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Miscarriage Carrie Smith84 18 kids; Loreauville, Louisiana 8 posts
23rd Aug '12

My 1st miscarriage and I feel like I'm dying inside! I woke up last Thursday morning bleeding I wasn't cramping or hurting just bleeding so I flipped out started crying made my husband drive me to the ER, get there and the bleeding has stopped but they check me out and do an ultrasound which doesn't tell much except that sack only measures 6wks 3days which freaks me out because it should be measuring 11 weeks and nurse can't find a heartbeat and she's like oh it's okay sometimes it's hard to find a heartbeat when it's early in the pregnancy like that's supposed to comfort me! They send me home and the very next morning it starts again but this time its much worse so I go back to the ER and this time I get this ass of a doctor who wouldn't check me out or answer any of my questions and then proceeds to tell me that I am having a miscarriage and I need to suck it up and get over it and to go freaking watch a movie! Who talks to their patient like that? I went home waited 2 days and went to another ER Sunday where I actually caught my baby as it was sliding down my leg which pretty much killed me inside! My question is how do I get past this I am so angry and hurt inside! I feel so alone, my husband acts like nothing happened to him and it makes me want to hurt him! He's like you need to hurry up and go back to work so we can do this and do that! I just don't know how to do this?

Super Mommy! 4 kids; ☺, CA, United States 14500 posts
status 23rd Aug '12

I'm sorry you're going though this. Did your ObGyn schedule you for a follow up to make are all tissue has passed so you don't get an infection? People grieve in their own ways. I don't think there is a right or wrong way, just go through all the emotions you feel, and hopefully with a little time and faith/hope you'll feel better and be able to try again when you're ready.

tango25 Due August 20; North Carolina 202 posts
23rd Aug '12

im sorry about the miscarriage. I know that it is hard. I lost my baby last year 1st time expecting and my SO and i talked about it and he called it a ball of cells....that it wasnt a baby yet ...I said to me it is a baby and the only thing that comforted me was knowing the baby was in heaven with my mother. I dont know ....If men had to carry the babies they would understand better or not. If you need anyone to vent or talk to you can message me. I had to have a D and E with no insurance coverage so that procedure was expensive....but I am glad that whatever was wrong ....I am now glad that it happened when it did and not farther along in the pregnancy. I am sure to miscarry that something isnt right..

Erin Berlin 1 child; Akron, Ohio 292 posts
23rd Aug '12

Awh, I am so sorry to here you lost your little one. Having never had a miscarriage, I can't really help with personal experience. In the first 3 months of this pregnancy I was always worried that I would miscarry, just because all of the people in my family are firm believers in you're not really pregnant until 12 weeks. "Safe zone." It gave me a lot of unnecessary worry. My doctor explained to me that miscarriage is just the bodies way of getting rid of a baby that wasn't healthy enough to live on its own. It's a natural thing. I know that is so hard to think about when you've already connected with your baby and had to see the miracle growing inside of you pass on. I think the important thing to remember is that this is STILL your child. You still have a son or daughter. Your time was just cut short. Forgetting and moving on probably isn't the healthiest way to cope. I think you need to give yourself some time and allow yourself to accept what has happened. Talk to your OB about it, she can probably give you some information on miscarriage or help you find a support group or recommend a book. I wish the best to you and your family.

Cordelia's Mom 33 kids; Bakersfield, California 3685 posts
23rd Aug '12

I'm sorry that you've also had to go through this! The only thing that helped me is to cry it out and just feel how you feel until you're better. I cried randomly throughout the day for 5 days after it happened to me and it made me feel a lot better. Idk what to say about your man but I hope he comes around and realizes how you feel.

TaeganElise35wks1day Due September 25 (girl); 1 child; 2 angel babies; Atlanta, Georgia 1864 posts
23rd Aug '12
Quoting Carrie Smith84:" My 1st miscarriage and I feel like I'm dying inside! I woke up last Thursday morning bleeding I wasn't ... [snip!] ... hurt him! He's like you need to hurry up and go back to work so we can do this and do that! I just don't know how to do this?"


Never been thru a miscarriage, but have went thru cancer with my son and it was very hard to deal with. I was angry, confused, asking why and also tried to block it out and just went thru the motions of it all. It may not be that he is acting like nothing happen, but the way he is handling his own grief about the situation. Yes, I do understand that if this was a child he was wanting as well and just as much you would think his emotions would show like yours. Your not wrong for feeling how you do about the situation and towards him nor is he; even though may not be the healthiest way to deal with it, but that's what he is doing. He may feel as though he has to be strong for you and if you both are down and out....who will be the person to say lets try it again. Talk to him and understand his feelings and he can then understand yours. Going back to day to day life is his comfort zone and to think about losing a child is maybe something he can't come to grips with and its easier to block it out. Just imagine.....there he is with his lovely wife who is carrying his child in the ER knowing that at the end of this visit you both would leave different than what you came. To see the many tears fall from your eyes as you wonder way....Who is going to be strong for us? I am ( he says )

TaeganElise35wks1day Due September 25 (girl); 1 child; 2 angel babies; Atlanta, Georgia 1864 posts
23rd Aug '12
Quoting Carrie Smith84:" My 1st miscarriage and I feel like I'm dying inside! I woke up last Thursday morning bleeding I wasn't ... [snip!] ... hurt him! He's like you need to hurry up and go back to work so we can do this and do that! I just don't know how to do this?"


God will bless you again....trust me

Carrie Smith84 18 kids; Loreauville, Louisiana 8 posts
23rd Aug '12

Thanks Ladies!!! I go back to my doc for labs in the morning and then again next Tuesday to see the doc hopefully the bleeding will have stopped before I go back to see him Tuesday! I know my husband loves me and I know he hurting but I need to feel like I'm not going through this alone I want to see that he is mourning too! Now I find that I am overly protective of my other 2 children I took my 3 year old to the doctor and was nervous the whole time because of the stupid west Nile virus I keep thinking I don't know what I'd do if I lost my other 2 babies! My children are my life so now I get kinda frantic if they have a fever or a cough! I am a very emotional person I make very strong emotional connections!

Randi Armijo Due January 1 (girl); Aurora, Colorado 17 posts
23rd Aug '12

:( I am so sorry, miscarriage is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I was 9 weeks pregnant, and the father and I were so excited to welcome our new member to our families. My miscarriage lasted three days, first day was cramping, horrible cramping. second day was cramping, then the spotting was happening but the cramping was so bad I had to go to the ER, there they gave me an ultrasound and found my baby with no heart beat :o( so they told me to wait it out, to wear a maxi and keep a heated pad on my stomach and wait for it to pass. That "waiting" period was the longest day in my entire life. And when I passed the baby, I literally heard my heart break, when I screamed and my boyfriend figured out what just happened I can hear his heart break as well. The pain was unimagineable, emotionally and physically. But please don't ever think it was your fault or there was something you could have done because there is nothing anybody could have done. And yes too this day I constantly have to remind myself that or I would beat myself up every day. and you are not alone, I suffered with that as well, complete strangers, I, Myself am here to hear you, feel for you, deal with this with you.