 9 months, millions of things ran through my head. 'What about our son, he won't know who is daddy is' 'This man is my best friend, we were supposed to raise our son together' 'He will miss out on so much' 'What if he gets hurt, or worse what if he gets killed' 'Half my heart is going to be in Afghanistan.'
I knew that there was always a chance that this card would be dealt to us. But when I became pregnant I put it far in the back of my head. I am not worried about losing the physical contact or being able to talk to him everyday (though words can't explain how much I would miss it) I can do that. But the thought of him missing out on his son first year of life, just breaks my heart. I know that he hates the thought of that too.
I was lucky enough to fall in love with a man who puts his girl, and family first. But now there's a possiblity that he's going to be taken away from me for almost a year. I know that he will be out keeping his country safe, but I can't help but wish it just won't happen and he will be here with his son and I. Watching him crawl, walk, and talk. I know this is not the end of the world, but I can't help but worry. Adivce?

account is deleted Maine 3500 posts
17th Aug '12

Record EVERYTHING. Even though he wont be there in person, when he does come back , you two can watch it together and he'll still get to be a part of his firsts. Thats about the only advice I can give. :/

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
17th Aug '12

It's hard, it really is. But that's military life. SO is deployed, he left when DD was one week old and won't be back until shortly before her first birthday. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.

Maebaby&Grayson Due October 15; 2 kids; South Carolina 7556 posts
17th Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bently'sMommy♥:</b>" After my boyfriend came home from his last drill (last month) he said he had some crappy news. When he ... [snip!] ... his son and I. Watching him crawl, walk, and talk. I know this is not the end of the world, but I can't help but worry. Adivce?"</blockquote>




Dh is AF and the sent him on deployment when i found out i was pregnant with dd he wasn't supposed to come home till the week of her due date but the sent them all home early he was supposed to be gone Aug to April. But came home in October 3 days before we found out the sex :-) now he supposibly cant deploy for a year. :-)
Good luck.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
17th Aug '12

It is what it is. You can choose to embrace it or make it horrible. My best friend just came back home yesterday after a year tour. He's more than just a friend, more like a brother and significant other. It is hard to explain the relationship we have. But it tore him up that he wouldn't be here for my son being born and missing out on everything up until this point. But they can call, they can use facebook. You can video chat/skype with them which really helps. You can keep your SO involved as much as you can by taking lots of pictures and having pictures of your SO to show your LO and say this is daddy. And talk about him. Video chats help too so your LO can see and hear him. Make a recording of him reading a story or singing a song so your LO can be familiar with his voice.

Bently'sMommy♥ 1 child; Batavia, IA, United States 106 posts
17th Aug '12
Quoting shes.so.vain:" Record EVERYTHING. Even though he wont be there in person, when he does come back , you two can watch ... [snip!] ... back , you two can watch it together and he'll still get to be a part of his firsts. Thats about the only advice I can give. :/"

Thank you!

Bently'sMommy♥ 1 child; Batavia, IA, United States 106 posts
17th Aug '12
Quoting FaithLovesBaby:" It's hard, it really is. But that's military life. SO is deployed, he left when DD was one week old and ... [snip!] ... DD was one week old and won't be back until shortly before her first birthday. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me."

He's going to find out shortly after his sons birth, and will be here for almost two months afterwards which is better than a week. I just keep thinking about how four months was hard, with out a baby and he wasn't in any danger then. Do you know if his chances are thinned out because he has a child on the way? Or do they not look at that? But thank you, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to. I wish you the best of luck and that he will come home safe.

Bently'sMommy♥ 1 child; Batavia, IA, United States 106 posts
17th Aug '12
Quoting Maebaby2012:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bently'sMommy♥:</b>" After my boyfriend came home from ... [snip!] ... But came home in October 3 days before we found out the sex :-) now he supposibly cant deploy for a year. :-) Good luck."

Well you had some great luck! (: now I hope we get that lucky. But thank you.

Bently'sMommy♥ 1 child; Batavia, IA, United States 106 posts
17th Aug '12
Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" It is what it is. You can choose to embrace it or make it horrible. My best friend just came back home ... [snip!] ... LO can see and hear him. Make a recording of him reading a story or singing a song so your LO can be familiar with his voice. "

Yes, it is what it is. But thank you. I will definitley be looking into all of that. I wasn't sure if they would be able to use those things.

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
17th Aug '12
Quoting Bently'sMommy♥:" He's going to find out shortly after his sons birth, and will be here for almost two months afterwards ... [snip!] ... at that? But thank you, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to. I wish you the best of luck and that he will come home safe."

I have no idea how they choose. But I know some people end up not going because of medical reasons. SO's entire squad got deployed, they actually didn't have enough people.

felicia shelly Due April 20; Niagara Falls, 37 posts
17th Aug '12

my sons dad came home for 18 days on leave from over there when dd was 5 days old and left when he was 3 weeks and not home til dd is about 8 months old ..we do skype and i post5 pictures on facebook everyday ...he doesnt call homem but he does call and leave a voice maill on my cell phone talking to dd and i play it for him...plus before matt left we got 2 books that your record your voice reading the stroy so every night before dd goes to bed i show him a picture and say look its daddy and then i do the book with him for days that matt cant get come the computer

-A- Due October 22; 1 child; Pearl City, Hawaii 1341 posts
18th Aug '12

you cant do it, i was pregnant and taking care of our daughter all by my self he didnt get to meet her till she was 2 months and again at 7 months before deploying. But all you can do is skype and let him to talk to him. when my daughter seen him again at 15 months she instantly fell in love with him. Its like they know who there daddy is. Just be strong for now and pray that he wont have to leave. Deployment f**king sucks

HannahChristine 18 kids; Jacksonville, North Carolina 707 posts
20th Aug '12

My husband deployed when my daughter was a couple months old and came home around her first birthday. He called as much as possible and talked to her, sent us pictures (we made a little book for her) and sent lots of those recordable books. I recorded as much as I could for him. We got really lucky with her walking.. he was actually on skype when she took her first steps towards the computer to see "daddy" :) She also said her first word (Dada) on skype. Of course this was all luck, but it melted his heart.
When we went to homecoming my husband walked off the bus and our little girl who hadnt seen him in 8 months went stumbling right up to him and gave him a big hug. I was soooo happy she knew exactly who he was. It was like he never left. :)