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I dont know what to tell her... takemeaway Due February 17 (girl); 2 kids; Kansas City, Mo, United States 1108 posts
17th Aug '12

.........................

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
17th Aug '12

I usually tell my son, who is almost 3, that his dad is at work or sleeping, even though those are both not true. (His dad doesn't have a job anymore)



He doesn't ask for him very much though.
I don't know why but I'm not going to question it.

takemeaway Due February 17 (girl); 2 kids; Kansas City, Mo, United States 1108 posts
17th Aug '12

Good idea im not looking forward to when she is older and keeps on asking about him

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
17th Aug '12

Me either.
Or when he asks me why his dad doesn't like/want/love him enough to be there for him.



:(



Hopefully I'll find a better man this time and my son will feel like he has a dad.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
19th Aug '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" I usually tell my son, who is almost 3, that his dad is at work or sleeping, even though those are both ... [snip!] ... dad doesn't have a job anymore) He doesn't ask for him very much though. I don't know why but I'm not going to question it."


why on earth would you lie to him? If there's no active father.. tell your child his daddy lives away.. and that you love him and care for him.



--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
19th Aug '12
Quoting snugglemama:" why on earth would you lie to him? If there's no active father.. tell your child his daddy lives away.. and that you love him and care for him. "


I don't know, no one ever told me it was bad to say.
When I first started telling him that it was true and I just havn't stopped.



His dad comes around once in a while.
Should I change it to that he's away?

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
19th Aug '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" I don't know, no one ever told me it was bad to say. When I first started telling him that it was true ... [snip!] ... him that it was true and I just havn't stopped. His dad comes around once in a while. Should I change it to that he's away?"



I would. Just always keep it simple but honest. If he asks why.. just say it's just how things are...he lives with mommy.

I'm divorced... different situation.. but we share custody. My daughter at 2... didn't understand.. but we taught her "mommy's turn, daddy's turn." when she asked why... we just said.. it's just how we're doing it.. it's mommy's turn to spend time with you right now.



user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
19th Aug '12

I told my daughter he ran away... I mean we broke up and I kicked him out, but he chose to walk away from her forever. She went through a stage where she'd ask where he was all the time, and show envy towards other children and their dads, etc. I answered all her questions honestly, keeping in mind what he could understand. After nearly a year of that I started telling her I didn't want to talk about it, and one day she stopped asking. Now she's forgetten about him and calls SO daddy, and I'll let her believe that until it needs to be addressed.

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
19th Aug '12

I tell LO he's asleep, he's at work. SHe usually moves on at that point. As she gets older I might explain more, but I'm not sure how to do that without making her feel bad that he doesn't try to see/talk to her.

MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
19th Aug '12

I dread and worry about this question too! LO just turned 1 and hasn't seen BD since she was 7 months old. He's not in our lives at all, and I worry about how I will answer her when she asks. I never want her to feel like there's something wrong with HER or that it is in ANY WAY her fault that he's not around :(