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so my bf is a liar. Now what? Advice? teenmomof3tobe Due April 13; 2 kids; Henderson, Nevada 48 posts
21st Aug '12

I've been with my bf for 6 months. He's been great. I thought he'd make a great dad. He has a great career. He's great with the boys. He treats me in such a great way. He's taught me stuff on relationships before I had never had. I loved him I thought I could trust him. Now nothing he really says is true to me. im apparently not the only woman in his life. and im not the most important. He is married to another woman he's separated from. I found this out through distant family. He has 2 kids with her and is a deadbeat with them. He says he's getting a divorce and that with her it's hard dealing with her... He wanted me from the beginning to get an abortion. Now I'm way confused. I still like him and I feel like he won't be a good dad. That I can't have a 3rd deadbeat babydaddy. My oldest son is almost 1. And Mark is almost 3 months. I can't think of how I could possibly handle him treating me the way he does his wife. I'm 19 and 6 weeks pregnant. Not really excited but don't really know like the other timesmy situations were worst than this with my boys that I feel maybe it's not so bad. But at the same time, I feel like would having another child be selfish to the children I do have.... Anyhow advice??

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
21st Aug '12

Honestly, I'd get an abortion if I were in your shoes.

Courtney Jayne Due October 1 (girl); 1 child; Audubon, Iowa 103 posts
21st Aug '12

Please stop having babies! I mean that from my heart. It's hard as an adult let alone at 19. I would consider adoption and possibly get an implant birth control and have no more until you're married. 6 months isn't long enough to live with someone let alone create a baby with. Please think of your future.

V & E's Mom! 2 kids; Stockton, California 4782 posts
21st Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Courtney Jayne:</b>"



Who are you to tell her to stop having babies?



Anyways OP I would look into abortion. Your situation isn't ideal. If you can't have 3 dead beat baby daddy's, then have one. Also, that isn't the best situation to get mixed up in. I'd stop talkin to him as well and get myself out of that huge mess and focus on my 2 kids already here. There isn't anything wrong with abortion and you should do what's best for you and your two kids. You should focus on them and not have this stress in your life.

Courtney Jayne Due October 1 (girl); 1 child; Audubon, Iowa 103 posts
21st Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting V's Mom! [EXPECTING #2!]:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Courtney Jayne:</b>" Please stop having babies! I mean that ... [snip!] ... to get mixed up in. I'd stop talkin to him as well and get myself out of that huge mess and focus on my 2 kids already here."</blockquote>



Someone who doesn't want to pay for someone else's kids because they keep having them with men who won't step up. Btw...who are you to tell her to have an abortion? Big fat kettle right there honey. If your small mind continued to read I advised her to have children when she is married or in a more stable relationship. I don't care who you are 19 is no age to be having 3 children.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
status 21st Aug '12

I personal think you should think of adoption. As for selfish on the children, its already selfish that you have 2 kids that are at least 9 months apart with 2 different guys. Is there a reason (mentally) that keeps you having kids? Abortion to me would be wrong because there are so many people out there that can't have children that would love a child. You need to stop getting pregnant your only 19 and your already on the 3rd baby and 3rd baby daddy. 6 month into a relationship isnt good to be living and making babies together. Where is your family when all this happened? I am truly sorry you have put yourself in such a hard situation. Do it for you and your 3 kids and stop having babies!

teenmomof3tobe Due April 13; 2 kids; Henderson, Nevada 48 posts
21st Aug '12

I actually used bc with this one it failed me. My first I was raped. My second son is my biggest mistake. I thought because I was able to breastfeed I wasn't able to get pregnant. And I got pregnant because of poor choices and my then addiction to heroin which I soon quit. I wanted adoption. Things got better I changed my mind. I don't want a baby with him. I know that at the same time I do feel like in my last situations where I ctted my first after being homeless addicted to heroin and the pregnancy resulting from rape. And still not regretting my decision to keep him. And then my second son struggling with addiction and Jayden being a newborn and a premie. And working a job at ihop. Certainly neither of those were aat all better than this. I have more money this time around. I am a lot more healed from the whole childhood mess.so yea....

Jynxd Blyss Due November 11 (girl); 4 kids; Australia 907 posts
21st Aug '12
Quoting teenmomof3tobe:" I've been with my bf for 6 months. He's been great. I thought he'd make a great dad. He has a great career. ... [snip!] ... so bad. But at the same time, I feel like would having another child be selfish to the children I do have.... Anyhow advice??"


You should do what you consider the right thing for you, Kick that man to the curb, And then really think about whether an abortion or keeping the baby is what YOU want, Don't let the fact he's a lying deadbeat be the only reason you make the decision, Decide for yourself what is best, And what will work.
I have almost 5 kids (5th is baking) and 3 dads, It's not ideal, But it happens, And it's not the worst thing in the world.

V & E's Mom! 2 kids; Stockton, California 4782 posts
21st Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Courtney Jayne




You do realize when the mods see this your posts will be removed (or hidden) anyways? This is a protected forum! It's abortion survivors, and that means you support the OP. there are rules to this forum. And if you can't abide by them then leave. She's posting In abortion survivors for a reason, not to be told to top having kids by someone who thinks they're better than them.



I never once said "op go have an abortion" I gave her MY opinion on the situation by telling her it is something ID consider.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
status 21st Aug '12
Quoting teenmomof3tobe:" I actually used bc with this one it failed me. My first I was raped. My second son is my biggest mistake. ... [snip!] ... aat all better than this. I have more money this time around. I am a lot more healed from the whole childhood mess.so yea...."


The only advice i can give you is to make the best decision you can with the unborn childs best interest at heart he or she didnt ask to be in this situation so you got to do what feels right to you.

Erika Rylands 2 kids; Peru, Indiana 531 posts
21st Aug '12

I'm not going to tell you what to do with your unborn child but if you don't want to keep it, please consider adoption. As for your relationship... LEAVE HIM! He is married!!! He will probably never divorce his wife for you. I'm not trying to be a b***h but if he really wanted to end it with her, he would have pushed for the divorce a long time ago.

Courtney Jayne Due October 1 (girl); 1 child; Audubon, Iowa 103 posts
21st Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting V's Mom! [EXPECTING #2!]:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Courtney Jayne:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting V's ... [snip!] ... I never once said "op go have an abortion" I gave her MY opinion on the situation by telling her it is something ID consider."</blockquote>
I did support her while also giving my opinion, just like you. I never insulted her or told her that having an abortion is a horrible thing. You obviously have some issues lady. You're opinion isn't any better than mine just because it's yours. I'm not concerned with my comments being deleted or blocked because I know I was truly speaking from my heart and out of concern for her.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
21st Aug '12
Quoting Courtney Jayne:" "


really? who are you to say what she should do?

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
21st Aug '12

If I were in your shoes, I would also get an abortion. Being a mother of 2 at 19 has got to be difficult. Being the mother of 3 at 19 and without support will be incredible difficult. You need to consider how another child might effect the children already here.

And let's be really honest with ourselves for a moment, this dude isn't going to leave his wife and 2 kids and decide he ISN'T going to be a deadbeat this time around. It's not going to happen.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
21st Aug '12
Quoting Courtney Jayne:"


Do you know how your reply sounds to someone that is going through somthing like this. This is a protected forum.